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LETTERS & POEMS

TU ES BRITHER JAN,

IN

The Devonshire Dialect

BY

Nathan Hogg.

FIRST SERIES.

EDITED, WITH BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH, BY

ROBERT DYMOND, F.S.A.

Seventh Edition — Enlarged — with a Revised Glossary.

S. DRAYTON & SONS,

20I, HIGH STREET, EXETER.
1902.

Ai.L Rights Reservep.

■M

V-'v

t~'.'

CONTENTS.

7

letter from prince lucien bonaparte ... 4

biographical sketch ... ... 5

introductory letter to first edition ... 6
tha hossminship

gooda vridy tha vair, etc, ... ... 9

tha wile baists ... ... ii

Nathan's love letter ... ... 13

peters tower, tha raylrauo, etc. ... ^i

BOUT THA BALUNE ... ... l8

BOUT THA VANCY BAL ... ... 20

ESTER VAIR ... ... ... 21

BOUT THA RIETING ... ... 23

BOUT THA BAL ... ... 25

THA GENTLEMEN ACKTERS ... ... 28

TOR ABBEY VAISTINGS ... ... 31

JAN Moody's letter pis tha crimyin war ... 34

tha milshy

the drawing room

tha kitchin ... ... ... 43

tha rifle corps ... ... 4^

tha old humman way tha urd ci.oke ; un tha

EVIL EYE ... ... ... 4p

THA MANADGERY AT ESTER VAIR ... 75

BRADNINCHIAN JUSTICE ... ... 76

37
41

>• OTfc-fl £^M f

I^ts Eogal ?|igf)itfss lirinrc 3£ouis iluctm
Bonaparte to tljc ^iittor.

My Dear Mr. Baird,

About your dedicating your book to me, I shall
be very happy to accept it ; and as far as concerns my
humble individual opinion about your ability in the
Devonshire Dialect, I can only say that all the most
intricate and difficult questions about the pronunciation
and other grammatical proprieties of this very interesting
dialect have been answ^ered by you in such a manner as to
enable me to adopt several of the modifications of the
orthography, the which certainly I could never have
attained except through a person thoroughly acquainted,
as you, in my opinion, undoubtedly are, with the peculiarities
of this curious form of the English speech.

Believe me, yours very sincerely,

L. L. Bonaparte.

Biograpljiral ^ketclj.

Henry Baird, the pc^ular writer of poems in the
Devonshire Dialect under the nom de plume of " Nathan Hogg,"
was a native of Exeter. In person he was short and dark,
with a peculiar cast in the eye, and a depressed manner. In
early life he was a Clerk in the office of Mr. Hugh M.
Ellacombe, Attorney, of Exeter (elder brother of the late
Rev. H. T. Ellacomre, f.s.a.), and the last who held the
office of Chamberlain of that City. Later on, Baird carried
on business as a Bookseller in St. Martin's Lane, Exeter,
and was also connected with the local Newspaper Press.

He was a close observer of the peculiarities of the

Devonshire Dialect, and published, chiefly in the Devon

Weekly Times, the humorous poetical sketches, which were

afterwards collected and issued in a separate volume, entitled,

" Poetical Letters iu, es Brither Jan, by Nathan Hogg." The

genuine humour and poetical genius displayed in these letters,

and their close delineation of the vulgar speech of the County,

have i-endered them so popular, especially with students of

provincial dialect, that another Edition has been called for.

That distinguished linguist, the late Prince Lucien Bonaparte,

was so struck with them that he came to Exeter, and sought a

conference with the author. Hence the Second Series of

" Nathan Hogg's Poems " were dedicated to the Pi-ince. As

in so many similar cases, Baird's gifts did not include a

talent for money-making, and he left Exeter in the hope of

obtaining more profitable employment on the Metropolitan

Press. He did not long survive the change, and on the

3rd of May, 1 88 1, he died in St. Thomas' Hospital of

consumption, aged about 52 years.

Robert Dymond, F.S.A.
Exeter, Match, t888.

3ntrotiuctor2 Shelter to tjje jl^irst (!5tiition.

ExTER, Augist 2^th, 1847.

Deer Janny,

'Im gwain vur ta stan vaur ma betters —
Tve agreed vur ta pirnt iv'ry wan a me letters ;
I've talk'd way me Vriends vurry auff'n kinsarning
Tha gude thay wid du in purmoting a larning :
Laurd Chistervield dude et, (yu've yerd uv es name?)
An zo did Chapone, an I'll du jist tha zame,
Vur I darezay et mit (tho' uv kuse es cant tull)
Lam miny pore nawnithin vellers ta spull.
Eddicashin, deer Jan, is a bewtivul thing —
'Tis better thin ort a tal ulse thee kiss bring :
Wen es bothe wen ta skool stid uv playing and vighting,
I always stick'd vast ta ma spulling and vrighting,
Zo now I be abul ta hannel ma queel,
Vur I've yerd thare's a way, if thare's uny a weel.
Deer Janny, I shant vrite thur moar now at present,
Bit stap way tha haup I've dude gude ta tha pheasant;*
If as how thay doant want us ta laff at thare spulling,
Let min zit too an lam, vur thay may if thay'm wuUing :
Wen I've pirnted me bukes I shill zend wan ta Zogg,
Deer brither I wish thur adu,

Nathan Hogg.

* Peasant.

NATHAN HOGG'S LETTERS

TU ES BRITHER JAN.

ExTER, April 12, 1846.

Deer Jan,

I vrites, as I agreed.
Ta tell thur aul thit I've a zeed ;
An girtly I've a bin amused,
Vur tu zich zights I bant a used.
Tha tother night I went to zee
Tha hossminship, lor what a spree !
I thort as how I shude a dide
Way laffin, an a split ma zide,
Tu chaps urn'd in za limp as ails,
A turning auver taps an tails,
An vallin down way zich a wack,
I thornt thay muss a brauk thare back;
I ax'd a chap a zitting thare
How 'twas thit thay sude doo za quare,
Ha zed, uv kuse, thay jum'pd about,
Cuz thare back boans wos took'd out.
Then thurteen bosses tratted in.
And made up zich a purty zene ;

NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS.

An wan tha chaps ha gied a jump,

An cleer'd aul awmin in a lump.

Wull, tu a hoop thay had a tide

Zome daggers round about inzide,

Tha vuUer jump'd, za deer's a egg,

Rite droo, an niver scratch'! es leg.

Nex a man an hoss com'd in,

An gallup'd aul aroun tha ring ;

Ha uny gied es wip a znack,

Then stude up tap tha hosses back,

An zirri'd za aisy gwain aroun,

As if ha stude pin tap tha groun ;

Bim-bye, in com'd a wacking hoss,

A man lied tap es back across,

Ha urn'd an zniff'd, an kik'd an shied,

I thort as how tha man'd a died ;

I spose ha didd'n, vur in tha night,

I zeed min luking up all vright.

I went last Zindy zeed tha churches.

An wair'd ma bess coat, hat, an burches;

I thort as how tha vokes did stare

Ta zee mer drest like vur a vair.

I'm sorry thit I must a dun

Avaur I've told thur all tha vun.

Yu zee me paper's viird up quite.

Bit zune agane I'll try ta vrite ;

I haup as how yu veeds tha dog, —

Yer luving brither.

Nathan Hogg.

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

(^oolia Uritig, Cija Fair, ^c,

ExTER, 2isi April, 1846.

Deer Jan,

I now vrites as I zed how I weed,
Ta tull thur zom moar aw tha zights I've a zeed,
Vur Exter's tha place, if et bant dang ma wig,
Ta zee zome rear sport ur ta carr aun a rig ;
Bit tha cnaps thit be urning about all tha day,*
Drest up jist like munky's agwain ta tha play —
Thay woant let thur stan in tha strait way yer cart,
Ulse yu'm took'd vaur tha mare and a vin'd purty zmart.
I wis passing wan day alonzide tha Gilhal,
An yer'd min inzide kikking up uv a bral ;
A big bullied veller had a got holt (ess vath !)
A boocher vur karrin es pig in tha path.
Nov/ tha genelvoks yer may du jist as thay plaize,
An Stan bout tha shops an tha straits at thare aize —
Tu a vuUer drest wul thay niver zes nort,
An that are's tha rais'n a new coat I've bort.
Now wen Tm zot quiet I thinks ta mersul.
As how I should du vur a mare vury wul,
An I'll tull thur tha vust thing I'd du ta be zhore,
Pitch et in tap tha urch za wul as tha pore ;
I wis axed out lass Vridayt ta brekses at aight,
Niver avaur did I zee zich a gorjus zight —

* Policeman. f Good Friday.

lO NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS.

Es ad nort ulse bit keaks way crasses pin tap,

Zes 1 vur them are I'm a cabical chap ;

They handid min roun ta tha vokes thit wur there —

Thay wis vury zmal aiters and did'n min stare,

Vur noan awmin took'd out abuv wan ur tu,

Bit I took'd tha platter wayout more adu.

Vur dinner, deer Jan, us'd a got a rare dish,

Uv butter an eggs way pasnips an vish.

A Mundy es went down an zeed tha girt vair,

Ta be zure twas anuff ta mak. iny wan stare —

Wa tha zwingers, an shaws, an tha pickters, an ban,

I cud'n a zim'd thare wis ort haf za gran ;

Thare wis wan purty gal, bit a chaiting yung thing,

Who ax'd mer ta gie hur a bit uv a zwing,

I got in azide aw hur, bit wen es cum'd out,

Iv'ry wan a me pokkits wis tum'd inzide out ;

Her urn'd ta tha vokes an a got in atween

Put her thum tap her nauze, an cal'd out yu be green !

Then stright I urn'd hom, the mis think vury quare.

An ad nort moar ta du way girt Exter vair.

If I beant hom in a week, or zay rather better,

I'll write thur, deer Jan, a banging girt letter —

Thay wants mer ta stap, I doant think as I shal,

Vur I've got a girt hinklin ta ze ma ole gal ;

Zo gie ma kend luv ta Bets, Nanee, an Zogg,

Vrim yer vechshinit brither,

Nathan Hogg.

NATHAN HOGGS LETTERS. H

Clja Mile Baists.

ExTER, May iSih, 1846.

Deer Janny,

I vrites as I zed how I weed,
An be now gwain ta tull thur zom moar I've a zeed.
A short time ago I wis down in tha town,
An zeed zich a wackin girt thing komin down,
Way a nauze in es veace thit tha voks kal'd a znout.
Aw 'twis musin ta zee min a twirdlen about ;
An I think wayout tuIHng a wurd uv a lie,
Thit ha stude vule veefteen ur zixteen veet hie :
Zom zed 'twis a hulHfmt, but a chap urning pass,
Wen I ax'd en wat 'twas, zed a rinasseras ;
Howiver, deer Jan, let min be wat ha weed,
I niver avaur zich a wacker hav zeed ;
A vine looking humman zot up tap es back.
Aw lor, if hur'd val'd hur muss had a wack ?
If they shaw'd zich a windervul zight aul vur nort,
Mist be zix times za wull vur a zixpince I thort ;
Zo zune arter I went down an zeed aul tha baist,
An gied drippence moar vur ta zee min all vaist.
Wen vust I kum'd down a yung humman got in.
Who tha kal'd a quare name, tha girt Han Quene ;
Hur pokid tha lian, an nack'd min, deer Jan,
Jist like I'd be banging our little dog Van ;
Put her haid in es mouth, ha begun'd vur ta kauff,
Lor a marcy, zais I, ha'll znip en irt auff !
An I darezay, deer Jan, thit it wud ha been dude,
If hur'd got ort a tal in her haid thit wis gude.

12 NATHAN HOGGS LETTERS.

Tha thing thit I zeed in tha day dude a trick —

Put es nauze in ma pokkit an took'd a girt brick,*

Ha tucked en up under es znout ta make zhore,

An put en out roun as if axing vur moar ;

Zais I, " chaw a hapmy," bit cute as a vox,

Ha put up es nauze and drappen intu a box.

Wull then es went roun ware tha munky's wis keep'd —

An wan awmin zim'd like as if ha wis zleep'd,

Zo I put in me han jist ta much down es tail,

When ha kort holt my thum, an moast brauk auf tha nail,

Zo 1 moov'd auff vrim thare, za vast as I kude,

Vur ha tride ta kum out, wich I thort ha'd a dude.

A bird ad a vish thare za big as a hake,

He haupen'd es mouthe, an jist geed min a shake,

Then gobbled min down vrim tha tap ta tha tail.

An made no moar awmin nor if 'twis a ail.

An tha man zed as how thit auff'n thay kan

Wen they veels vury hungary, zwailer a man ;

The vokes all did laff, but I dude nort bit stare,

Zo they kal'd out old kodger, yude better take kare ;

Wat thay mains be old kodger I can't tull a tal,

But I zim'd thit as how thay wur up vur a bral,

Zo I thort tha bess thing was ta cut purty quick,

Vur vear that pin tap mer thay'd play iny trick.

I shill luke out an try to git zummat ta du,

Vur I hunderstans geard'nin an other things tu.

Ma paper's vill'd up, so in kuse I mist stap.

But I'll soon write thur moar about Exter, ole chap.

Tha next time I vrites et wull be ta deer Zogg,

Vrim yer veckshinit brother,

Nathan Hogg.

* Penny loaf.

NATHAN HOGGS LETTERS. 13

Wattau's Hobe 5Lcttrr,

ExTER, May 25^/2, 1846.

Deer Zoggy,

I've uny jrst got yer letter,
An girtly be plaized vur ta yer thit yu'm better ;
Yu zes yu daunt spoas as how thit I luv thur,
An way living in Exter be got above thur,
But dang ma ole buttons, tant true, vur I nivir
Hav zeed a maid yer haf za purty an clivir,
Zo I'll nivir vursake thur za long as me lyve,
An wen es cums horn I'll make thur me wive ;
Aw lor, when I thinks aw't me hart knacks about,
Jist as if ha wur reddy vur jumping irt out,
Exter maidens luke wull anuff when thay be dress'd.
Way thare vine vantysheeny goold things in thare brest,
But if yu cude uny jist zee min be day,
Thay be lookin za yeller as old dyver'd hay —
I thinks that most aul awmin wants mer ta spaik,
But na, deeress Zoggy, me haid bant za walk,
Thay lukes in me veace, how they laffs to be zure.
Like as if I wid spaik thay wid zay zummat moar.
I cude git a dressmaker* weniver I likes,
Uny hold up me vinger, ta walking thay hikes,
I zees turneys clarks, an shop vuller zwulls,
Aul awmin doo's et wen passin tha gals ;
But yu need'n be veer'd thit I be tha zame,
I shude haup thit yu naws mur tu wull vur that game ;

* This only alludes to a peculiar class pursuing that avocation,
BO that no respectable young lady can take offence at Nathan, by
thinking herself included.

14 NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

An I'll tell thiir agane, as avaur I've a zaid,

Thit I niver wia marry a dressmakin maid,

A squatting about in tha houze all tha day,

An a girt dail too vine vur ta clain en away.

I thinks vury auffn wen us got zom vine weather.

How auffn us uzed ta go walkin tagether,

An bout tha girt tree in tha vour aker meade,

Ware hours es have zot vur ta bide in tha sheade ;

An then I thinks auver tha zmacks I've a gied thur.

An thort aut za long till I zim'd thit I zeed thur;

I dreem'd tother night thit I gied thur a zmacker,

Wen in com'd yer vather and vetch'd mer a wacker,

An et vrighten'd mer zo thit I val'd out a baid.

An agin the girt paust thare I hat me pore haid.

I zend thur, deer Zogg, a vew laces vur stays,

Bit I haup yu woant val in tha Exter maids ways,

Vur thay hal up thare wastis za toight and za zmal,

Thit I'm zartin tha mait niver gose down a tal.

An a cliver man tole mer hu vurily thort

Thay sqweez'd up tha hawls uv thare stummiks to nort.

I haup this'll zit thur parfickly aizy.

But I naw vury wul wat better wid plais'ee —

Yude reather I'd gie thur a kiss thin a letter.

Bit keep up yer spurrits, tis aul vur tha better —

Zo now I mist wish thur gude by, me deer Zogg,

Vrim yer veckshinit luver,

Nathan Hogg.

NATHAN HOGGS LETTERS. 1 5

Jeter's Eotoer, tija EaulrauU, ^c.

ExTER, June Wi, 1846.
Deer Jan,

If in kase thit yu cude bit cum in
Vur ta zee half tha zights thit be yer ta be zin,
Yude niver vurgit niin, but winder and stare
Vur tha rest uv yer live, thay aul be za quare.
I wis up tap a Peter's girt tow'r tother day.
An thort thit I never shude vound out tha way,
Twis za dark, and za hie, thit I thort \vxy stap
Zim'd varder and varder vrim gwain up a tap ;
Ta last es got up ware thay keeps tha girt bul,
How vrighten'd I was I bant able to tul,
Zich a wackin girt thing — most za big's our church !
Vur ta zee min, I'm zure yu wide like vury murch ;
An tha man thit wis keepin tha kay uv tha tower,
Zais he, " wen ha rings, Exter beer aul turns zower ; "*
Now, I cant tuU thur Jan, if be tru ur et baint,
Zo uv kuse tidd'n vright vur tu zay thit et baint,
Arter this, es cum'd up, an es look'd out aroun;
An cude zee ivry pairt uv girt Exter town;
Tha zmoak an tha watter, tha zin and tha noyse —
Zich things me deer Janny, I always hinjoys ;
An tha chaps thit wis walkin aun down in tha raud,
Look'd like littel voks that I've raid aw abraud.
I tuke aufif me hat jist ta holler wurraw!
Wen ha zlip'd out me han, an ha val'd down belaw :
I shude ha' zeed moar, if et wadden vur that,
Bit of kuse 'twiddn du vur ta loss a new hat;

* An old saying. The bell is 12,500 lbs. weight, and cannot be
rung.

l6 NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS.

Alter vallin and scrallin zu vast as I cude,

I got en, bit didd'n wance think thit I shude.

A Tuesedy* es went down ta Tingmith be steem,

Aw ! niver uv ridin za vast did I dreem ;

Twis jist agaun twulve wen es cum'd out ta stashin,

A urning an zwettin like ole botherashin ;

I thort zo, thinks I, I'm in vury gude time,

Zo I was — vur to zee min go down droo tha line,

A puffin an blawin, an like a yung cheel,

A screechin an hoUin, as if ha cude veel ;

I ax'd wan tha chaps vur ta urn down an stap'n,

But ha laff'd at me zo, I shude like tu ha' wap'n,

Wull es waited out thare, till up tu ur haf arter,

A walkin an talkin way Will an es darter;

Wen thay aupen'd tha door, us wis aul aw's pairted,

Vur I tummil'd in vust, vur veer ha'd ha' started ;

Bim bye, auff es goes, et a winderful speed !

An zich a vine zight auver Exter es zeed,

Tha houzes and tow'rs, an aul awt bezide.

An eet, arter aul, lor, how vast es did ride !

Es cum'd down ta Dalish, aw didd'n I stare !

Vur ta zee tha girt ships, and tha zay all za quare ;

An tha tides wis a rolhn, za blue and za white,

Deer Jan, arter aul, twis a butivul zight ;

Aul ta wance es urn"d in tu a wackin girt haul,t

Za dark thit yu cuden zee nothin a taul :

An then es com'd out in tha hair an tha zin.

An vaster an vaster, ta Tingmith did rin.

Deer Jan, I daunt think thare wis ort a tal, skace

Weth talkin about, iny pairt uv tha plaice ;

I stap'd thare til haf arter zix I shude spose,

* The South Devon Railway to Teignmouth was opened the
previous day. t Tunnel.

NATHAN HOGGS LETTERS. 1 7

Wen ta com horn agane, ta tha stashin es gose ;

Thare wis lots leff behind em, tha night avore that,

Zo es went up thare airly, thinks I, I bant vlat !

Zes tha chap, " Zir, yer tikket " — zes I , " wat'ee zay ?

" Way I draw'd en down tap uv tha table ta day."

Zes he, " Me deer zur, I daunt naw nort about et,

Bit yu cant gO' vur zartin, ta Exter way out et : "

Arter ballin an nackin a girt dail a bother,

I was blaijed vur ta pay en, to gie mer another.

Wull then in es gose, bit moast daid way that hot,

An zot aul aroun mer, there was zich a lot ;

An a hulkin girt chap, who es ax'd to zit down,

Ha stap'd up tha winder moast aul up ta town.

Bit es got horn quite saff, zo thar iddn nort moar.

About tha rail raud, a weth tullin I'm zhore.

I wish yu cude uny com in a vew days.

An zee bit a vew uv tha Exter vokes ways :

An I warn'ee za zune, as yu com in, yu shal

Pick up in a minit a vury nice gal ;

Wen tha chaps veels inclin'd vur ta git a hung humman,

If shude be pin a Zindy, ta Vaur-strait they go min ;

An urns up'ndown till they zees wan thay likes,

Then out vur a walkin tagether thay hikes.

Thare be thowsins a maid'ns, and thowsins a men,

A pakin droo Vaur-strait, vrim hight up ta ten; —

A maid nur a man, nver walks abuv wance

Droo tha strait, wayout tis vur ta luke vur a chance.

I've a took'd up ta zmoak, vur I've found out a houze

Tho ('bout et I keeps murzel quiets a mouze !)

Ware thay zills thare cigars haf a diz'n vur drippence,

Ur if yu takes twulve, you can git min vur vippence ;

An tha man z^i tis tumey's clarks moastly thit by's em.

An shopmen, an zometime thit gennelmen trys em.

l8 NATHAN HOGG'S LETTERS.

I've a vill'd up me paper, I think, vurj' tidy,
Bit I'll tull thur lots moar if I cums hom a Vridy.
Zo now ril shet up — gie ma kind luv ta Zogg,
Vrim yer veckshinit brither,

Nathan Hogg.

'Bout tt)a Balune.

ExTER, August nth, 1846.

Deer Jan,

I daunt think I shude vrite haf za zune,
If et wadd'n ta tull thur about tha balune ;
Arter zich a vine zight thinks I ta be zhore
I'll vrite, if et idd'n ta tull thur nort moar.
About haf arter zix es went up droO' tha town.
And hundreds a vokes wis a gw' ain up'ndown ;
And dang et, deer Janny, how much thee wiss stare,
Ta zee min dress'd viner than vur iny vair.
Well, zune es oes up ta tha tap uv tha strait,
As I thort et mist be a gude place vur ta wait ;
Zo es stiks merzul up ta tha zide uv a houze,
An waited ta zee min, za quiet's a mouze,
Aul ta wance es wis kaining up auver tha ski,
And zeed a quare thing gwain up windervul hi;
Zes I tu a chap, " What dee cal thic a-head ?"
Zes he, " Aw that are's tha balune's little maid ; "*

* The small pilot balloon sent up a few minutes before the large
one.

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

19

I wis mused vur ta yer min za diver ta talk.

And ha drade a balune gin tha wal way zom chalk :

Zune arter, tha chaps gied a tarrabul bal,

An tha hummen and childem begin'd vur ta squal :

As ha cum'd out like winky out auver tha pleace,

I cude zee en za plain as tha nauze in yer veace;

I voller'd en up alongzide uv zome moar,

Till ha got up vule tu ur dree miles, I am zshore;

An zom uv tha vokes thare, thay holler'd out loud,

" My ivers, ha's gone in a wacking girt cloud ! "

Ha cum'd out agane, bit zune went out a zight,

An didd'n com^ horn till up ten tha zame night.

I thort to merzul, how windervul quare,

Et was vur ta zee a man ride droo tha hare,

Wayout ort in tha wordel thit iny aw's zeed,

Vur ta hold n ur push'n zich windervul speed :

I didd'n zee nort bit a wackin girt bal,

And I'm zure thicky thing cud'n pull min a tal :

If Vather and ole Hunkel Will cude bit zee

Tha things thit be dooing, how vrightene'd thay'd be !

Poor vellers ! thay always wis vond uv ort vresh,

Wen thay liv'd tap tha aith, an like us wis vlesh;

Bit 'tis ta be haup'd thay now zees quarer things,

An vlys likes balunes droo tha hare wayout wings.

In looking up to min I stap'd in a bogg, —

Vrim yer veckshinit brither,

Nathan Hogg.

20 NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

'Bout tf}a Uanf2 Bal,

ExTER, January iSt/i, 1847.

Deer Janny,

I vrites, an in haups vur ta vind
That yu bares et up wull bothe in body an mind,
'Tis a long time ago thit I vraut ort a tal,
Bit I thort I must tull thur about tha vine bal ;
Thare wis dresses all vorrin, an hair powder'd white,
I be dang'd if et wadd'n a most komikil zight.
An as up ta tha doorway tha cars wis a draw'd —
Lor a macy ! I zim'd I was auver abraud !
Tho' tha bal didd'n aup'n till gittin most leb'n,
I made vur tha geat about haf arter zeb'n ;
Vur I thort thit tha voices wid a chuck'd up tha strait,
An I hadd'n no mind vur ta loss zich a trait.
Wull up com's a car, an then out jumps a veller,
Way coat made a spang'ls, an edgid way veller,
An es urch looking burches a skoUop'd aul roun,
I'm zshore mist a caust en up vule veefty poun.
Then up ta tha doorway another wis drade,
Dress'd up like tha chaps ware tha tay is a made* —
YuVe auff'n a zeed min ta ole Mother Banisturs,
Cuz hur've got em a painted pin tap uv hur kannisturs.
A covey went in thit I thort wis a Turk,
Bit vrightvul anuff ta make iny dog burk ;
Zom cal'd en a Pasher vrim Haygipt — bit Laur !
I niver zeed iny dress'd quarer avaur.

* China.

NATHAN HOGGS LETTERS. 21

Thay begin'd vur ta drap in za thik an za vast,
Thit I thort I shude niver a zeed out tha last ;
Thare wis sailers an saujers, way silver an leace
An ladees way viewers stik'd all roun thare veace;
Thare wis "Murrikins, Turks, an pass'ns and squires,
An huntsmen and pheasants, ('tis thaize I hadmires.)
Deer Jan how more nauble twid be ta be zshore.
If they'd gie haf tha munny thay waste ta tha pore,
Vur droo Exter Market thare bant to be voun,
No vlesh whatsimiver, under zix pince a poun;
Poor crayturs may starve, but thay daunt care a kuss,
An zooner would zee it thin aup'n thare puss ;
An tha tettys be higher than iver avaur,
Thay bant auver gude vur wan an hightpince a skaur,
An thay daunt zim as if they wis likely ta drap,
But I haup thee'st a dig'd up a purty gude crap.
Me leg is za bad thit I hops like a vrogg,
Vrim yer veckshinit brither,

Nathan Hogg.

Ester Fair.

Exter, April gth, 1847.

Deer Jan,

As I zed wen es pairted a Vridy,
I writes vur ta zay if tha vair wis ort tidy :
At tha pikturs an vokes, an tha musik an shaws,
Deer brither I'm zshore thee'st a cock'd up thee nauze.
Wen vust es kom'd down a young humman hur jits
Me ulbaw, an ax'd vur dree happerd a nits,

22 NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

Zais I, " wull me deer I be up vur zum fun,"

Zo auver I gose an 1 takes up tha gun,

Bit I voun ha wis turrabul hard vur ta hannel,

An instid uv tha thurty I shet at tha kannel ;

How hur znigger'd an laff'd I didd'n like vury wul,

Zo I gied her tha munny ta shet vur hurzul ;

Thinks I arter this, I daunt think thares a thing

I shude like haf za well as to ride in a zwing,

Zo es zits murzul in, an ha gose up like winky,

Bit in tu er dree minnits I begun'd vur ta blinky ;

I was zick an za bad an tha vellers keep'd ballin,

'■ Deer yer how ha's crackin ? My ivers ha's vallin !"

An wen es kom'd out vur ta stan pin tha groun,

Tha pikturs an aul awt zim'd twirdlin aroun ;

An et made mer za bad vur tha rest uv tha night,

Thit I cuden way spurit injoy iny zight.

As a bit uv a channge es gits intu a pleace

Ware a vuller'd a painted aul auver es veace,

Ha was dress'd up za vunny an talkid za kute,

An hop'd auver es leg wile ha holdid es vute,

An wan litt'l vuUer thay Hde en down vlat.

An tide up es body complait in a nat ;

Ha wis dude up za wul, if ha wadd'n I'm blistered !

Deer Jan as thee'st tie up a girt skain a wisterd ;

An wen thay'd a twisted tha chap up za smal,

Thay truckl'd en roun like a big caddy bal.

Wull then es gits roun ware tha hummen wis dancin,

An tha drums wis a bating an murrymins prancin,

An wan a tha maids gied her nauze a gude wipe

Way her hand, an kom'd vorrid an danc'd a hornpipe ;

Her dude et za vitty, an light as a veather,

And then vive ur zix awmin aul danc'd tagether.

Bit laur ! if I stap vur ta tull aul tha vun.

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS. 23

I shil vrite vur a vortnit an then shant ha dun;
Bezide, me deer Jan, I'm a blaijed vur ta stap,
As I've vill'd up me paper vrim bottim ta tap,
I haup thit as how thee wis zend in tha dogg :
Vrim yer veckshinit brither,

Nathan Hogg.

'Bout tta i^ieting.

ExTER, May \2th, 1847.

Deer Janny,

As tettys an caurn be sa skace,
I daunt think a vew wurds wid be murch out a place ;
An as I'm azot be merzul all za quiet,
I mains vur ta tull thur about Exter riet.
Las' Vriday wis week as I pakid down droo
Exter straits, I wis tole thit a mortal baloo
Wis aun, an thit hummen an childem be zwarms,
Wis braiking tha winders, an aul up'n harms;
Thinks I, wuU I'm blister'd if this bant a job,
An then laur a macy ! I spied out tha mob : —
Deer Jan, I wis stin'd arter walking irt down.
Vur I vancied twis aul uv the hummen in town ;
Thay wis dring'd up an ballin, an zwearin, an hootin,
An pushid za hard thit I lost holt me vooting,
An val'd taps an tarvey rite down pin tha stones —
Twis a macy I did'n crack aul aw ma bones ;
Wull, es voller'd em up vur a hower or too,
A ballin an kikkin up zich a ta doo,

24 NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

An wile es wis talkin 'bout wat made em rauze,

A wackin girt stone com'd up bang gin ma nauze ;

An I've winder'd an winder'd as how thicky stoan,

(Zick a wacker as twas) didd'n braik in tha boan ;

Thinks I thare be dahnger, an thort to merzul,

If es keep'd varder back es cude zee jist za wul.

Wul vorrid thay went, an I vurrily thort

They'd a zmash'd aul tha winders thay toss'd at, ta nort,

An as zom uv tha howzes, thay dringid a pass,

My ivers thay pipper'd girt stones ta tha glass —

Deer Janny, daunt niver zay hummen be quiet,

Twis thay thit made up iv'ry bit uv tha riet,

An wan a tha wist awmin hoUer'd an zed,

" Tan't wisser ta die thin ta live wayout bred."

I thort avaur that thay cude du nort bit grin,

But I vound all ta wance I wis dewcid took'd in.

I voller'd an voller'd, an zeed as they zed,

Thay wis aul detarmin'd ta git holt zom bred,

An jigger me, Janny, thay aul uv a hop,

Stude outside uv Kenhoods, wat keeps a bred shop ;

Ha haupen'd tha doorway, an draw'd out zom rolls,

Thit hat em moast dreadful pin tap uv thare polls.

An made tha poor crayturs ta rub em an schatch em,

Bit et wadd'n no joke, tho' I liked vur ta watch em,

Thay sar'd all tha bakers up droo' jist the zame,

An zom awmin thort twis a cabical game.

An I'm zartin, deer brither, as miny ulse thort,

Thit haf awmin dude et wat didd'n want nort.

T vurgot vur ta tull thur as how I've a been

Zwared in as a kunstabil sar\'in tha Queen,

An I made a mistake, vur ma staff was za zlipper,

Thit I hit wan uv ourzide a dewce uv a clipper,

Bit I told en I didd'n wance main vur ta doo et.

NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS. 25

Vur ha hold up es awn an wis gwain to goo too et ;
Bit I'm like haf tha tothers thit got in tha lot,
If tha vellers wis vighting, ta cut like a zshot.
The saujers wis all awmin cal'd up be night,
Way thare bagganit guns, vur ta zee aul wis rite ;
Bit thay vound thit tha mob didd'n like vury wul
Ta git a gude wacking, no moar thin merzul.
But now I mis stap, vur I've burn'd out tha light,
Zo I wish thur, deer brither, a vur}- gude night ;
I shill cut off ta baid, vur tis dark as a bogg ;
Vrim yer veckshinit brither,

Speshil Kunstabil Hogg.

'iSout Efja Bal.

Exter, 2/\ih December, 1847.

Deer Jan,

Tis za lang zince I vraut ta thur last,
Thit I vinds I bant ekal ta writing za vast ;
Vur laming like iv'ry thing ulse, me deer Jan,
If you doant voller't up, ull git out a yer han ;
Tha biggest vule apin aith wid be abul ta vrite,
If ha'd zeed bit a haf wat I zeed Mundy night,
Bit I vlatters merzul as I've got better sense,
Thin ta keep thur, deer Jan, iny longer in 'spense ;
Cant'ee guess wat et is (no I spose nat a tal),
Laur a macy, deer Jan, I've a been tu a ball ! —
(I mains I've a zeed wan) way Will an es Zister,

26 NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

Vur es gied highteenpense, ta git in tha Horkister;

Wull es gits in thick place and tho' haf arter wan,

Es had vule highteenpennard a vun me deer Jan,

Vur ta zee aul tha shopmen, an tailors, an clarks,

Wizzing about tha re yung hummen and havin' zich larks ;

If yu'd zeed tha maids dresses (Laur a macy ta vew min !)

I ad nort ulse ta du bit ta watch and luke tu min;

Thare wis zom aul in blu, an zom dress'd up in black,

Zom look'd like kammils way girt humps pin thare back,

An I'm darn'd if I'm iny thing like a gude jidge,

Pin tap aw'm cude ride vrim tha rume ta Exe bridge ;

'Tis all nonsinse begads (thay may cal mer a prater)

Let min war no moar bussel thin's gied em be natur,

Tho' I think arter aul, thay'm convaynyent an warm,

Vur a chap wen ha's tired, vur ta lain down es arm,

An I don't zee as how, be tha luke uv tha gown,

Thit a thing like that are wid be likes ta zlip down.

Wull thay hug'd up wan tother in za luving a way,

(How thit us dith et hom mis be murch out tha way.)

An thay wadn'n pirtikler, (I thort et za strahnge)

Stid uv stikking tagether, iv'ry dance thay wid chahnge ;

If I had a maid thit a chap hal'd about,

I shude up way han an a vetch'd en a clout,

Vur dam'ee deer Jan (niver mind how thay laffs)

I bant thicky wan thit wid like ta go haf's.

Wull tha mewsic plaid up, auff thay walsid za quick,

Tu er dree um'd away, an I think thay was zick ;

Way if I wiz ta hannil a maid in our pleace

As thay did in the walse hur'd be skattin me veace ;

Wen I zees thit yung girls likes zich haUin about,

I reckons tis time thit thare mothers look'd out ;

An yu naws brither Jan, thit 'tis true wat I zay,

Tho' I likes a gude danse wen tant nort out the way.

NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS. 27

Bit tha maid'ns look'd wull arter makin a cheese,*

Then aul up an auff, Hke tha zwarmin a bees,

Iv'ry wan in tha rume look'd bewtivul vath,

(Bit mis zee in tha day vur ta tall a gude clath.)

In tha kuse uv tha night thay wis playing a rail,

Ur a Pokha (I didd'n yer haid nur no tail)

When a chap aul ta wance, as a tride ta urn zlack,

Ha cock'd up es pumps an went irt pin es back,

I spose arter that thit ha zim'd ha wer'nt right,

Vur I nivir cort zight awn no moar vur tha night.

I've thort pin et auff'n an auff'n deer Jan,

Wy zich vine looking maids cud'n pik up a man

Wayout gwain ta zich places, a hopping and prancin

Bit I spose them air chaps chuses wives vur thare dancin.

Bit I'd rather have wan (bevaur aul av thare stock)

That wid work bout the house, an cude clain out a crock.

Tho' I daunt main to zay zome aw'n thare cud'n du et,

Bit I zim'd be thare lukes thit they wadd'n used tu et.

I be quite out a vriting which I haup thee'st exkewze,

In vack I mis stap cuz I've told aul tha newze.

I bant nort like tha man I was vaur I laust Zogg,

Nor I shant be no moar vrim yer brother,

N. Hogg.

* Having once been asked to define the term, " maTcing a cheese,"
■& country friend present favoured the company with the following
explanation. — " Way, yu mist turn round tu ur dree times, and go
quat." This must be synonymous with " ruckee down ; " and to
those who are not honoured by a personal acquaintance with
Nathan, and may probably think the character overdrawn, it
should be remarked that the above was given by the son of a
respectable farmer residing not five miles from the old city. If
this is from the master, what may be expected from the man,
•especially at a greater distance from the " cultivated."

28 NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS.

E\}tL Gentlemen ^ckters.

ExTER, 2gtk Feb., 1848.

Deer Brither,

I zed if I went ta tha play
That I'd vrite thur about et tha vury nex day —
Zo I thort tha bess way vur ta make et aul vrite,
Wis ta zit down and du et tha vury zame night.
Arter waiting and scrallin, an shuvin abit,
Es got in a place thit thay zed wis tha Pit,
An a vur)' gude name vur tha place wis za smal,
Thit I didd'n stay zwetting aul night, nat a tal.
Wul ez zits merzul in thare, za quiets a mouze,
And zeed aul tha vokes, iv'ry pairt uv tha houze,
An es vew'd all aroun, an es luk'd iv'ry zide,
Laur Janny ! yer mouthe wid a haupen'd za wide,
Vur ta zee aul tha Ladies vine dresses and haids
Dud up vur ta make em aul luke purty maids ;
Bit wan thing I almost vurgot tu a named —
Thare necks an thare buzzims most made mer a shamed ;
Way if I wis thare vathers, et es no use ta tul,
Bevaur T wid zee et, I'd drash em aul wul ;
Way our modest maids wid a blishid an shakid,
Vur ta zee yu or me way our buzzims aul nakid ;
Deer Jan I likes modisty deer ta me hart,
I doant think thay got murch, ur thay'm windervul zart ;
If ta git min a chap es tha rais'n thay doo et,
I shude zim thit a man uv no veelin wid vew et;
Now wid yu my deer Jan? if tha truth I mis tul,
I shude like thaize here things zeed be noan bit merzul >

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS. 29

If a poorer man's darter shude dress jist the zame,

Vrim tha vury zame wans, hur wid ha' a bad name, —

Bit be wat I can zim, twid be mortally quare,

If tha poor hadd'n got nat more sense thin that are.

Bit tha dresses ta night wis most aul new ta me.

An thingamys quarer I'm zshure cud'n be,

Yu may think, me deer Jan, that I'm zilling a packits

Wen I zes thit tha ladees thare (zom awm) ware jackits ;

Bit wat I now tul thur es true pin me wurd,

Thare was zom had min on, way tha tails egid urd ;

Deer Jan doant vurgit thaize be ladees uv urches,

I spose tha nex thing thay'll be putting aun burches.

Wull tha kurtin drade up, and a chap ha com'd in,

Lookng veard, an moas reddy ta jump vrim es skin,

Thay call'd en Dan Josey, (tha last name wis gude,)

Vur ha zim'd jist like wan uv our Josey's a stewd,*

Bit ha zune got es pluck up, and talk'd ta zom moar

Thit com'd in vur ta shaw thar zuls tap uv the vloor.

An a chap thit thay zed wiz " wan saize her Bizzan,"t

Ha got in moast turribul hobbils deer Jan,

Bit za miny wis thare thit it idd'n no gude

Vur ta tuU wan haf uv tha things thit was dude ;

Dree pairts uv et thare I cud'n understand,

I spose cus I haint a bin auff'n deer Jan,

Tha zecond kinsarn wis moast cabical vun,

An I understood iv'ry wan thing thit wis dun ;

Aw ! if yude a zeed thicky Jurry tha Vidler,

I think twis es name, (et was Vidler ur Didler)

An a vury gude name, vur deer Jan, twis za vunny,

Ta zee how a diddled a chap uv es munny,

An ha acted za wull, thit thay aut tu a paid min,

* Stew'd Owl. t Don Caesar de Bazan.

3© NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

Way yii may naw tha chap, they call'd en yung Laidman.

Bit tha chap I liked moast, wis a chap thay cal'd Zam,

He wis Hke yu ur me, a vine spuce country man.

An wen ha vust spoak, tho' ha said ha wis York,

Ha mit jist as wul zed, thit a knive wis a vorlc —

Ha wis wan uv tha hoffisers, Janny, an rayly,

Ha didd'n ack bad, I think ha s cal'd Bayly.

Thare wis lots moar besides, thit had cort me attenshin.

Bit paper be scace, zo thare names I cant menshin ;

Iv'ry body zed thare, tho I dunnaw mezul,

Thit thay plaid auf thare acting moast cabical wul —

I darezay thay all awmin (dang their girt haids !)

Wis vend uv tha spree vur ta kiss up tha maids.

An zom awmin zmackid an zmackid (Aw laur !)

As if thit thay niver had a zmacker avaur ;

Bit Jurry tha Vidler (tis true pin ma saul !)

Kiss'd za hard, thit I thort ha'd a kiss'd out a haul.

Wul I cant say murch moar, but tis quare now ta m.e.

How za miny ull vlock ta zich places, ta zee

Thaize nawnothin chaps, stid a gwain tu an sarving

Tha chaps thit got jainis an praps be haf starving ;

Bit I spose that aich gose vur ta shaw auff thare darter,

(Iv'ry wan vur es zul an let jainis com arter).

I cant tul thur more, aiv'n if I wis able.

If I du I shill vrite irt out auver tha table.

An tha clock's striking wan, if a han't I be vlogg,

Zo I'll stap, vrim yer veckshinit brither,

N. Hogg.

NATHAN HOGGS LETTERS. 3 1

S^or ^hht'^ Faistings.

TORKAY, June TfOth, 1849.

Deer Jan,

Es ad aulmost begun'd tu a thort
Thit me eddificashin ad val'd auf ta nort,
Bit I vinds pin tha titch (tho I zes et merzul)
Es wis nivir more ekal tO' vrighting za wul,
Vur wen larning ith wance a got in ta yer pole
Tis a diffikilt thing vur ta loosen ets hole ;
An zince, thank tha Laurd ! es be still in thic way,
Es uU tull thur tha things thit be dude in Torkay ;
Last Thesdy v/is week as }ai naws brither Jan,
Tha yung Squire ta Tor Abby becom'd twenty wan,
Zo ha ax'd aul es vokes, wat belong'd tu es state,
Ta du jistice long way en ta nive, vork an plate ;
Bit as that bant tha stuff thit a vuUer kin ait,
Thee mis geess es wis sar'd out za wul way zom mait.
Zoon arter cockleert, pin tha vury zame day,
Aul tha guns wis a shetting an viring away,
Bit es thort et no use vur ta go thare, nat yet,
Vur no wan cud'n tul ware tha bals mit be shet.
About haf arter wan (es doant like ta be late
Ta zich duings as this, as tis vrite vur ta state)
Es drade vore ta tha green, in tha fimt uv tha houze,
Bit tha vokes wadd'n com, zo 'twis quiet's a mouze,
Till tha Trumpits an Horns gin ta strick up a toon,
An twis zed they'd a play'd thare aul droo tha vournoon,
Zo thay blaw'd an thay blaw'd till I thort thit thay must
(I'm zartin I shude) a bin reddy ta bust ;

32 NATHAN HOGG'S LETTERS.

An' thay'd skacely got time vur ta vetch up thare win,

Wen Ihay play'd auf in firnt uv ta beef thit com'd in.

'Twis a wackin girt jint an a stick'd up'n en,

An carr'd pin tha sholders uv vower girt men,

Zo zes I ta merzul " es be abul ta ait,

Bit tul make a smal haul in thic girt piece a mait."

Wile es kainid an starid an gapsnested roun,

A girt cart load a pudd'ns com'd in tap tha groun.

Way tettees an things— bit et bant mer intenshin,

(Aiv'n if thit I cude) zich a lot vur ta menshin,

Vur thic minnit es zeed thay wis aul zitting down,

Zo es thort twis no time ta stan gapping aroun ;

Wul es zot down an tuck'd in tha pays an tha pork,

Wich es ait (Lor how gran !) way a vine zilver vork,

Belikes es didd'n use'n vitty, be that as it wul,

Ha widd'n urn inta tha mait vury wul.

Wul dinner wis din, and tha genelvoks stood,

An drink'd lots a helths, wich es aul av es dood,

When a chap shet a blunderbuss irt droo tha cover,

An auf went twenty cannins, wan arter tha tother ;

Deer Jan vur tha minnit es wish'd merzul horn,

Vur es thort, pin ma life, thit tha Vrench wis a kom ;

Arter wich aul tha genelvoks spaichified thare,

Till tha squire thort et time ta git out uv es chare,

Zo es aul aw's voller'd es Honor ta wance,

Vur ha zed thay wis g^vain to clain out vur a dance ;

Bit es vound es wis aul aw's kindiddled away

Thit tha hummen an thay mit be sar'd way zom tay—

An twis gude vur ta zee iv'ry wan who'd a wish

Sar'd out way a girt piece a cake an a dish.

In tha kuse uv tha aiv'ning tha genelvokes al,

Com'd down way tha vokes, and join'd in tha bal,

An me vace got za urd, an es veelid za gran.

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS. 33

Wen tha yung Squires zister hur shuv'd out hur han,

Zo es cort en holt lite (nat ta squeeze in tha boan)

An jist turnd hur round wance an then let en aloan.

Wul es stay'd till es veel'd rayther quare in tha haid,

Zo es thort et wis time vur ta cut horn to baid,

Wares es raimid an tossid, an kick'd up'ndown,

Till es dreem'd thit tha Vrench was a com'd in tha town,

An wis jist then ingaged in a turribul squabble

Wen es waked up an voun merzul out uv tha hobble.

Deer Jan up es vustled nex day arternoon,

An voun thit es wadd'n com'd auver ta zune,

Vur tha vust thing es zeed hoppin vorrid an back

Wis a vuller tide up tu es neck in a zack,

An wan ur tu moar wis a sar'd jist tha zame,

Altagether et vorm'd a moast cabical game.

Arter that thare wis munny drap'd intu a tub

Vul'd chuck vull a wotter (a hard zort a rub)

Wich tha chaps wis ta vung be thare gieing a dips,

And bring up tha munny between a thare lips.

An wan gaukim thare way a turribul slotter,

Tuck'd up es two legs an val'd strat in tha wotter —

Ha didd'n stap long vur ha com'd out moast chucking,

Nat a tal moar improoved be tha mains uv es ducking;

Ha zim'd steev'd way tha cold an tha daps me deer Jan,

Uv a thing es uv raid aw thay kals a say-man;

Et be dahngerus vath ! bit twid be es aun vaut

If tha munny'd a truckel'd irt down in es draut.

Bit tha best uv tha vun wis a pig thay relaised,

An zot min a uming, tha tail awmin graised.

An lots uming arter'n ta hole vast es tail,

Laur ! pore litt'l zooker how loud ha did squail ;

An a cathandid chap thort ha'd got en ta last —

Bit ha hadden ! vur auff ha urn'd double za vast,

34 NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

An a kik'd up tha pilamy an made zich a stewer,

Ware tha grass wadd n graud, how es laff' d to be zshore

An ha crinted an zlip'd droo thare hans like ta nort,

Till about haf a nour, an then ha wis cort.

Thare was climmin vur mutton, an giein a buns,

An drinkin a cider an beer be tha tuns,

Thare wis shettin vur nits, thare was dancin za wull —

In zshore me deer Jan thare wis tu murch ta tul. —

Ees thares more thit tha Squire ith a dude ta be zshore—

Ha'th a vill'd up tha stummiks uv lots a tha pore,

Et es zed tis vur this thit tha urch be a zent,

If et be ur et bant ha'ull nivir repaint.

Bit tis draeing aun time vir ta moove vrim me zait,

Zo I wish thur gude craps bothe a tetteys an wait.

I be wangery now an beginning ta jogg

An veels wapper-hyd. Vrim yer brither,

N. Hogg.

3an JSootig'S iLetter ^in tija Crimsin SlEar.

ExTER, Koctohur %th, 1856.

Deer Janny,

In raidin tha Exicr Gizcet
I com'd pin a letter — tis right thee shet zeet,
Vur yer naws Jan Moody, as I do mezul,
(I've auff'ntimes gied'n zom lessins ta spul,)

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS. 35

An I'm glad vur ta zee be tha vollering rime,
Thit ha hath a bin makin zich use uv es time.
I'm in a gurt hurry — ^jist changing me togg,
Zo mist stap, vrim yer veckshinit brither,

N. Hogg.

Knastone, Hoctobur ist, 1856.
Measter Hayditur,

ZUR,

I've a zot down ta drap
A vew lines, the' I bant bit a labering chap,
Vur thares miny vrim this part agaun vur ta sar
(Tho' es dont vight merzul) in this turribul war,
An tha noos that com'th horn shaws ta wance at a vew,
Thit thay naws how ta shet an use bagganits too,
An if you kin hannel a gun, way laurd drab et !
A Rooshin's moar aisy to shet thin a rabbit ;
Tho' es bant gid ta boast, es kin saffly declair,
Es kin knack down a vew, za wul's wan here an thare,
An if twadd'n vur this, thit es bant auver wul,
Es shude like vur to go out to Roosha merzul ;
An if in thicky place bit wan voot es cude git,
I warn'ee I'd warm up the varmints a bit ;
Bit tis no use ta tull about " wid if ha cude,"
Vur if aul dith tha zame thare'l be nort a tal dood.
A girt miny may think, cuz es lives in a place
Ware tha papers, an nuse, an zich things, be za skace,
Thit es naws nort a tal bout tha war thits gwain aun.
An daunt care a varden vur thay thit be gaun;

36 NATHAN HOGG'S LETTERS.

Bit I tuU thur wat tis, Measter H., droo tha Ian,

Et be velt mortal coot be tha poor tu a man; —

As a proof then es went inta Exter wan day,

Vur ta by a vew things zich as cannels and tay,

An 'twis rap'd up'n paper : Es vound et ta state,

Thit a battel wis vaut and tha Rooshins wis bate,

An tha day arter that, William Vlint wen ta town.

An com'd horn way tha ribbins aul vlying aroun ;

A chap ax'd 'n ta drink wance, ha zed a wis woilling,

An gied en a coin what ha cal'd tha Queen shuUing,

An es thort ta merzul as ha tell'd et ta Roger,

Thit et didd'n take murch vur ta make wan a sodger.

Now yu zee tho es cant raid ur rite vury murch,

Thit es veels aul about et za wul as the urch !

Es it true wat thay zay, thit tha Rooshins makes nort,

Vur ta boil down tha English and Vrench ta mak mort ?

A chap tole mer zo tother day, an zed that

Thay ait nort in ta wordel zept cannels an vat, —

Laur a macy, pursarve es ! jist vancy Will Wannel

A boil down like a baist an turn'd into a cannel !

Bit tha rais'n I vrites, Measter H., is to say —

Ivry week I'm a gwain ta put drippence away,

Vur ta take in a paper, zo if yume incline,

Ta resaive et zometimes, I'll jist drap 'ee a line,

Vur et may be as how es be able to shaw

A vew thing thit yer readers daunt happen ta naw.

If yu think et weth while, yu kin jist drap a wurd.

An I'll vrite thur immaydyet za glad as a burd ;

Way tha kendest rispeks, tho long I've a knewd 'ee,

I'll be yer most dootiful zarvant,

Jan Moody.

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS. 37

Plimmith ZiTADiL,! Tkcsdy nitc.

Deer Jan.

I zit mer doun to zay,
Thit wat I tole thur tother day

Tun'th out ta be kurrek ;
A Tuesdy nex (tha auder's com)
Us laives ; zo then ta zee mer horn
(If Bets 'lit let mer go herevrom),

Thee mayst uv kuse expek.

Bit vath ! tha maid hur tak'th on zo,
I dunnaw if I shill ur no,

Laive Plimmith thick same nite ;
Besaides, the money'th urn'd za zshort —
(Jist wan an eight — a figger a nort —
And nat a single skiddik bort)

Zo Bets mist mak et right.

* The above poem originally appeared under the title, " The
Drawing-room, the Kitchen, and the Barracks."

t Nathan's patriotic sentiments, as well as his versatility of
talent, are so well known to his friends, that they will hardly be
surprised to find he has devoted himself to the service of his
country.

X Poor Zogg, to whom a tender epistle, doing equal credit to
Nathan's head and heart, will be found among his published
letters, expired previous to 1847, through an over consumption of
green gooseberries. It is a matter of duty to allude to this affect-
ing circumstance, in order to show that Nathan's second engage-
ment did not take place until after years of sorrow for his early
love.

38 NATHAN HOGG'S LETTERS.

Deer Jan, I'm sorry to me hart
Vrim zodgerin again to part,

An go back drashing Caurn ;
Bezaides, the clothes be murch more vine-
I'm zshorely made ta cut a shine —
I'll join some Urdgmint in tha line,

Za zshore as I be baurn.

Laur ! if you uny cude bit zee

Tha vlink thits cuts be Bets an me

Wen us go'th out to wahlk ;
Civillins stare way all thare hyes,
An as es cut'th out droo Mount Wise,
(We two be purty murch wan size)

'Tis good ta hear min tahlk.

Tha maidens here be jillis, vath !
An hollith aiter's in tha path —

Wan zeth " huUaw me buck !
You 've got a hansom craiter now,
Hur vlap'th hur tail like our ole zow ;
An riggl'th like a Kursmis cow

An waddl'th like a duck !"

" Bit nivir mine," zes I ta Bets —

" No, Jan," zeth her, " sich highnint sets

Thay wishes thay wis me ! "
Zo aun es go'th — vur no wan wait —
An tridges droo strait arter strait
(Till Bets her dith git vairly bait),

Za big as iny dree.

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS. 39

Us rests a bit, an then go'th vore,
An then I zee'th her horn ta door —

Zom times es go'th in houze ;
Bit tidd'n anff'n es dith that,
Tha playshir idd'n weth a grat —
Thayd hear tha purdlin uv a cat,

Or squailing uv a mouze.

I niver shal vurgit, wan nite

Bets thort that every thing wis rite

An thit tha voks wis out ;
Zo vrim tha kitchen then es tares,
An on es went up auver stairs
Ta zee tha rooms (zich grand affairs),

An rammeld aul about.

Bim bye es com'd into a room —
(Zich tiddivation an perfoom —

Aw ! how et made mer stare !)
Bit laur ! es zoon com'd to a stap,
I railly thort I must a drap,
Vur thare was Missus in a nap,

Jist in tha haisy chair.

" My hyes ! " zes I es back es shet —
" Aw laur a macy ! " zing'd out Bet —

" Whose thare ? " tha Misses zed ;
" O plaize Mum — me," an in Bets went
(I winder that hur didd'n vent),
Zes hur, " plaise Mum I uny ment

To ax if you'm vur bed."

40 NATHAN HOGGS LETTERS.

Mainwhile I crayp'd out uv tha pleace —
(Aw ! if you had bit zeed me veace —

I wis in zich a stid) ;
Zo vrighten'd I've a niver bin,
I daunt think wen I zays'd ta rin,
That if you'd stik'd me way a pin

I raily shude a blid.

Wen ax'd inside (moast times) I zay
" I hant vurgot tha tother day —

Tha vright in wich I stood ; "
'Pin times I take a drap of beer
Wi jist a curst, bit theres zich veer,
Et makes mer veel za mortal queer,

An dith more harm thin good.

Bit dang et aul ! I'm riting aun
Till aul tha paper's moast agaun,

An cannel jist bum'd out ;
I doant think I kin keep'n in,
Bit praps by striking in a pin —
Iss! that'll do — zo I'll begin
An viinish wat I'm bout.

No vath I cant, the cannel's val'd,
An trying to mak'n bum I've scald

Two vingers an a thum ;
Ta scraly in tha dark es vain.
Bit Tuesday next I'll write again,
Vur then I shant be in zich pain,

Nur bothe me legs be num !

Nathan Hogg.

NATHAN Hogg's letters. 41

THE DRAWING-ROOM.

Oh Emily dear, I sit me down,

Tho' I can hardly see ;
My eyes and heart are drooping with

That dreadful thing — ennui;
What shall I do — oh dear, oh dear —

Whatever shall (!) I do—
I'll try to while an hour away

By writing, love, to you !

Well, first of all, I must premise

(How do I live to tell
The tale) we've lost our gallant beaux,

Whom all have loved so well ;
The gallant Devons they have gone —

To private life have fled;
Their military sun is set —

Deep gloom is overspread.

Excuse this sad funereal strain —

Their shadows 'tis that flit
Around my heart, oh Emily dear.

And haunt me where I sit, —
Aye, as I sit, or walk, or play.

They still come floating in,
O'erhanging all with sombre hue

That all so bright hath been.

42 NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS.

Where is the glad, familiar face

One daily used to greet —
Now on the Hoe, then at the Ball,

And ever in the street?
You recollect your favorite,

The handsome Captain B ?

Well, he has gone, and so as well

Has that dear Captain C ?

That thrilling voice I loved to hear

At Theatre and Ball,
That fell so sweetly on the ear

As song at even-fall.
Is still and hush'd — is heard no more-

(At least is hush'd to me,)
Oh Emily dear — oh Emiily love —

That dear, dear Captain C 1

Poor Fanny too — unhappy girl —

Her sand of joy is run,
She droopeth like a gentle flow'r

That pineth for the sun.
I seek to rally the dear girl,

And try each soft caress ;
But no (altho' he is not far,)

She weeps for Captain S .

But let me not distract your heart.
For you, dear girl, have known

The deep abiding joy that was
Around their presence thrown.

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS. 43

Oh, could I, sweet beloved friend,

Upon your bosom creep —
I cannot write — no, Emily, love,

I'm better fit to weep.

I feel, since they have left our halls,

As if all joy were fled ;
Our streets seem barren, and more like

A City of the Dead.
Oh, little knew they, when they left.

The spirits sad and true
That wish'd they could have (angel like !)

Been disembodied too.

Henrietta.

THE KITCHEN.

Good bye, dear Tummas ! once again-

Oh, claps me to yer heart ;
My heyes is drippin like a joint

To think that we must part ;
And must I never hear you more

Pool hat the hairy Bell ?
You'll never git a Kitchen more,

Like this — oh, fare you well !

Where will you get the little tits
That sarv'd for brekses mail ;

The bits of sugar and the tay,
The mutton, pork and vail ;

44 NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

Where will you git the roastin fat —
Sick perkisits to sell ? —

You'll never git the likes again —
Dear Tummas, fare you well !

Oh, could my hart but epen now,

And you could look inside ;
And see the fire that's burnin there —

That hart is almost fried.
Not my young missus who'th a fall'd

In love way Ensyn L

Lovs haf so true as I hav lov'd —

Oh, Tummas, fare you well !

Oh Tummas, dear, the more I look

On you — my heart gits fuller,
You beats, as young Miss Hemly ses, —

" That duck, that Cappen B ."

You have not got that Mustashoo

She ses so graceful curls —
Dear Tummas, if you had, I could

Not kiss you — no, for worls !

Oh, Tummas, 'tis a shame that he

Who'th sarv'd the Queen like you.
Should go back into private life

Wayout a single screw.
But never mind — here's three-an-nine,

Thet to my lot hath fell —
'Twill pay the train to Exeter,

Dear Tummas, fare you well !

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS. 45

But oh, my hart is breaking now,

Jist like poor Alice Gray ;
Like her I feels I cannot live

\Vhen you am far away,
Oh, when you walks behind the plow,

Once more in fustin drest,
Dear Tummas do remimber then,

The furra's in my brest.

Sally Spit.

Elja iatfle (Corps*

ExTER, June 26th, 1859.

Deer Jan,

Et be zed thit as zshore as a gun.
When tha King uv tha Vrench way tha Astrins ith dun,
Ha'll be boun ver ta keep aul es sawjers astur,
An in awder ta do et muss kom auver yur ;
Now aul I kin zay, if ha wull, let'n kom,
Et strik'th me ha'll vury zoon wish ha wis hom.
Bit en kase ha shude do zo may be yu've a yerd
Thit tha Quene ith gied awders an zent roun tha wurd,
Thit Corpses uv Rifles be vorm'd droo tha Ian,
An Exter 'th bin ax'd way tha rest to bare han.
Tha old zitty wis niver naw'd eet vur ta shurk,
An twis thort et wis best to at wance zit ta wurk.
Zo thay did, an deer Jan, I be vury murch plais'd,
Vur to zay thit a Corpse uv up aighty be rais'd ;
The' wy thay be cal'd zich a name, I can't tul,
An I think et ith puzzled miny mour then mezul ;

46 NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS.

Bit et dith zim ta me mortal quare, as I've zaid,

Ta cal min aul Corpses avaur thay be daid.

I ax'd up ta Castle a chap stannin bye,

An ha zed 'twis becuz thit thay'd vight till thay die;

Bit laur arter aul there beant murch in a name,

An wativer yu cal min thay'U vight jist tha zame.

Wul I went up last Mundy ta zee, if I cude,

Tha vust zort uv hexercise-like thit wis dood ;

I thort I wis late, but I gied a gude rin,

An kom'd jist in time vur ta zee min begin.

Thare wis ole men, an yung men, an zom awmin lads,

I shude think about aighty, sar'd out in dree squads ;

An a sargent, ur wat a wass, passeld ta aich, —

Praps tha vewer thare be, tha moor aisy ta taich.

Deer Jan, yu hant niver zeed zawjers ta drull,

Zo I'll gie thur a hinsite intoot if yu wull.

Now tha vust thing I yer'd tha kimmander a callin,

Wis vur aul awmin thare vur ta turn ta an " val in ; "

An zes I ta mezul zee how things kom about,

Thare'd no need ta val in, if voolz didn't val out.

Wul tha nex thing thay dood wis ta holler out " Dress ! "

Hullop I to mezul vur zoftly I zess,

An I thort I shude railly a laflf'd mezul hose,

Vur I vancid thay aul wis vur changin thare close,

Eet I thort to mezul as I look'd aul about,

Thay mit jist as wul dood et avaur thay kom'd out ;

I made a mistake, zo et zim'd, bit no hurt,

Wat thay main'd wis ta vetch up a little bit zmurt.

Then thay cal'd out "Attenshin ! " maining Tlark wat I zay —

" Stand at aise ! " — daunt 'ce put yerzul out a tha way ;

An wen thay'd a put min droo a vorm ur tu moar,

They zess " As you was," wich es Stan like bevaur ;

Wul then twis " Left Vace " — and " Right Vace " arter that.

NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS. 47

Jist as if thit two vaces wis under wan hat ;

Arter that " Right about," an I thort zo, thinks I,

That's tha moove us'll taich Measter Vrenchy bim bye,

WuU then tha went ballancin tap a wan voot,

Twis a winder ta me how tha dooce thay cud doot ;

I tried et mezul wen I got hom thic night,

But zom how or tother I cud'n doot vright —

I spose I shuv'd wan a me veet too var out,

Vur I vai'd an resayv'd a moast turrabul clout ;

Thay cals et tha " Goose stap " vur a bit uv a meg,

Cuz thic bird es za clivir ta stan pin wan leg.

Then twis slow time, an quick time, an quick march an zlow ;

•'' March in vile," wich in kuse yu cant possabul naw ;

Wull I'll tull'ee — tis walkin wan arter another,

Za close thit wan leg git'th inzide a tha tother,

How thay dood et za wull, I cant vury wull zay,

Bit tha tother chaps hoofs wid be murch in me way.

Wull, then thay had aup'n an close viling too.

And a girt many anticks no use ta vrite you,

Bit I yerd a ole sawjer whose able ta tull,

Zay thay did thare minoovers moast cabical wull.

Bit want min veel prowd, wen bim bye thay be let,

Ta hav powder an bal, an be tole vur ta — " Shet ! "

Bit talkin a shettin, I've yerd et a told,

Tis wan tha moast winderful zights ta behold ;

An thit if a mile auff pin a geat yu shude zit,

Thay kin nack thur, 'tis zed, down za daid as a nit,

In vack, I'm a tole, if a chap cude be zeed.

Wan cude stan pin Ex Bride, an hat'n down out ta Ide ;

An vurder thin that, a chap zed thay cude shet,

Roun a corner be shakin tha trigger a bit ;

An that wance an ole dumman, droo Kenton did pass,

An was hat be a chap thit vired straight ta Starcrass.

48 NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS.

If that be tha case, tho' I zim twis es chaff,

Ta me it zims dahngerous (vath) ta be saff.

What a differns, deer Jan, wen es used ta go out,

An up in dree akers git shettin about ;

Wat a differns, I zay, in tha guns thi'ts made now —

Way ours wis good viring to shet crass tha mow ;

As vur veefty yards auff, or vorty, laur drab et !

Yu mit teake a moas tender varwull uv a rabbit.

Laur Jan ! how I be urning aun ta be zshore,

I've a vill'd up me paper, an' can't vrite no moar —

Ees I kin (else I cud'n a vinish'd a tal) —

A vew lines pin tha endilope praps I kin scral ;

Vury vew it muss be tho, an now me deer Jan,

Yu zee wat thay'm doing aul droo out tha Ian.

Now uv kuse aul tha kripples, an blind, an like thet,

They cant be expected ta march ur ta shet ;

Bit thay who kin 'vord it, I think shude be boun,

If thay cant do nort else, ta come out way thare poun.

Et kausts iv'ry wan awm, vury close, dree poun ten,

Wich kant be avorded be miny yung men.

If ole voks git purtected an sav'd aul tha trubble,

If thay can, thay should aul awmin vork out es dubble,

I menshun this yer, aul I zay es " zo be et,"

I kin uny zay vurder, I haup I shill zee et.

Ta vrite thur zom moar I shude ha no objeckshin.

Bit I shant ha no rume vur ta vrite tha direckshin,

An me vinger's jist like tha hind leg uv a dogg —

Crook'd up v/ay tha cramp. Vrim yer brither,

N. Hogg.

NATHAN HOGG'S LETTERS. 49

Eija ©Itr l^uniman toag tfja ®[rlj CloJte;

UR

Eija (!Bbil (JBge.

A WITCH STORY.

Et wis Kursmis Eve, how et znaw'd ta be zure !
An tha win wissel'd droo tha kayhaul uv tha door,
Wen Varmer Jan Vaggis, an Vrends, wis a zot
A zmoakin thare backy, an zoopin thare pot ;
Aul wis silent wayout, 'zept tha noys uv tha trees.
An tha znaw, in zom pairts, wis up auver yer nees.
Wile a quack ur a grint mit be yer'd droo tha zleet,
2. if tha ducks an tha pigs ad got cole in thare veet :
Bit nat zo way Jas Vaggis — es darter Mariar
Ad a shuv'd tha ash-vacket pin tap uv tha viar,
An wat way tha zmal stiks za wul as tha blocks,
Et raich'd ta tha crook ware thay hang up tha crocks.
Thare thay zot, an tha blaze thit shet out vrim tha sticks,
Play'd an vlicker'd like zinlight pin tap uv thare chik's.
An Will Stump, who'd a inklin vur kuartin tha darter,
Look'd an zimper'd an drade up es eyes quite therearter,
While hur, that is wile in wan place hur'd remain,
Drade sheeps-eyes ta he vore an backurd agane,

50 NATHAN HOGGS LETTERS.

Wul tha licker went roun, an thay hadd'n zot long,

Wen Jan Vaggis cal'd out pin Rab Vinch vur a zong,

Zo ha kaufF'd wance ur twice an then pitch'd auff tha kay

An vur bout haf a nower wiz toonin away,

Til tha hood znap'd an crack'ld an sparks shet aroun.

An wan awmin drap'd pin Jin Vaggis's gown ;

Now et wadd'n obsarv'd till et burn'd nearly droo

Nat uny hur gown bit her undercoat too,

An ole Jinny wis zidd'n stap'd zshort in hur laf.

Wen hur voun thare wis zummat seal hot to hur caf.

My hivers ! hur zot too an holler'd an skritch'd,

An Jan Vaggis zing'd out — " Laur a macy ! hurs witched,"

Zo es thort twis tha case, as hur jump'd aul about,

Till hur holler'd out " Viar ! Aw, stiffle et out ! "

An away urn'd Tarn Chidley, Urch Mugvurd, Rab Vinch,

Vur ta bring in zom wotter, tha burnin ta quinch ;

Bit Jan an Mariar (tho' thay wadd'n long 'bout et)

Way tha ale in tha kwart, ad a manijed ta doubt et ;

An Jinny ta last wis a got auff aul saf

That, uv kuse, es exzeptin tha seal in hur caf : —

Wat a macy et was tho, as ivry wan zeth,

Thit tha old humman wadd'n a skaldid ta deth !

Wul thay zot roun agane, an thay vill'd up tha kwarts,

An tha yet an tha drink zim'd ta warm up thare harts —

Aul exzeptin Jan Vaggis, who zot back behind,

As if ha'd got zummit pin tap uv es mind ;

Till Mariar zeth — " Vather ! way why do'ee zit

Za var back ? way et dith'n look zoshil abit ! "

Then Jan Vaggis zot vorid, saying " Harkee ta me !

I kinfess thit zomhow cruel nanus I be.

An when Moather thare holler'd, twis exzack like a skritch

I wance yer'd vrim a Humman they zed wis a Witch ;

Now I cant zay hur iver dood me iny harm.

NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS. 51

Bit I naw zom pin worn hur wance work'd out hur charm,

Zo if you'll be quiet — let's drink drap a ale —

I'll try ta raymimber zom pairts uv tha tale."

Arter drinkin an dra-ing es zleeve wance acrass

Es mowth, ta es Missus tha licker ha pass,

Then ha took up es pipe, an ha kauflf'd aufF tha hoce,

An zeth Varmer Jan Vaggis — " Wull hark'n now, zo's "

An wen thit ha zeed "es had pass'd roun tha cup,

Ha begun'd jist as vollers, es tale ta tuU up : —

JAN VAGGIS'S TALE.

Zom yurs ago, I need'n stap
Ta tull tha wen, ole Nanny Tap
Liv'd out ta Baw, a mortal plat
Vur witches an tha likes a that.
Now, auver this old humman's haid
A hundred j-urs ad pass'd, twis zaid ;
Ta zee hur, iny wan wid zim
Hur was za old's Methusalim.
Now Nanny Tap wis cruel pairt.
An aw ! hur dress — I've zeed hur wair't-
Likewise hur looks an kooryis ways,
Wis like wat 'twas in oulden days: —
Hur cloke was urd, hur bunnet black,
Way hood aul urnin down hur back.
An then hur kar'd a humberul
Wid cover aight besides hurzul ;
As vur tha hannel uv tha stick,
Twis sharper thin a aigles bick,
An Nanny's nauze an hannel too
Look'd redy vur ta urn thur droo.

52 NATHAN HOGGS LETTERS.

Bit talk uv vaityers, aw my laur !

• Yu niver zeed zich veace avaur;
Et was za long, and yeller too,
Way rinkels urnin rite down droo.
As if a picksy way es plow

Had took et vur a barley mow.
An work'd et too'n avore, agin
Ha com'd ta zaw tha barly in ;
An aul tha pitmarks in hur chaps
Zim'd like tha picksy's hosses' staps.
An then hur ad a Evil eye,
Thit if pin wan hur did let vly
A zingle glimpse, ha cud'n stan,
An zshore ta be a rooin'd man,
An day by day ta meet way harm,
Wayout her took'd away tha charm.
Hur eye wis green, jist like a cat.
And glimmer'd like — I dunnaw wat,
Bit when hur haupen'd min ta vew
Ha zim'd ta shet thur droo an droo.
An tap an toe yude veel a stitch
Thit cud'n com 'zept vrom a witch.
Wul if yude go into hur room
Laur jay ! yu niver wat perfoom !

• Aul roun tha wals, pin tap a barbs,
Yude zee bags arter bags uv harbs
Thit Nanny used ta boil an stew,
Thereway hur witchin things ta doo.
Zom times hur'd doo a vrendly deed
Ta zom poor yokes in time a need,
But if yude put hur out thay way
Yu wid be zshore ta rue tha day, —
Ur if yu cude and wadd'n wullin

NATHAN HOGGS LETTERS. 53

Ta gie hur, when hur ax'd, a shulling ;
But as hur cude doo bad an gude
I'll tuU thur zom hur hath a dood.
Now if thee'dst got a prickle in
Thee leg, a inch vrim auf tha skin,
Hur'd murch en down an zay a prare,
An then thee wiss'n ha min thare ;
Ur if pin tap a thorn yu zot,
An in tha vleshy pairt ha got,
Bevaur hur zed dree Avurds yu voun
Tha varmint craypin zlowly down ;
Ur zay thit yude a got a vit —
Jist gie ole Nan a dripmy bit,
Hur'd put'n tap hur eye an zay
" I zee tha irubble gwain away,"
An zshores a gun, away ha'd vly
Like vapper droo a zummer sky.
Bit Laur a macy pin tha chap
Thit wid ofvend ole Nanny Tap !
Hur'd trubbl'n in tha daid a nite
Way stitch an cramp, an zore avright,
An wen ha'd strik a match zom wan
Wid zim ta hat'n vrom es han;
Ur if ha'd got tha cannel in
Zummat wid blaw min out agin ;
An then hur'd pinch tha zsheep an cows,
And make min turn about tha mows.
An niver wance wid let min stap
Till way furtig irt down thay'd drap ;
An then hur'd kar aun purty rigs
Among tha vowls an ducks an pigs ; —
Vur hinstins, hur wid dra a lite
Upon tha roost at daid a night.

54 NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

An make tha cocks believe therevrom
Thit stid a nite, Cockleert wis com,
An thare thay'd zit, an tuck an craw,
Till thay ad skace got breth to draw ;
An wen tha ducks a brood wis zot,
Hur'd make tha eggs za mortal hot,
Thit down thay'd squat an niver vail,
Pore crayturs, vur ta seal thare tail ;
And then tha litt'l pigs wid zook.
An twinjy in tha jaws wis took.
An then pore things thay'd vume an vret,
An bite rite droo tha ole zow's tet,
Till hur, pore thing, wid git za zore,
As nat ta let m.in zook no moar,
Zo thit, poor cayturs, down thay'd lie,
Git thin, an pine irt auff an die.
Zomtimes hur'd ha zom other Vvfays,
An make tha beddin zwarm way vlays,
Thit wid tha litt'l childern bite
An make min bal an squal aul nite ;
Zomtimes hur'd make tha pudd'n dance.
An zomtimes vrom tha crock ha'd prance,
An wen ta git min back thay'd strive
Ha'd kik an pool, as if alive.
Wul then hur'd tu tha ziller stray.
An let tha zyder urn away.
Bit, stranger still, if }Tjde bit taste
Tha licker thit ad urn'd ta waste,
'Twis walk as wotter — when hur'd titch'd
Tha licker ivry drap wis witch'd ;
Zom zed tha zyder wis a took,
Ta gie hur sweetheart, be tha cook.
And jist ta make as if urn'd out

NATHAN HOGGS LETTERS. 55

Hur'd drade zom watter aul about;

Bit twadd'n zo, vur ivry day

Twis proov'd tha Missus keep'd tha kay.

Bit Laur ! I hant a tole thur haf,

A zom tha things wid make thur laf ;

Vur hinstins, wan ole cat'd a got

Up veefty kittens in a lot.

An in tha nite wen thay wis drown

Tha awful'st squal wis yer aroun

Tha houze, an out in mucks and dirt

Urn'd Dan'l Bittle in es shirt,

Wen lo tha veefty cats he zaw

Way skins za whit as draivin znaw,

Zo in ha urn'd an shet tha door

An did'n look, thic nite, no moar ;

An ivry nite, up vule a week,

Thay'd com an dance an squail an squeak ;

Ta last ha went ta Nanny Tap,

An drawd a shullin in hur lap,

(Th' old humman niver was the wan

Ta take tha munny in hur han)

An arter that tha squals did zayce.

An Dan'l Bittle zlayp'd 'n payee.

Bit thaize be little things compeard

Way thicky tale you ant a yeard.

Bit vust uv aul, Jan Vaggis zeth.

Less stap a minnit an vetch breth ;

I'm dry, just chucked — a drap a ale,

I'll then purseed ta tul me tale.

Now havin drink'd and vetch'd es wind
Ha gied a kauff an thus begin'd : —
Wan Varmer Plant, I nawd'n wul.
An yer'd tha vury Hps awn tul

56 NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS.

Tha tale thit naw I tul ta yu,

An wat ha zed I naw wis tni.

A longful time this Nanny Tap

Wis cauzin hee zom zore mishap,

An pin tha Varm, be day nur nite,

No zingle thing wil go aun vright.

Wan day ha yerd thit hur wis zick —

Zo bad hur cud'n live a wick —

An ha'd a yerd thit if ha did,

Avaur hur dide, jist let hur blid,

If twas uny way a pin,

Hur cudd'n trubble min agin.

Wul auf ha went ta Nanny's houze,

An up ha stalk'd za zofts a mouze,

Then in ha went ta ware hur lay,

An zed ha'd brort a litt'l tay- -

Tha quantity wis rayther zmal —

Ha hup'd hur'd live ta drink et al.

Ole Nanny look'd — twas aul hur zed —

An haup'd hur mowth an drade hur haid,

An then hur hold'n out hur han —

Ha auft ta took et like a man ! —

Instid uv wich ha took'd tha pin

An quick as litnin shet'n in.

My hivers ; up th' old humman zot

An shet out glimpses, viery hot,

An when hur voun hur cud'n raich,

Hur manijed ta vetch back her spaich; —

Hur zwared thit if hur pass'd hur dore

Alive, ha shude naw payee no more,

An, if hur dide, hur wid com back

An make tha boans awn cramp an crack ;

Hurd rat es sheep, hur'd milk es cows.

NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS. 57

Hur'd turn things up'ndown in's houze,

Hur'd scare es pigs, es ducks, and vowls

Hur'd gie es zmal birds ta tha owls —

In vack hur'd doo min ivry harm ;

Ha shuden prosper tap es varm.

An then hur gied tha awfulst cuss,

Ole Nick es zul cude zed no wuss.

Wul varmer Plant ha veelid, tho,

As if ha'd gie tha word'l ta go,

Bit no, ha cud'n budge a stap.

An veel'd as tho ha must a drap,

Vur till ole Nan ad din her 'buse

Hur took gude care ta witch es shoes ;

Bit aul ta wance hur gied a quirk.

An then tha charm ad zaysed ta work, —

Hur rap'd hurzul up in hur cloke

An nat another wurd hur spauk.

Wul varmer Plant, direck ha voun

Es shoes let go, jist gied a boun,

An out a doors ha then did rin

Avaur cude zay Jack Rabinsin,*

An horn ha went an niver stap'd

Wile doun es veace, tha zwet et drap'd

Za big es pays, til doun ha zot

An way es Misses cozey got,

Who drade hur harms es neck aroun

An humman like zune camd'n doun ;

An havin drade a joog a ale

Hur got th' ole man ta tul tha tale ; —

Way thick me vrends I need'n paur

* A mythical personage, supposed to be distantly related to
"Miles' Boy."

^8 NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS.

Cuz es hav tole min vvance avaur ;

Zuffice et thit zune arter this

Ole Nanny graw'd a girt dail wis,

An vury zune gied up and dide,

Being burry'd be hur ole man's zide.

Thare's wan thing now — I'm vaur me tale-

(Jan Vaggis took'd a zoop a ale,

An havin shet a glimpse aroun

Ha let es voice drap zoffly down

Ta zich a crewel quiet pitch) —

Thare's wan thing shaw'd hur was a witch ;

Thic Old Urd Cloke, hur used ta ware.

That nite hur dide wis tap tha chare,

An tho tha winders an tha dore

Wis shet up tight, hur com'd ees zshore !

An Cherry Hares, zune arter wan.

Went down tha vullidge vur hur man,

Wen way a w-z-z-z, a strake a urd

Rish'd by hur nauze, za vleet's a burd.

An leff behind et zich a zmul,

Hur wad'n vur zom time hurzul.

Ees zoce an zshores a gun hurd com

Thic nite ta kar hur Urd Cloke hom.

(As Jan zed this es voyce did ya\

An zend a shidder droo min al).

Wul then zeth he ta cut et zshort

(Vur I raymimber moar'n I thort).

Dree months ur moar away id pass'd.

An varmer Plant ha thort ta last,

An too es nayburs gin ta tul,

Ha'd zettled ole Nan purty wul ;

Bit Laur a macy ! twadd'n long

Avaur ha voun thit ha wis vrong.

NATHAN HOGGS LETTERS. 59

Wan nite ha adbeen out ta spend

A hour ur two jist way a vrend, —

Tis tru a drap a groog ha'd ad,

Bit eet a wadd'n auver bad,

Ur else et mit be zed as how

Ha did'n zee nort in tha mow.

Wul aun ha went a little wile.

An zune got past tha zekond stile,

(I shude a zed thit droo tha mows

Wis girt dail nearer to es howze).

Wen aul ta wance, aw Laur ! ha zaw

Tha hosses urning to an vravv ;

Thare yers wis prick'd, thare tails acrass,

Tha sheep wis rollin in tha grass,

Bit wat made Jan tha moast avraid

Wis wan cow stannin tap hur haid,

Wile, lite as vethers, tap tha groun

Zix pigs wis dancin aul aroun.

(Here Rabin Vinch whose haid ad zunk

Look up an zeth — " Bit wadd'n ha drunk ? "

Bit varmer Vaggis tap es stool

Jist tum'd es haid, an zed, " Yu vool ! ! " —

Ha vury quickly zettled hee

An sard'n as ha auft ta be.*)

Wul — Vaggis zeth — as aun ha scral'd,

Irt auver zummat zart ha val'd.

An up ha got an ruckeyd doun

Ta zee wat twas pin tap tha groun,

* This insinuation deserved to be scouted. The probability
of; the circumstance, and the improbability of Farmer Plant
seeing at any rate more than double, should have convinced
the most obtuse.

6o NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS.

Wen thare hur lide, a pin me wurd —

Ole Nan rap'd in hur Cloke a Urd.

Wul varmer Plant I've yerd'n zay,

Wis gally'd zo, ta urn away

Ha cud'n ; an as ta jump a yurdle,

Ha cud'n do et vur tha wurdle,

Bit zshortly, in tha dimpse a nite,

Ha zeed tha vigger zit uprite,

Wen aul ta wance ha voun es veet,

An then no race-hoss was za vleet ; —

Aun, aun, ha urn'd, bang auver stiles,

An vancied thit es houze wiz miles,

An way tha vleetness uv es peace

Tha zwet wis streemin doun es veace.

An aun ha went an niver stap'd

Till horn ha com'd, wen doun a drap'd,

An in a vit vur how'rs ha lide

Thit aul awm thort ha must ha dide.

Thay rubd'n up an rubd'n doun,

An hang'd es haid tawards tha groun,

In auder thit tha blid et mit

Rin vrim es haid up droo es veet ;

They rub'd es bully an es back,

An then thay'd gie es nauze a wack,

Ur siddenly thay'd make en stoop,

An gie min jist a wisterpoop — ■

Bit no, in spite uv aul cude doo,

Thay cud'n bring tha ole man too:

Wen aul ulse vail'd thay mooved tha sheet,

An way a strawmaut tick'ld es veet.

Wen aul ta wanct ha skritch'h out " stap !

Aw law hurs com'd — tis ole Nan Tap ! "

An then ha gied zich dredvul groans.

NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS. 6l

Moast loud anuf ta rise tha stoans —

Ees ! louder var than ole Zam Gully

Wen wance tha gooseburry's grip'd es bully.

Wul wen thay zed hur wadd'n thare,

An zmooth'd es veace, an much'd es hair —

Ha haup'd es eyes, an then ha told

Tha vrightvul zight ha had behold ;

An zed thit tvvas aul up way hee

An payee ha niver moar shude zee.

Bit here et mit be right to stap,
An zay as how a zaujer chap
Pass'd droo tha vullidge, in tha day,
An zom wis vools anuf ta zay
Thit ha got drunk tha night bevaur,
An thit thay'd bet a aiven skaur
Thit, drunk, into tha mow ha scral'd,
An auver hee, twas, Jan Plant val'd ;
An zed, ta make thair tale aul rite.
Ha zed ha'd zleep'd thare aul thic nite ; —
Thit twadd'n zo wis proov'd doun vlat
Be wat took place zune arter that.

Jan Vaggis stap'd to vetch es breath,
Wich havin dood, as vollers zeth : —
Wul, zshore anuf, a Vridy mom,
(This wis a Thesdy) aul vurlorn,
Up com tha maid, in zic a vright,
Ta zay thit jist avaur twis light,
Hur went tha butter vur ta chum,
Bit nat a hinch tha thing wid turn ;
Hur drade an shuv'd, both vore an back,

62 NATHAN HOGGS LETTERS.

Bit no ! tha thing ha widd'n zlack,

An as hur went ta turn about,

A wifF blaw'd zlap tha cannel out :

Hur manijed, in a awful vright,

Ta grope aul aup tha zeckond vhght.

An as hur pass'd tha vowerth stair

Hur zaid hur yer'd tha wurd, " beware ! "

Wul vath tha maid ad harly din,

Avaur Will Vlint com vustlin in

Ta zay (with zich a thindrin rap),

Tha hosses wid'n moove a stap ;

Ha'd tride be kik, an jit, an nudge,

Bit nat a zingle wan wid budge,

An wen ha zed " wat want'ee go ? "

Ha zwared tha whit boss hanser'd " no ! "

Zo arter that nat wan ha tich'd.

Being zartin thit thay aul wis witch'd.

Wul droo tha day — ees I'll be shot ! —

Tha later twas tha wiss et got.

An vaur tha nite ole Nanny's charm

Wis wurkin ivry pairt tha varm,

An zoon tha stock kar'd aun thare vlings

Be dooin moast unnate-ril things;

Vur hinstins dree wole broods a chicks —

I think in aul up twenty zix —

Irt bang into tha milpond chucks,

An rally thort thit thay wis ducks.

An zeb'n ur aight wis uny vound

Out uv tha lot, the rest wis drown'd ;

Tha ole mare drauv hur colt away

An let tha cav zook haf the day

Wile auf tha colt wid urn an draw

Hiszul rite in tha tetty traw.

NATHAN HOGG'S LETTERS. 63

As if ha thort thare was a chance
Ta end es trubbles aul ta wance.
Wan day tha dog jist gied a kauff
An to tha stump, es tail bite auff ;
As vur tha cat up stairs hur'd gaun
An put tha yung cheel's nightcap aun,
An bout a vortnit arter that
Ad kittens in ole Jan Plant's hat, —
Aw macy me ! ta zit an tul
Wan haf yude be bezide yerzul.
Bit jist ta zum up aul tha lot —
Tha pigs pin tap tha ducks eggs zot,
Wile thay, pore things, away wid vly
And make thare kwarters in tha sty;
Tha bosses widd'n zaw nur plow;
Cud git no zense vrim cav nur cow ;
Tha mill wid stap way aul es mite,
Tho' aul the wotter urn'd aun rite;
Tha Jackasses aul uv a heep,
Wid zing out awful in thare zleep —
In vack nat wan escap'd tha charm
Thit wurk'd upon Jan I'lantes varm.
Wul this went aun, ees vath et did!
Till cud'n be stood be vlesh an blid ;
Nite arter nite, day arter day,
Tha things wid pine, vur weeks away,
An aut thit vamer Jan wid try
Zim'd bit ta make min vaster die.
Outzide ha'd hang a bosses shoe
Wich in moast cases zshore ta do.
Bit no ! hur did'n care a rap,
Et cud'n scare ole Nanny Tap,
An then ha'd got a bulliks hart,

64 NATHAN HOGG'S LETTERS,

An shuv into tha tender part,

A lot a pins — twis niver naw'd

Ta vail avaur — twis munny draw'd

I'rt bang away, vur nat a rap

Vur bulliks harts cared Nanny Tap !

Wul arter tryin aul ha cude,

An nothing thit ha'd din ad dude

Wan day ha zed unto es wive —

" Et zims thit es shall niver thrive,

Wat in tha word'l kin es doo,

I cant tul ort, now Bets kin you ? "

Then up hur spauk — zeth hur " wul Jan !

I hav a yerd thit thares a man,

A whit-witch cal'd, in Exter Toun,

An if you gie min bit a crown,

Ha'l tull thur how, ha es za cliver,

Ta draive ole Nanny Tap vur iver."

Zeth he " then Bets, jist cal in Rob,

An tell'n ta wance to zaddle Bob —

I'll go, za zshore as my name's Jan,

An gie a crown ta thicky man."

Wul Rob wis reddy vury zune,

(Tha airly pairt uv tha vaurnoon)

Zo auff ha went, trat, trat, trat, trat.

Way mucks tha boss's bully scat.

An vath ha took bit little while

A ridin in thic zixteen mile —

Vur Bob eszul wis awful titch'd.

An went jist like a hoss a witch'd.

When inta Exter ha'd a got

Ta maister Tuckitt's vore ha zot ;

Ha ring'd tha bul, tha messidge zent,

Pool'd auff es hat, an in ha went.

NATHAN HOGG'S LETTERS. 65

An zeed a vuUer in a room

Thit zim'd in zich a vret an vume !

Ha zed ha'd lost a cav and cow,

And com'd in thare ta naw as how,

Vur Measter T., at litt'l cost,

Had auff'n vound tha things ha'd lost ; —

An wat mit be (zo ax'd tha man)

Tha arrant thare uv Varmer Jan?

Then up n auff ha tole how hard,

Be ole Nan Tap, ha had bin sar'd,

An tole et aun till, vath ha zend

Tha vuUer's hair rite up'n end,

An as Jan's kase wis murch tha wust.

Ha'd let min zee tha whit-witch vust.

Bim bye, close by, thare ring'd a bul,

A zarvant then com'd out ta tul

Tha witch wis reddy, in Jan gose,

Jist pool'd es hair, zed how do zo's,

When lo ! a vigger vore did stap —

Pin tap es haid a hairy cap ;

Es hair wis zich a cruel vright —

Twis zom aw't yeller, zom aw't white, —

An then tha clcke ha wared aroun

Wis black, an drappin ta tha groun.

In vack tha zight aun, et wis zich

Ta shaw et wance ha was a witch.

Wul suddenly ta Jan's alarm,

Tha whit-witch zes " I naw tha charm ! "

An zed, vaur Jan cude zay a wurd,

" Tis ole Nan Tap— tha Cloke a Urd ; "

Ha wink'd es eye — zed " Raw, ra, ree,*

• Mystical ■words understood only by those who have proved
their efficacy.

66 NATHAN HOGG'S LETTERS.

I'll wurk a charm ta tackle she ; " —
Aul Jan cude doo, in zich a stid,
Wis valter out " ha haup'd ha wid."
Wul aun thay talk'd a longful time
Jan ad zom zyder — vath twis prime-
An tho' tha whit-witch up'n told
Moast ivry thing Jan ad behold.

Now yer et mit'n be out tha way,
Ta menshin wat zom asses zay :
Be nawnort voks et hath bin told,
Thit thick thare chap thit Jan behold,
Who zed es kase wis murch tha wust.
An thit ha mit go in tha vust,
Wis nothin moar'n tha witch's man,
Put thare ta draw things out a Jan;
An thit twis bit a papem wal,
Zo thit tha witch cud yer et al,
An, wen Jan enter'd tother dore,
Cude tul min aul ha'd naw'd avaur; —
Let children talk zich stuff ta school ! —
Dee think Jan Plant wis zich a vool ? —
Yer Riar — 'nother kwart a ale,
An then less git back too tha tale.

Tha qwart wis brort, Jan vill'd es pipe,
Zeth — when ha'd gied es nauze a wipe —
Wul as I zed, they talk'd anour.
An then tha timepeace warn'd vur vour ;
Then vrom Jan Plant tha crown ha took'd

NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS. 67

An gied zom things, like stoans thay look'd,

Tide in a bag ; zes he, now tek

An hitch min up aroun yer nek.

An zay this prare — " Depart, oh witch,

Likewise depart aul other zich " —

Then sprink som wotter vrim a bucket.

An zay, " I doot in name uv Tuckit ; "*

Bit, honest like, ha zed twis chance,

If ha cude draive Nan aul tu wance.

Bit if, bim by, Jan vree wis voun.

Ha widd'n, praps, mind another poun.

A pound, zed Jan, Way if thee'st drive

Hur clain rite auff, I'll gie thur vive !

Agreed zed he, jist gie's yer han

I'll bet I draive hur — vive ta wan :

A Zaterday nite hurs zshore ta com,

Vur Zindays, m.ind, hur must stay horn,

Zo harken now an es shill zee

Wich es tha girt witch, hur ur me.

Ha tole min then, next Zaterday nite,

Ta shuv up in tha chimly, tight,

A vacket a hood, ur aiv'n two

If thit ha voun wan widd'n do ;

An then ha was ta zay a prare

Zo as ta bring th'ole humman thare ;

Zes he be punkel — haf pas zix —

I'll put th'ole humman in a vix ;

I'll stay horn yer an work a charm —

Hur niver shill doo thur vurder harm.

* There is alwaj's p» charm in simplicity of expression, and
the present exorcism is only a greater proof of the white-
witch's power.

68 NATHAN HOGG'S LETTERS.

Zo var zo good zes Vaggis I think
I'll wet tha wissel way drap a drink —
Zo ha had another zoop a ale,
Avaur kintinnying es tale.

Waree was I zo's ? aw, now I zee
Tha pairting uv tha witch and hee !
Wul hom Jan went, an strange to zay,
A vew hours when ha'd gone away —
About tha time wen hee zot doun
Way Measter T. in Exter toun —
Things mended hom and, tho nat rite,
Went purty vair til Zaterday nite ; —
Ha bit dree times wis cal'd ta scare,
Ole Nanny auff way zayin tha prare.
Wul 'bout tha hour tha whit-witch zed,
Tho too tha time ha look'd way dred.
Ha went ta kuart ta vetch tha hood,
Instid uv wich wats think ha dood ? —
Way stid uv hood ha brot hom Vuz
An shuv'd et up tha chimly, cuz
Ha'd yer'd thit wayout boans ur skin
A witch cude veel tha prick'ls in ;
An vurdermoar ha then did stik
Up droo, a sharp two-vorkid pick —
Thort he, " ole gal I've got thur now,
Za zshores tha tail pin my old zow."
Wul Jan Plant then begind ta pray,
An hadd'n got no moar'n haf way.
When lo ! ha yerd a zort a rap
As if twis pin tha chimly tap,
An aul ta wance a awful voyce,

• NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS. 69

Ha yer'd, an makin zich a noyse !

Zes he " wul Bets — my eyes hurs com I

Poosh aup tha dore lets vlee herevrom,"

An vaur ha zed another wurd,

Scat bang down tap tha vuz ha yer'd

A hevy val, an zich a skritch

Thit uny cud com vrim a witch.

Wul auf ha urn'd, his wive um'd too,

Out in tha kuart ta hid vrim vew,

Wen aul ta wance, out vrim tha dore,

Thay zeed a vigger urnin vore,

Way Cloke a Urd, an Eye a vlame,

An uming too moast cruel lame,

An as et went out droo, tha vowls

An ducks an pigs zot up zich howls; —

Tha moar thay ball'd, wayout a turn,

Tha vaster did tha ole twad urn.

Zes Jan, " look Bets ! " " Ees ! Ees ! " hur zeth,

Jist hole yer bal, and bate yer breth,

Way, tho hur es a gone za vur,

I'll steak me davy et be hur !

Wul thare thay waited vule a nower,

Ta moove a stap thay skace had power,

Till Bets zeth " Jan ! " " Ees Bets ! " zeth he—

Shuv out yer han, lets veel where be !

I veel'n, " zeth hur ! " hurs out a zight

I think es mit go> in aul rite.

Wul out went Jan, an arter'n Bet,

An as acrass the kuart thay shet,

Thay veel'd, ta use thare vury wurds,

Thare blid aul kurdled into kurds,"

Bit bothe awm still keep'd uming vore.

Till in thay got an shet tha dore ;

7© NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

An then, aw laur ! way wat zurprise
Thay zeed tha zight thit meet thare eyes.
Thare wis tha vuz down tummird zlap —
Hur must a hat hurzul a wap !
As vur tha pick both vorks wis rid,
Aul bout tha taps way lots a blid.
Zeth Jan, " way Bets," and looked avresh,
I thort this uny com'd vrim vlesh !
Bit Bets hur zed hur'd yerd avaur,
Uv spurrits cover'd aul way gaur ;
An Jan zed wen ha come ta luke
He ad a raid zo in a buke.
Zeth he, " wul now es need n vret ! "
Hur'd niver com again ha'd bet ;
An, if ha liv'd ta zee tha day,
Ta-marra ha'd go in an pay —
Ees ! pay wi joy — tha munny down,
Vur thicky man desarv'd vive poun,
Thit cude purvent zich zore mishap,
An scare a witch like Nanny Tap.
Wul, having vust let in tha dog,
Thay made tharezuls a drap a grog,
Then up thay went to baid aul right
An niver waked up vur tha night.
Et may be ax'd ware was tha maids
An thay ? way aul was in thare baids —
Tha whit-witch zed thit uny two
Mist wurk tha thing, ur twidd'n doo.

Next day Jan went ta Exter toun
Ta pay tha witch tha munny down,
An wen ha com ha ring'd tha bul,

NATHAN HOGGS LETTERS. 71

An yerd tha whit-witch wadd'n wul ;

A stranger twas tha haup'd tha door,

Tho Jan Plant zim'd thay'd meet bevaur

An vur tha minnit thort as how

Ha zeed tha man thit lost tha cow ;

Bit, arter lookin in es veace,

Ha thort et cud'n be tha keace.

Ha zed es measter was ta bad

Ta zee vriend P., bit that ha had

Dereckly, wen tha bul did ring,

Zed " varmer Plant — ay that's tha thing ! "

An thit ha'd told'n ta go doun

An take vrim varmer P. vive poun,

An tul'n ha mit rest mortal zshore

Ha'd niver zee Nan Tap no moar ;

Zo hom a went an vrom thic day

Aul things went in a riggler way.

Bevaur I stap, et mit be wul
Ta shaw what voolish tales vokes tul !
Twis zed, thic nite, thare wadd'n zich
A thing a taul, bit that tha witch
Wis Measter Tuckitt, who'd a com
Aul out vrim Exter — and therevrom
Brort a Urd Cloke, an zo got doun
Tha chimly, jist ta airn vive poun ;
An that as doun tha place ha scral'd
Ha zlip'd es voot, an doun ha val'd,
An wat Jan thort wis Nan Tap's cry
Wis wen tha vorks rin'd in es thy ;
Thit in tha nite uv thick zame day,
Zom vokes ad zeed min ride away,

72 NATHAN HOGG'S LETTERS.

As wen Jan Plant did call, twis zaid,
Twis way tha zore ha lide a baid —
Bit as I've zed, that's vit vur skools, —
Tha laur ha macy pin zich vools ! !

An as Jan zed this, ha haiv'd a sife,
That zim'd ta dra out haf es life.
An Riar an hur Moather zot, •
A kainin in tha licker pot.
An look'd za long til pin me wurd
Thay zim'd thay zeed tha cloke a urd.
Tha 'tothers as tha wind et blaw'd,
Thank'd gudeness thay wis gwain wan raud
An Rabin Vinch zed wance'n agane,
" Laur ! want-es shet by Mucksy Lane ! "
Vur if thare's ort in aith ur air,
Tis ten ta wan bit wat tis thare.
Wul thare thay zot an speat an zmauk'd,
And skace a zingle wurd wis spauk'd '
Till vury zune tha clock nac'k wan,
Wen aul aw'm rauze to voller Jan,
Who let min out, an ta make zshore.
Like winky vasten'd too tha dore :
Zoon as Rab Vinch an 'tothers got
Outzide the kuart, Laur, auf thay zot !
An wen thay'd kort thare wind a bit
Zot too, za hard as thay cude split,
An niver ad a wurd ta zay,
Bit keep'd stratch-gallip aul tha way.
Wul, homeward thay aul took thare vlight
An niver look'd ta lift nur right,
Till passin Mucksy Lane — aw, deer ! —
Thay aul aw'm jibber'd out way veer ;

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS. 73

Bit aun thay went, wan arter wan,
Tho way tha znaw cude skacely stan.
An veel'd unsaff till in thare baids,
Thay rish'd an cover'd up thare haids.
As vur Jan Vaggis, thee mit's zware
Ha wadd'n long vaur hee wis thare.
Mariar hur veel'd aul bit wul.
An widd'n szleep nat by hurzul —
No moar wid Jan, zo, nat ta bother,
Tha maid hur zleep'd outzide hur Mother ;
An aul tha nite thare sifes an screams
Shaw'd wat wis wurkin in thare dreams —
No winder ! tho I zay't merzul, —
A dred'fler tale I hant yer'd tul ! —
Uv kuse I need'n zay tu yu
Thit ivry wurd I've told es tru —
Ees vath ! tis tru's a vrog's a vrog, — -
Zo varewul, zo's yours —

Nathan Hogc.

NOTE TO THE WITCH STORY.

Paragraphs may frequently be seen in the newspapers headed
" Extraordinary belief in Witchcraft," " Lamentable case of
Superstition," &c., &c., and the readers thereof become duly asto-
nished, throw up their eyes and hands, and ejaculate, " Can such
things be in the nineteenth century ? " Verily, " good constant,"
Buch things can be and are, and, to lessen thy astonishment in
the future, we would impose upon thee — no long expedition
involving the laying in of a fortnight's rations, nor even the pro-
vision of a nightcap, but simplj^ an afternoon's excursion now

74 NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

and then, into sonic of the villages and hamlets within a few miles
of this ever-faithful City, where, in many instances, the Railway
is supposed to have borne intelligence, and the Electric Wire to
have flashed enlightenment, and thou wilt soon find that the
belief in Witchcraft and the appearance of Ghosts are no " extra-
ordinary instance," and that, however " lamentable," supersti-
tions of that kind are as general as is the vernacular in which the
aforesaid story is written. That it is the general effect of ignor-
ance to construe the simplest event, not quite comprehended, into
supernatural agency, is sufficiently proved by the past, and that
such ignorance still reigns throughout most of the rural districts
of our native county, the writer has had ample proof and experi-
ence ; indeed, he has never yet been able to find a village without
a bridge of horrors — some dark locality where weird sounds are
heard ; horses without heads, or mourning coaches without horses,
seen — or some dreadful spectacle said to be periodically re-enacted
from the Shades below. As an instance of the belief in Ghosts,
it may be added, that a short time since, he happened to be pre-
sent when nearly a whole village, not seven miles from Exeter,
with the Railway almost at its threshold, turned out night after
night, for a week, horror-struck, to witness a light upon the
windows of a house, said to be the spirit of an old lady who had
recently died, and which turned out to be simply the reflection
■of the moon. Under these circumstances, it is little to be won-
dered that the Hoggs, the Vaggises, and Plants, become robbed
to a pretty considerable extent, for, to meet their ghostly emer-
gencies, drunken tailors, idle shoemakers, and otlier worthless
fellows, spring up into herbal doctors and white witches, and, by
pretending to find out lost property, dispel charms, and lay
ghosts, pick the pockets of their victims. The means adopted by
these imposters, as suggested by the Witch Story, are not over-
drawn ; and, incredible as it may appear, there are many Professors
of the class mentioned now in the city, carrying on what they
would in all probability term a " roaring " trade.

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS. 75

STIja iBanatigert) at (^ster Fair.

Tha gurt ugly Hellyfint widden kim out,

Zo they gid min a whack cross his Hgs an his snout.

Wen a ihote, I suppose, a wis in for a drub,

A lopp'd out en than got up tap a tub.

Tha leetle wan kim'd out, and urn'd along well,

A'd a got round his neck a smahl tinkling bell,

Zo much ver tha Hellyfints. Camyels, they say.

Drinks nort in tlia wordel but Cam-i-yel tay ;

There wis lots aw min thare, bit my zister Sairey

Zed thick way . wan hump wis a young Drummy Dairy.

Tha keeper — a dark chap, by Dame Natur color'd —

Got into a den, drash'd sim baists till they holler'd.

And jumped droo sim hoops, — twis most kapical fun ;

Zo tha keeper kim'd out when he'd shet off a gun ;

I thort that there there the best fun in the fair, yes.

An than I'd a luke at the gurt Rhino-sairyis ;

Zom chap thit stude by zed the name mid sound funny.

Bit 'twis gied en becos that a cost sa murch munny.

I 'pointed thick chap ver ta be my kinducter ;

A show'd me a Sarpint, a big boy-kinstructer ;

A laffin high-in-a, way sharp teeth an claws;

" Army drillers," and " Forkintines," birds kall'd macaws,

Parrits, love-birds, and likewise sim fine cocky 2's : —

In short tha chap dude all a cade to a moose.

Lor a massey ! I mussen furgit 'bout tha munkeys ;

Besides tha two Zebras (zem kails em wild dunkeys) ;

The pickled Jim Pansey, or Gorilla, merits

A line, as a lieth at his hearts-ease in Sperrits.

An now I've a dude, cos I don't wish ta badger ye,

Zo no moar ver the present about tha Manadgery.

Jan.

76 NATHAN HOGG's LETTERS.

iSratJ nindjian 3u0tice.

April 3rd, 1863.

Zom time agone — a hundid yer, or moar,

Gr p'raps tew hundid — that I wont be shear ;

A boy, a murtchy makin gal lis toad.

A hurn'd away vrim skule, along tha ro-ad,

Till a kim'd tu a gardin badge : en zo

A got in auver ; than a had a go

At zom ripe gusebrees ; stuff'd his burtches vull,

But thare a vall'd aslayp — a leetle fule !

Ver a wis vound en tuk'd avaur the Mare,

Twis kleer a haden got no bisniss thare ;

Bit these yer boy — a impident yung theef,

Sed, " Mr. Mare, I'll tul ee my beleef.

No gude to zay I wadden neast tha place,

But you kant punish me in this year case."

" What vor ? " tha Mare exclaim'd, " I like to naw ? "

" Cos," zes the boy, " thare idden net no law

Ginn stalin gusebrees in yer jistis buke."

" Idden er ? " es worship zed — " I'll ev a luke ; "

En zo a did ; a squirted droo es spartikels

'Bout laws gin stalin hoppels en other hartikels.

Bit nort there was bout gusebrees — " Wy thee'rt rait,''

zed he,
" Zo git long hoam these time — but lookey zee !
Thee shetten volley thick thare theevin trade,
I'll git a law 'gin gusebrees stalin made!"

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

77

GLOSSARY.

A, of, have.

abu, above

adu, to do, ceremony,

adieu
agaun, gone
agin, against
agwain, going
aight, eight
ails, eels
ait, eat
aith, earth
aiven, even
alongzide, beside
annfif, enough
airly, early
arter, after
atween, between
auder, order
aun, on
ant, awt, of it
auver, over
avaur, before
aw, oh

aw'min, of them
aw's, of us
ax'd, asked
azide, beside

Bagganit, bayonet
baid, bed
baist, beast
balling, bawling
bal, noise
baloo, row
ban, band

bang, to beat
banging girt, very

great
bant, am not
barbs, sticks
baw, laow
beant, am not
begorz, an oath
bekase, because
bess, best

bim bye, bye and bye
bin, been
bit, but

blaijed, obliged
blid, blood
bort, bought
bout, about
bral, bi-awl
brauk, broken
brekses, breakfast
bul, bell

Cabical, capital
caf, calf
cam'd, calm'd
carr, carry
cathandid, clumsy
cliaps, chops, cheeks
chaw, chew
choel, child
civillins, civilians
clainid, cleaned
clipper, a' knock
cockleert, daybreak

cole, cold
com'd, came
cort, caught
cozey, comfortable
crasses, crosses
crayturs, creatures
crinted, grunted
cude, could
cud'n, couldn't
curst, crust
cuss, curse
cute, acute
cuz, because

Drat et, ods rot it

daps, image

darter, daughter

dashed, an exclama-
tioiT

dide, died

dimmet, dusk

diss'n, don't you

dood, done

dra, to draw

drab et, see drat it

drade, threw

draivin znaw, driven
snow

drapp'n, dropt it

draut, throat

drashing, thrashing

drimpy, small

drippence, three-
pence

dring'd, squeezed up

78

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

dude, done
dunnaw, don't know
dyver'd, faded

Bes, yes

eet, yet

ekal, equal

endilope, envelope

er ur, or

es, his, us, we

Foced, forced
fust, first
furra, furrow
furtig, fatigue

Gapsnestod, gaped,

looked
gawkim, a stupid

fellow
gaur, gore
gied, gave
gie, give
gilhal, Guildhall
girt, great
girtly, greatly
gorjus, gorgeous
gwain, going

Ha', have
ha, he
haf, half
haid, head
hals, draws
harly, hardly, scar-
cely
harbs, herbs
haul, hole
hoce, hoarse

GLOSSARY,
hannel, handle
hapmy, halfpenny
happered, halfpenny

worth
hat, knocked
haup, hope
hawls, holes
hight, eight
hikes, go

hinklin, inclination
hivers, my eyes
hist, hast
holler, to cry out
horn, home
hood; wood
hullifint, elephant
humberul, umbrella
humman, woman
hummen, women
hur, her
hy. eye

Iny, any
irt, right
ith, hath
iv'ry, every
ivers, my eyes !
ize, I am

Jainis, genius
jist, just

Kaining, looking
karring, carrying
kend, kind
kindiddled, enticed
kintinnying, contin

uing
kenhoods, Keuwoods
kiss'n, can'st not

KnastoneKnowstono
kort, caught
kuart, court
kurrek, correct
Kursmis, Christmas
kuse, course
kute, acute
kuss, curse

Let her blid, draw

her blood
laur, lor, Lord

Ma, my

macy, massy, mercy

man'd, man would

manijed, managed

mare, mayor

mer, me

merzul, myself

miny, many

min, them

mortal, very

mort, lard

mow, meadow field

much, to smootho

mucks, mud

murch, much

Nack, knock

nat, not

nauble, noble

nauze, nose

uaw, naws, know-
ledge, knows

nawnort, know no-
thing

noas, nose

nort, nothing

Ort, anything

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

79

Pakin, strolling

pasher, pasha

pairt, _part, shrewd,
qauint

pasnips, parsnips

paui", to stuff, to fill

penner'd, penny-
worth

pheasants, peasants

picksey, an elf, or
fairy — infinitesi-
mal, but powerful

pin, upon

pillamy, dust

pirnt, print

plat, plot, place,
localitj'

punkel, punctual

purdlin, purling

purty, pretty

puss, purse

Rails, revels
raimid, sti*etched
rammeled, rambled
rat, rot
rauze, i-isc
ruckee, to stoop
down low

Saff, safe
sar, serve
sar'd, served
Bcace, scarce
Bcraly, to write
shet, shut, shoot
shade, should
sife, sigh
skace, scarce
skaur, score
skiddik,thing,article

GLOSSARY.

sludder, shudder
speat, spit
stap, stop
staps, steps
steev'd, stiff
stewer, dust
stright, straight
strat, dash
stude, stood

Ta, to

tamarra, to-morrow

tap, top

tettys, potatoes

that ares, that is, that

that eras, that is, that

thit, that

tho', then, altho' (as

tho') as if
thort, thought
thur, thee
tich, to touch
tidd'n, 'tis not
tiddivate, to bedeck,

to ornament
tu, to, two
tul, tell
tummil'd, tumbled

UIl, will

ulse, else

uny, only

ur, or

urch, rich

urn, to run

urd, red

urdgment, regiment

us'd, we had

uv, of

Vair, fair
vaityers, features
vall'd, fell
vailing, falling
vantysheeny, showy
vard'n, farthing
vurder, further
vath, faith
vaur, before
vaut, fault
veed, feed
veefty, fifty
veet, feet
vill'd, fill'd
vin'd, fined
vippence, fivepence
vlink, fink, figure
voks, folks
voller'd, followed
voolz, fools
vorrid, forward
vright, right
vrin, from
vrites, writes
\Til, fool

vuller'd, a fellow had
vung, vang, find, take,

gather
vur, for
vurgit, forgot
vury, very
vussled, hurried
vustling, fussing
vuz, furze

Wack, knock
wacking, great
wan, one
wance, once
wangery, tired
wap, thrash

So

NATHAN HOGG S LETTERS.

wapper-hy'd, sleepy :

groggy
wat, what
way, with
wayout, without
weed, woald
wen, when
wissel, whistle, the

throat
weth, worth
whacker, great
whisterpoop, a knock
wis, was

wiss, would'st, worse
whit, white
worn, whom
wordel, world
wnl, well
wur, were

GLOSSARY,
wurraw, hurrah
wuss, worse

Yeller, yellow
yer, your, here, hear
yer'd, heard
yewshil, usual
yu'm, you are
yurdle, hurdle

Za, so
zait, seat
zay, sea
zart, soft
zartin, certain
zaw, saw
zed, said
zee, see
zeed, seen

zos, says

zich, such

zide, side

zidd'n, sudden

zim'd, seemed

zim, think

zimper, a shy demon-
stration

zmacks, kisses

zmoaking, smoking

zoop, to sip largely

zom, some

zo's, folks, vriends,
greeting to a person
or persons present

zot, sat

zummat, something

zune, soon

zwetting, sweating

LETTERS & POEMS

TU ES BRITHER JAN,

IN

The Devonshire Dialect

BY

Nathan Hogg.

SECOND SERIES.

Dkdicated by permission to His Highness Prince
Louis Lucien Bonaparte.

editer, with biographical sketch, by
ROBERT DYMOND, F.S.A.

Sixth Edition — Enlarged — n'ith a Revised Glossary.

S. DRAYTON & SONS,

20I, HIGH STRhKT, EXETER.
1902.

Ai.i. Rights Reserved.

Contents.

DEDICATION ... ... ... v,

MY PURTY JANE ... ... ... i

THA DAYSY TAV TEA GRAVE ... ... 2

THA ZLAYPIN CHEEL ... ... ... 3

TWENTY YURS— A RAYCOLLECKSHIN ... 5

THA CRICKET ^N THA BITTLE ... ... 8

GWAYN HOM ... ... ••. 9

THA ZINGIN TIME A LIA^E ... - ... n

GIRT OFVENDERS AND ZM^L ... ... 15

M^L BROWN'S C*IINALIN 4N W^T COM'D AWT ... 14

A TURRABUL RIDE BEE RAYL ... ... 18

MEZUL EZ A PUBLIC SPAYKER ... ... 23

EXPAIRYINCES UV ROYALTY ,.. ... 27

MUCKSY LANE— A GOST STORY ... ... 40

NATHAN IN A TURKEY BATH ... ... 5°

NATHAN'S PICKTER Tt/KE BE LIGHT ... 59

THA KENTON GOST ... ... ... 69

THA EXTER SAUJERS ... ... ... 76

NOTE AND GLOSSARY ... ... ... 79

©ftitcation

(by permission)
To His Highness Prince Louis Lucien Bonaparte.

In seeking the honour which your Highness has so readily and
courteously conferred upon me, by granting me permission to
dedicate to you the following pages, I feel assured that you will
better appreciate mj"^ object in so doing when I admit that,
while entertaining full respect for your exalted rank, a recol-
lection of the Prince becomes lost in my admii-ation of the
Linguist.

Remembering the many interviews which I have been jirivileged
to have with your Highness, during your study of the Devonshire
Dialect, and your extraordinary mastery of its general peculiarities
and most difficult idioms, I can well understand how highly
you have deserved the honourable mention which has been
made of jou as a Linguist by the European Press.

My testimony to that already so universally given may seem
to savour somewhat of egotism : I cannot however imagine
that I have committed any great breach of modesty in seeking,
as the humble student of one dialect, the appreciation of a
perfect master of hundreds.

H. BAIRD.

SAIR-YTSS POAMS.

fune 2^th, 1865.

It was down by the river I first met my pretty Jane,
Upon a Zummer evening, when the zin was on the wane.
Her Httle veet they twinkled, as she tripp'd aur meadows

bright.
And my heart it whisper'd zoftly, " Giles, didst a'er see

sich zight."

No, nivver in my born days did I zee a girl so vair.
She made my heart go pit-pat, and she riz on end my

hair,
And I ax'd her for to com back, but she couldn't then

she said.
And on she sped like lightning across the level mead.

I heerd the birds a-singing, as I coom'd up droo the lane
And I thort they zed, " Giles, Giles, thee shalt have thy

purty Jane ! "
Ah ! 'twas music sweeter far than I'd ever heerd before,
It often gied ma comfort, digging pait upon the Moor.

2 SAIR-YISS POAMS

One zummer zinday morning, when the bells were ring-
ing sweet,

I met my love a'coming up old Chagford's plissent
street ;

I tuk courage theer and thin, and I up and told my love,

And she zaid, " Dear Giles, I'll have ee," and she spauk
jest like a dove.

But she nivver liv'd to do it, for she .pined away and

died,
Jest on the day she zed she be my bonny little bride ;
Now often when I'm walking down in yander meadows

bright
I zee her right before me — like an angel in the light.

And I heer her sweet voice zaying — " Giles, Giles, be

not afraid.
Thee shall see, in heavenly places, thy loving little maid ; "
Aw ! 'tis that which gies me paice as I walk in vield

and lane —
For if I live a true life I shall zee my Purty [ane.

Etja liajjsg Cap tfja (Bx&'iie.

W«t dist thovv yer thow litt'] vlow'r,
Why zich a spot dist crave ?

This ez no pleace vur wan like thee —
A daysy t^p tha grave !

Aw, no ! shz/d be zom murnvul vlow'r,
Vrim joyvul h(k apart ;

A vlow'r of d(2rker hn, way haid
Thit drap'th down like ma hart.

BE NATHAN HOGG.

I can't abide ta zee thee zmile,

That zacrid grave abuv* ;
Uy hur U vrom ma beth till now,

Wis aul I luv'd ur luv :
Et bear'th ma back to wat beant now,

Bit aw ! ta wat ith bin,
Then gie mee zom moar murnvul vlowr,

Like wat I veel wayin.

But stap I hur is a Angel now,

Moar bright an p«r thin thee ;
A light brayk'th in apin mee hart,

Thy huty now I zee ;
Iss ! litt'l vlow'r I'll iver think,

As thow raytur'nst aych yur.
Thit thow bee'st zent ta bare ta mee,

A zmile uv luv vrim hur.

I bant no V«ther, I wish I waz.

Bit et strik'th ma aul uv a heep
Ta zee thic bz^tivul pictur thare —

Thicky zweet litt'l rheel azleep !
I veel — I c^n't tullee wat I veel —

Ez I vu ez innacint veace,
^n zim I niver ctid bee za zmal

Thit I cud a lide in ez pleace.

SAIR-YISS POAMS

Iss Vflth I winder (no winder t«)

Et tha ch(7nge thit wurkith wayin,
Wen I think tha mort'l speare thare lyth

Tween tha " ez " an tha " hath a bin."
^h ! I winder wat thow deer cheel (za pnr

Until vorrid thy vz/tst^ps bend)
Wen thow, tu trrtvel'th tha raud I've trape'st,

U'll bee et thy jurney's end ?

Aw, iss ! tiz a mucky raud thow'll vine,

Way badges uv prickel an thaurn :
Thit graw'th moar thicker an zsharper tzi,

Tha vurder vrim wen y^^'m baurn.
Deer zlaypin zaul, in tha foce uv luv

Thit es now a purtecting thee,
I veel thow'm stronger agin tha word'l

Zivrel hunderdvole thin mee.

Bit arter aul thare be minny rauds

Thit laid'th iu our wordly end,
Wile zom bee ruff, and zuwant bee zom.

An tha tothers be hard ta vend ;
Zweet cheel I pray way a airnist hart

Thit tha claynist uv rauds thow'll keep —
Thit thy cus uv lyve may bee jist za smz^the

An za cam ez thy hinfint zlayp.

BE NATHAN HOGG.

Ctocntg guvs : n JXagcoUrrltsbin.

Twenty yurs ! wat mort'l changes

Hath acciir'd in thic thare time ;
An, ez back ma spurrit ranges,

Zeth, " doant put min inta rime ;
Changes thit, apin rayflecshin

Bring'th tha teer drap in mee hye,
An caFth vorrid that avekshin

Thit I veel'd in days gaun bye.

Now, in vancy, naith tha shadder

Uv tha ole hz; tree T stan ;
^n I zee, up Jackib's ladder,

Spurrits tr//pin, wan be wan ;
Spurrits uv tha dayd, long burry'd

Vrends ta mee wen bit a cheel,
Vwtstap arter v?^tstap hurry'd,

Auver tha aytarnal hill.

An I yer tha buls a chaymin,

Vur tha vokes agwayn ta prayer,
Bit thay be, thit's aunward straymin,

Net tha wans wen I wiz thare ;
No ! jist go an rayd tha ritin,

Pin tha stoans yii zee aroun,
An yu'W vine, be tha inditin,

Minny zlaypith undergroun.

An tha rest, wan pleace ur tother.

Be gaun vore ta vight thare way ;
Vur wat's vather, zister, moather,

Tu our wants vrim day to day ?
Aw ! I've thort et ez a pity

(Tho' I spose tant vur tha best)
Bit our wulvare meade et vitty

Wan ta laber way tha rest.

SAIR-YISS POAMS

No et c^nt be ! l«k ! for ort'l

Shaw thee pairtin, change an deth
Ez tha veate uv iv'r)' mort'l

Vrim tha time ha draeth ez breath,
^n if mim'r)' tu shwd purish

Wat wid this pore wurdle be? —
Ware tha pickturs aul aw's churish —

Thic in vancy I now zee?

Thare's tha sk?/le ware (macy zave ess?)

I vust larn'd ma ABC,
" Wen gwd " let out be Jinny Davies

Zixty minnits avter dree ;
An tha pleaces I've bin mitchin —

Auver meddar and dm mow,
Vur wich I've a got a zwitchin —

Noan be leff ta zwitch ma now !

Thare's the zuh- zame brwk now uming:

Ware I've tuk auff zock an hat,
An ma trowses vai up turnin,

Gone int// tha wfltter — scat !
Auff vur that I've got a drashin.

An bin vetch'd way minny sticks.
An, vur a clayn apurn splashing,

Zent ta bayd zun arter zix.

Thare I zee tha vullidge caunder,

Ware us child'rn y«s'd ta stan,
Uv tha pleace no wan wiz vonder,

Thin mezul among tha ban ;
Thare ez v«s'd ta meet and chatter —

Talk uv ghosts, an uv tha dayd,
'Till hom vast our veet wid clatter.

Most aveer'd ta go ta bayd.

BE NATHAN HOGG.

An among thic rav/ uv howzes.

Wan I zee, 1 mine en wul.
Ware I vust wared coat and trowses,

Dress'd za vine, no tung kin tul ;
An tha happinses thay gied mer,

WuU I d« raymimber iiow,
Then tha g«d ole nayburs vee'd mur.

But I've urn'd dro much moar now.

Tho, as now, wan ad ez t rubble,

Bit aich wan wiz then moar zn;a\,
Iv'ry greef aych yer grawtli dubble.

Till tha vust zim'th nort a ta\.
Zo et ez wile nayth tha shfldder

Uv tha ole htc tree I st^n,
Thit mee baytin hart grawth zt/dder —

Zadder zince I'm com a ni^n.

Twenty yurs ! bit aw less stap et,

I've a zeed a day! zince that,
An 'tiz better, murch, ta dri^p et,

Zichlike thorts beant weth a gvat ;
Aul I naw thay make mur lonely,

Noan kin tul now wat I veel,
Tho' me thorts wiz cus, I only

Naw thay'm wiss thin wen a cheel.

8 SAIR-YISS POAMS

Cfja Crtfftct an tfja Bittlf.

A cricket ha zot a pin tap a tha aith,

An ha hoUerd za lawd as ha cud squayl,
Wen a gurt black bittle a trapsin aun,

Ha t?/k an scammil'd pin tap uv ez tayl.
Now kiss'n thee zee ware thee bee'st a gwayn^

Zed tha crickit, " yu nasty vulty thing ;
Yu zartinly can't be za mort'l deeve,

Bit wrtt ! thit yu must hev a yerd ma zing.

Tha bittle ha bust out intz; a laff —

Wat ! dee cal that zingin ? aw, aw, zeth he !
If thee bees't a zinger, no kith uv mine,

Be tha black a ma cote shill zongsters be :
Tis nort bit a skritch, an wisser nur that, —

Ef I wis ta kick up zich awful rows
I'm zartin tha missus wid vurrit mer owt,

Ah nat allow mer ta bide in tha howze.

Zes tha cricket yu hugly himprint twoad,

Iv'ry nite tha missus, avaur tha vi-er,
Zmile'th auver hur veace as hur yurs ma zing,

An lafths as I toon'th up hi-er an hi-er;
An as vur tha measter ha zmoak'th ez pipe,

An yu may zee be "tha twink uv ez eye,
Thit vur vurj^ glee as ha puf'th an blaw'th,

H"a widdn be happy zept I wur by.

Tha bittle ha zed tha cricket wiz spared

Cuz ha jump'd away, an zed way skaum,
Thit ez vur ez zul ha wiz lyk'd, a naw'd,

Vur a liv'd in tha howze iver zince ha wis baum ;
Bezaides vury auff wen ha vown et cole,

Ha'd ha'd stick'd eszul ta tha missus's hoze —
Hur'd car'd min up stairs, wen aufif'n ha'd got

An zlayp'd way bothe awmin under tha close.

BE NATHAN HOGG.

Then wan kintinid ta prayze up eszul,

Tha tuther kintinid ta d« tha zeame ;
An thare bothe measter an missus thay zot,

vis if thay wiz draymin abowt tha vleame.
Ta last tha ole humman cort zight uv tha bothe,

An tha cricket ha squayl'd out hi-er an hi-er,
Wen hur shet out b<:?n t//k'd hole uv tha bn^sh,

An zwp'd tha bothe awmin inta tha vi-er.

MORRIL.

Wul, now wrtrnin teake, bothe bittles and men,

An crickits an hummen tu,
If yu thinks za vury murch uv yerzul,

Tha wurdle thinks litt'l a yu ;
An wile yti'm quardlin bowt wich ez tha best,

Stid uv stikkin ta wat y«'m meade,
Be tha vury warn yu may think yur vrends

Yu'W mtti tha vi-er be drade.

1 zeed a glad an kffin cheel,

A c«sin dn^ tha green;
A bag wiz drappin at hur heel,

.1 ax'd hur ware hur'd bin.
Hur zed ta sk^/1, I t«k hur han

Za zart, za roun an plum ;
An ware, mee litt'l queen, bee gwayn?

Zeth hur, " I'm gwayn horn ! "

" Ay ! git thee horn," I zed, " zweet cheel,

An way thy zisters play,
I tn be gwayn horn, bit veel

Thic horn's a vurder way."

lO SAIR-YISS POAMS

I zeed a zayler, tal an blithe,

Apin tha pkztvorm stan ;
Ha'd vetch'd thic happy time a hve

Uv nether cheel nur man.
I ax'd en ware thit he wiz gwayn,

An ware ha hayl'd vrom ?
Ha zed ha'd cr^ss'd tha wat'rj^ mayn,

^4n now wiz g\vayn horn.

'' Go, happy zin, an raip tha bUss
Thit ez vur thee in store ;

Bit aw ! ta mee no moather's kiss
Ull nat be gid no nioar."

T zeed a mayd a gwayn ta church,

A zuant blishin bride ;
Her morrid wan thay zed wis urch —

He zittin be hur zide.
Hur vflther an hur moather died,

Aul homliss hur becom ;
Bit now agane, zweet happy mayd,

Hur tu ez gwayn horn .

" Aw ! blessins be apin thic pair,"

I zauffly wisper'd, " vur
Tha zeake a thic zweet ^ngel thare-

jlly horn ez long way hur."

Tha tother day I cal'd apin
A vrend a wan thits gaun,

Vur worn tha brite an cheervul zin
Ith now no longer shaun ;

BE NATHAN HOGG. II

Ez gray hare htzng'd aul down ez veace,

Zeth he, " my time ez com,
Less grip yer han, I die in payee,

I veel I'm gwayn hom."

" Go, gwd ole man," I wisper'd law,

As vent ha brayth'd, an vast,
" When I tu pay tha det I aw,

May I zee zich a last."

Ay ! litt'l cheel an haupvul yuth,

Yung bride an agid man,
Tha scriptur tul'th ess nort bit trz<th,

" This life ez bit a span."
Yu zun miss urn yer aithly reace,

/in thin be cal'd yervrom ;
An yu U vind'th no restin pleace,

Y« t« wul zun be hom.

Bit wat thic hom turn'th out yu zee,

Uv c«s 'tis hard ta tul,
Tho' wan thing's saf ez saf kin be —

Depend'th apin yerzul.

Ef)a Eiuging Eime a ILibe.

Thare ez a time in this kirare

Uv trubble an uv strive,
Thit like a /Ingel bide'th ta chare —

Tha zingin time a live ;
^n macy pin tha drz/pin hart,

An pin tha zilent tung.
Wen luv, vrim bothe awmin daypairt,

Uv mttzic an uv zong.

12 SAIR-YISS POAMS

I've auff'n yer'd tha moather zing

Hur hinfint cheel ta zleep,
A Iwkin pin thic litt'l thing

Ith suite vurgot ta weep ;
Iss ! tho' no burd an mayt hur hath,

Zweet haup still keep'th alive,
Vur aw ! et light'nth up hur path —

Thic zingin time a live.

I lu hev yer'd tha wurds uv zong

Vrim veeble voyces pow'r, —
Vrim this ole man thit'th walk'd along

Ez live moast \.u a now'r :
Bit hee ith nat bin hald abowt

Way trubble, care an strive,
Nur mit way ort ta stiffle owt

Tha zingin time a live.

Bit aw ! I've zeed in prime a days,

Ware nort bit joy sh?<d bl«m,
A hart an eye that zim'd ta sayze

Tha shadder uv tha t?^m :
Note arter note, stap arter stap,

(Aw ! niver \.u rayvive,)
Wayin tha vlid uv greef id drap

Tha zingin time a live.

4w ! blessins be a pin thic time

Wen hart an zaul be yung.
Wen nether trubble, no, nur crime,

Ith stap'd tha warblin tung :
An aw ! a deep an airnist prare

Vur man, ur mayd, ur wive,
C/'th burry'd in thare hart's dayspare

Tha zingin time a live.

BE NATHAN HOGG.

0i:t ©fbnitfcrs an Smal.

A muller ha vown a mowze in ez hutch
An zed " vur this yu bee bown ta dye,"

Bit tha pore litt'l crayt'r playdid hard,
An wantid ta naw tha rayz'n wye.

" Tha rayz'n \v3'e ? " tha muller ha zed,
" Way that's a purty thing, ta be zshore ;

Now wadd'n thee vown in thic thare hutch,
A aytin tha mayl thit's grownd vur tha pore ? "

Then ha cort'n hole be tha end a tha tayl,
An ez pore litt'l haid gin tha hutch ha hat,

Alter wich tha crwel twoad ha drade
Ez pore litt'l carkiss owt ta tha c<3t.

Now a muller ha stayl'th an caVth. et " tole,"
An a mowthvul iir tu, a mowze'll scr^l,

Wflt a honjist vate thare ez, I zess,
Vur ofvenders cfirt an ofvenders zm<2l.

14 HUMERISS POAMS

H6^MERISS POAMS.

i$lal Bro\xiii'£5 Cvinalin an toat
rom'ti alut

Thare's a mayd I've long naw'd, an hur neame ez Mai

Brown,
U com'd tother day ta teake z^zrvice in town,
^n who mit way a turrabul zort a mishap.
Wen I yer'd awt, I thort thit I rayly mist drap.
Wul, et zims thit hur ad a bin walkin tha pleace,
^n zeed thicky kickshaw thay liangs ta tha waste,
' 'Crinahns " tis, thay cals et, bit laur ! pin me wurd,
Tis nort bit a hen-CMp aul cuver'd way urd.
Wul hur thort thit in ctis thit hur cwd'n be wan
Vur ta keep vrima v^shin za turrabul gran,
An hur Iwk'd in a winder an zeed wan aw'm thare,
Bit pin axin tha Vf^lly, laur ! didd'n hur stare.
Fur tha mayd uni^ng'd dree vrim bezide uv a shulve,
An zed thay v/iz zold vrim dree shullins ta twulve.
" Wul ! " zeth hur, " that's a zum thit I cant wul avord,
rU jist du et mezul, way zix pennerd a cord."
Wul, hur parchis'd zix pennerd, an zade et aul rown,
An tha vollerin Zindy hur pake'd dru tha town.
Bit laur ! if hur'd thort pin tha trubb'l in store
Hur wid'n dud then wat hur'll niver du more ;
Bit bevaur thit ess tul wat tha mayd did beval,
Et ez vrite vur ta state how hur Iwk'd arter a\.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 1 5

Wul, hur parchis'd tha cord, ez avaur I've a zed,

An zade et aul rown way tha c?«ist a thred,

Thit hur undercote spred in a way yu hant zin —

Tis a winder hur stockins stap'd aun way tha win.

Then hur ad a zmal string urning up dru tha zide

Vur ta hal up hur dress — this mim^ver I've tride, .

An I vine et a cubical mt/v vur aul bucks,

Vur ta hal up thare burches wen crassin tha mucks ;

Bit ez now I've tole thur za wul ez I ctid,

Hur l«ks, I'll jist tul thur tha things thit hur dud.

Tha vust thing hur dud, apin crassin tha strayt,

Wiz ta hal up hur things ta be tidy an nayt,

Wen zom boys gin'd ta holler, an cas wurds ta vend,

Vur hur undercote cock'd neerly uprite behend ;

An hur naw'd wat et waz, wen a humman acrass

Zing'd owt, " laur a macy ! daunt bee zich a hass ;

Dw'ee put down yer things an walk zummat like vitty,

An doant ad no moar ttc tha vt/\s a tha zitty."

Wul hur drap'd et, bit vury zun tuk up a hitch,

Wen up go'th tha pittycotes zideways, bit zich

Wiz tha hite thit thay went tti, an girt wiz tha shaw,

Thit a lot a chaps brort up an holler'd " wurraw ! " —

An tha boys thit, bevaur now, wiz watchin tha geame,

Com'd up, an immaydyit joyn'd in way tha zeame.

Ta git owt tha way hur back'd mtu a pleace.

Wen thay cock'd up bevaur, zo ta zett'l tha case.

(Yu naws hurs a twoad, now, wen up hurs a zot)

Hur pitch'd irt int?^ min, an pummil'd tha lot,

Wen a polismin pass'd, an layd hold a pore Mai,

An walk'd hur strite vorrid down ta tha Gilhal ;

Bit vinding wat 'twaz, thay advized hur ta rin

Strite horn, an nat ventir zich nonsins agin.

Now, I zay this yer vashin's tha wiss thit kin bee ;

How tha hummen kin d« et's a puzzle ta mee; —

Way if I ad a ^\^ve thit wid shaw hurzul zo.

1 6 HUMERISS POAMS

Vury quick I shud gie hur tha awder ta " go ! "

I've a zeed miny hummen go intu a shop,

Ur a korridge, ur geate, wen up thare goes — pop —

Thare undercotes, zo thit ez vai ez tha rest,

Zilly crayturs, thay may jist za wul be undress'd.

Now, I rayly daunt like vur ta vrite in this way,

Bit tis wflt yu may Ink at, iss ! day arter day ;

Tho' p'raps if thay zee'th et in pirnt, by an by,

Thay mit keep things moar saycrit, net mayn'd vur tha hy.

'Wile I'm t«lkin a this I mit jist za wul zay,
I wiz owt ttc a varmerin vrends tother day,
Wen tha measter com'd in an ha zing'd owt " Mariar ! " —
Wativer's a com'd a thic girt roll a wi-er?
Twiz auver tha chimly peese, no y//z ta tul,
Unny tu days ago, vur I zeed et mezul.
Wul they zarch'd, an tha measter, ha kick'd up zich rigs,
Cuz ha wanted tha wi-er vur ringing the pigs,
Nat a skiddick howiver wiz vown, zo ha thort
Thit ta zarch iny vurder'd be zarchin vur nort.
Wul thic minnit in drap't an ole vren, Varmer B — ,
U pin yerrin wat waz zing'd out " deer macy mee !
Et es czijryiss now, vath, vur I'm in a stu,
My wi-er's agaun an I cant think ware tu."
Wul ! thay thort no more bout et (ur nat vury murch)
Till nex Zindy id com, an thare mayd went ta Church,
Wen hur stick'd out aul roun in za cz/ryiss a way,
Thit tha yung Varmer holler'd " Mariar, I zay !
I'll be dal'd if owr Mary thare hath'n a bin
An parchis'd be zom mayns a nn crinalin.
" Wat dee tul aw ? " ez zister rayplied way a vrown,
" Way hur hath'n a bin vur zix munths inta town !
" Niver mine, now vur that, hurth a got min " zeth hee,
" An avaur tha days auver I'll manidge ta zee 1 "
Wul ! aivnin wiz com, hom com Mai inta howze.
An went up to change, bevaur mulkin tha cowze.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 1 7

An wen hur went out up ha go'th auver stairs

An zarchid awl awver pore ]Mallys avares.

Wul ! ha zidd'nly com pin a thing thit ha naw'd

Wiz tha wan thit zo mortilly spied Mai abraud,

Zo ha t«k owt ez nive, cut zom stiches an vown

Thit tha wi-er thay'd laust wiz a zade aul aroun.

Now poor Mally's kinsam ha immayditly tz^k

Jist as twaz, an then hang'd et aul up tu tha cruk

In tha kitchin, zo wen hur put vtit in tha pleace,

Tha thingamy stared hur irt bang in tha veace :

Laur a macy ! hur drap'd bothe tha cans (hur did zshore !)

An val'd, way tha vrite, horn pin tap a tha vlore ;

Then hur got inta sturricks like hummen vokes du,

My ivers ! an zot up a mortal bai?^ ;

An hur drade up her mowthe dree ur vour inches wide,

Thit I thort tha pore craytur wid rayly a dide ;

Howsimiver hur didn, an wen hur com tu

Hur zwared zich a hack hur wid niver more du,

Zo tha measter vurgid hur bit tha nayburin voke

Aiv'n now tayze pore Mai way tha pig wi-er joke.

I vurgot vur ta tul'ee vrim thicky thareday

Tha tother mayd niver wiz tiddivated way

Zich a roundabout thing, and tis c//!ryiss tha wi-er

Wis vown arter that a drade in pin tha vi-er ;

Bit thick cock wid'n vight, vur twiz naw'd vury wul

Tha wi-er cud'n git in zich pleace be etszul.

Tha vack uv et was, thit tha mayd id a yur'd

Tha awvul mis-hap that ta Mai id accur'd ;

Zo, rather thin urn iny risk uv tha zeame,

Hur went an kimmittid tha wi-er ta vlame.

Wat Ive tole thur es tru, zo tha case uv poor Mai

Wul I haup vrim this time prnv a warnin ta al ; —

Nat uny tu mayd'ns in zarvice, an thay

Yu may zee in shop winders a wurkin away,

^n who shaw'th ivrj- maurnin (vur aul aws may zeet)

l8 HUMERISS POAMS

A dwce uv a way up abuv thare " pore veet,"
Bit tha ladees u auft be thare larnin ta naw
Thit tant aul ez hev got wiz a gid ez tha shaw ;
Now I tul'ee \fat tez if yu want vur ta step et,
Tha ladees must be tha vust wans vur ta drap et-
If thay daunt Mally Brown'll be agane in a bother,
Cuz hur thinks thit wan leg ez as gwd ez anutTier.

^ Currafcul rite bre i^agL

Y«Ve yer'd a Janny Gulpin's ride

Vrim Linnin pin a hauss,
An yuWe a yer'd, I spoze, bezide,

Ez hat an wig ha lauss :
Uv CMS ha raud moast mort'l quick.

Bit arter aul yu'll vine,
Howiver vast ha went, thit thic

Thare ride wiz nort ta mine.

Wan day t« Tinmith I'd a bin

An in tha artermm
Went tu tha Stashin way a rin,

Nat veelin auvers«n;
An zo et pmv'd, vur pin me wurd,

Wen jist inzide I got,

Tha wissel aw tha trayn I yer'd,

^n auff tha bagger zot.

Nat tu be dz^d, I urn'd arcrass

Tha tother zide tha line.
Ha wadd'n gwayn nat auver vast,

Zo I jump'd behine.
Tha dang'd ole boyler puff'd an blaw'd,

Tha porters aul aw'm skritch'd,
Tha moar thay cal'd, I virmer raud ,

An legs an vingers clitch'd.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 1 9

Tha trayn urn'd up bezide tha zay,

(A purty zite et waz ; )
Agane I yerd tha wissel play,

" Yer com'th tha haul* — I'm daz !
Iss ! laur a macy ! macy mee !

Yer tis, now uny hark,
Howiver kin a vuller zee

Ta hole aun in tha dark?

Ess shet in drw thic haul, — aw law ! —

Zich noys wiz niver yer'd,
Et zim'd like trav'Iin down belaw —

Iss, did, a pin me wurd !
Tha v<zpper rish'd up drw ma naws,

An down ma draut, za thick
Thit ef I hadd'n clinch'd ma jaws

I zun sh/<d ha bin zick.

Wul, then tha groun zim'd aul a vi-er —

I twk'd a virmer hold,
Ez zim'd ez ef thit ess wiz ni-er

Thick pleace thit I've a told :
An then ess thort ess zmul'd a zmul,

A zeed a zcrtin veace —
Tha neame awmin I need'n tul,

Nur vurder steate tha pleace.

Bang arter Bang wiz yer'd aroun,

I thort thit, iv'ry lurch,
Tha imps wis vi-erin (be tha zoun)

Ta hat ma auf ma purch ;
Bit ef thay did zhet wul ur nat,

Ef did'n zun com lite,
I veel'd thit, (ef I wadd'n hat,)

I muss val auf way vrite.

* Tho Tunnel.

20 HUMERISS POAMS

Wul owt ess com'd an in ess went,

^In owt agane, an in, —
A winder thit ess did'n vent

Vur want a hare an z'ln :
" Thank gz^dniss yer ess be ta lass "

Zeth I " yer's Dalish close ;
Eet still ha go'th most mort'l vass;-

Thay'm puttin aun more foce ! ! "

An zo thay waz, vur be tha pleace

Ess jist like litnin rish'd,
Wile pin tha platvorm iv'ry veace

Zim'd like a veace a wish'd.
In vack tha miny things ess pass'd

(Ta think awt now I zheake,)
Zim'd, iv'ry stap ess went za vast,

Ta graw Intu a strake.

Aun, aun, ess went, laur jayly cry !

Till Starcrass pleace ess vetch'd,
Ess did'n stap, ess zim'd ta vly —

Eet zartin wurds ess ketch'd ;
I thor a porter veller cride,

" Look thare thats Nathan Hogg ! "
Iss tiz, yu blackgard, I rayplied,

Twiz yu thit lauss tha dog.' ■*

* Nathan a short time before had lost a favourite dog through
the neglect of tho stupid portfir who bungles the wires at this
great station.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 21

Wul, then ess Iwk'd owt pin tha zay,

(Zich thing wiz niver yer'd,)
Vur bigger thin a rick a hay

Thare zwim'd a wackin burd ; *
An, ez ess raud, ha turn'd ez bayk,

Thort I " now hang aun varm,
Vur ef ha com'th an vind'th thur wayk,

Ha'll ayt thur hke a warm,"

Bit ztm ess zeed min owt a zite ,

An mort'l glad ess veel'd,
Nat carin ta be gobb'ld quite,

Like giants ait'th a cheeld ;
A purty mayl thort I, — iss vay ! —

(Fur thicky burd jist pass)
Mee bastid an a zar'd up way

Zom Starcrass mucks vur sass.

Wul aun ess rish'd pass Powderim,

Zeth I " tant vury vur,
I kin hole vast me hole, I zim,

Za var ez Exminstur ! "
Bit wen ess com'd ta thicky pleace,

My ivers ! ess zhet vore
Ez ef way zich a dredvul peace

Ess sh?id"n stap no moar.

Now vaster, iss ! an vaster stiil,

Tha varmint zim'd ta viy
Be hud an wotter ; " now I shil

Val auf I veel an die ' "
I cud'n spayk, thort I " yer go'th— "

I veel' thit aul wiz gwayn
Mee hans an legs wiz Iws'nd bothe

An then thay stap'd tha trayn.

* Nathan must liave seen Capt. Peacock's beautiful boat in
the shape of a bird.— "The Swan of the Exe."

22 HUMERISS POAMS

I had'n scacely tich'd tha groun

In vancy ez I vaVd,
Wen zidd'nly I yer'd a zoun,

An pin mee veet I scral'd ;
" Zin Tommis's ! " I yer'd min zay,

It strik'd mur uv a hayp
Ta vine thit needy aul tha way

I'd uny bin ta zlayp.

Thic draym, tho', meade mer in a zwet,

An veelin mortil quare,
I went an got a dr^'p a wet

An zot down in a chare ;
I wadd'n wul long arter that,

An veel, in thicky ride,
That tho' in boddy I wiz nat,

Ma spurrit raud owtzide.

Now brither Cowper waz a man,
Like mee, uv girt raynown,

An wen ha'd ort tall in ez haid

Ha tuk'd an vraut et down ;

Tha diffirns between hee an mee
I scacely need ta tul, —

Hee draym'd abowt old Janny G. —
I draym'd abowt mezul.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 23

A Meetin caVd spayshil wiz hold Mundy nun,
An tha rayz'n tha Kownzil wiz zumm'nd za zun,
Wis ta yer an kinsidder kimplaynts thit wiz meade
Uv tha Bunny bein tuk'd vur a private chops treade;*
I wiz in a fimt pleace an cud zee aul wiz thare,
An wiz zittin (zom distins) tha rite a tha Mare,

* The only object in introducing this subject of the Exeter
Bonhay pleasure-ground job is to show the universality of Nathan's
talent, and that he is not only an elegant writer, but an accom-
plished orator.

In order as Pope says to show

" What mighty contests rise from trivial things."
or in other words, the circumstances to which Nathan's maiden
speech is to be attributed, it is necessary to quote the following
epistle of his on behalf of a respected relative, addressed to the
Town Council of E.xeter.

Ginelmen,

This com'th haupin et'll viud'ee in gwd hulth, ez
layvcs mee at presint thank God vu'rt.

Tha naub'l hack yu'vc a d»d way wan V , an tha

Bunny, shaws thit yw've a mine vur ta purmote an hinkurridge
tha treade a tha zitty. Now a kuzz'n a mine, won Dorrity
Zlipzlop, ith a t«k in a kontrack vrim tha Borriks vur washin
tha zaujers close, «n hur wont'h mee ta ax a yw if yu wid let
hur hitch up a line vrim tha neck uv tha nw statty, tap a

Norny, ta wan a trees be Capp'n H s, jist ta hang owt a vio

things. Tha ole dumman cant avord to pay ort, bit hur widd'n
mine dwing tha kowusils washing Viir dree months, vur nort, jist
ez a zort a kinsiderashin like. Hur zartinly idd'n wan a tha

Town Kownsil like Measter V , bit hur wash'th vur ziveril

a thic boddy wom yu mit naw be tha vine gittin up a thare
linnin.

24 HUMERISS POAMS

An ess yer'd tha vokes zay az ess com'd pin thare zight —

" Luk dee zee Measter Hogg — ha'll zit min aul vright,"

I then tiik zom notes way a zlat an zom chalk,

Uv a girt dayl a gibrish I yer'd in thare talk ;

I muss zay that zom awm com'd out purty wul,

Bit noan awmin thare a tal aykil'd mezul ;

Vur arter zom time id bin wastid be aych,

I rauze up an gid min tha volerin spaych ;

I naw tiz rayportid moast cabical wul

Vur a vury gwd rayz'n, I dud et mezul.

Measter Hogg then st//d vorrid an much'd down ez cLing
Gid tu ur dree kauffs wen ha tride ta begin,
Bit vur vti\ haf a nower tha cheers wiz za lowd
Thit ha cwd'n du nort zeptin nad ta tha crowd ;
Bit wen thay got hoced an wiz blaijed vur ta stop,
A need'l ur pin mit be yer'd vur ta drap.
Measter Mare, ha then zed, I'm most playz'd vur ta zee,
Zeth ez Wurship, yw've rayly tha hadvantidge a mee,
Zeth tha spayker, zur, 'low mer yer m.im'ry ta jogg,
I'm tha chap y«'ve yer'd tul aw za murch, Nathan Hogg.
Zeth ez wurship, laur jayly! my ivers ! now be?
I a zhor'ee, ma vrend, dith ma prowd vur ta zee; —
Ha'd a like ta zheake bans, vur ha yestl'd abowt,

I clai-ezay tha tother ole wnsherhummen want be playz'd,
bit if yv cuA du vur Dorrity wat I «x, hur mit be abul ta teake
tha nex kontrack et a hapmy loss thin tothers cud du wat
pays vur thare awn grown.

I be ginelmen, yours aveckshinitly,

NATHAN HOGG.

PS.— Dorrity jist raymind'th me, thit ef a zhow'r com'th

aun et widd'n be murch moar trubble jist ta let Capp'n H

teake in tha close. Ez var ez a rayfuzil ez kinsarn'd, ef hur

cant ha tha grown, hur'll be ablaijed ta du ez Measter V

dret'nd ta du — teake hur bisniss owt a tha zitty.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 2$

Bit wiz dring'd up za close tha a cud'n com owt.
Zeth I, tother day, I jist drap'd ee a line
Vur wan Dorrity Zlipzlop, a kuzz'n a mine,
Vur ta let hur hang owt a vtt things by em by
Vrim tha neck a Sir Tommis's statty ta dry ;

An ta let Capp'n H , ez tha tnibb'l wiz zmal,

Jist ta teake in tha close, ef a zhower shud val.

Now I beg vur ta zay, zince I vraut thicky letter,

Tha public hev meade mer kinsidder et better;

Zo allow mer, yer Wurship an kownsil ta zay

Thit I wish ta withdra wat I vraut tother day.

An ef yu'd a let et, ur lend et, ur zole et,

Ha muss be a himprint twoad thit wid hole et.

(Yur tha cheerin bust owt in aul pairts like a vleame,

^n zom caVd a pin V ta du jist tha zeame,)

Tha spayker (that's mee) then kintenid ez spaych,
An zeth measter Mare I beant gwayn ta praych,
Bit wen thay tu kownsilmen shet up thare cltrtter
I'll tul thur mee mine, in tti wurds, pin tha matter.
(Yur tha Mare nack'd ez hammer an holler'd owt " stap ! "
Wen tha talkin an noyse most immaydyitly drop.)
Tha spayker (that's mee) then rayzwm'd in a voyce
Thit wid meake minny spaykers veel glad an rayjoyce ;
An zeth he Measter Mare, now kimpla^Tit ith bin meade
Thit twiz Jillizy, uny ! be chaps uv tha treade ? —
Thit ez var ez tha Bzmny's kinsarn'd, tiz aul talk,
Vur a vur)' vu went thare ta yuz et ta walk !
I've a likewize a yerd et hincraysis tha treade —
Thit a biggerer kontrack wiz niver a meade,
^n et hath a bin argid most mortilly warm,
Thit tha wurks wid'n du nat no g«d nur no harm.
Measter Mare an town kownsil, now hark'n ta mee,
An I think this ez humbug yz^'ll vury zun zee ;
Thit et ez ez a shawd be tha vury vust vack
Thit tha tothers be jillis ta zee zich a hack.

26 HUMERISS POAMS

Now I zildim tend meetins, bee em big uns ur zmd,

Bit I've hik'd pin this boddy's tha v«ther uv a\,

Uz dz^ty's ta hack an purvent inny bother,

An ta zee thit wan cheel beant moar vav'rd thin tother

Treade jilHsy uny ? a passel a cant !

I sh?<d like measter Mare vur ta naw wat thay went.

XiiW vine et tha gurtist misteak y«'ve a meade

Ef yw git hinten'eerin way wan tuthers treade.

(Yur tha cheers wiz za lowd thit ma voyce wiz a drown

Zo I thort vur a minnit I'd better zit down.)

Wen I rauz'd aul tha pleace, vur ta yer wat I zayd,

Aul ta wance becom zilent an still ez tha dayd.

Then zeth I talk uv tinkrin himprwvin uv greens —

Yur wurship id better tul that ta mureens,

(This yur zayin wiz thort be most aul ta be cut,

Ez thay shaw'd wiz tha keace be aul kickin thare mit)

Wat d'ee think then zed I, thit pore vokes got no mine

Ta enjoy tha grass plats iin vu% aykilly vine?

D'ee think thit thare noshin uv m?/zik's za dull

Thit tha hamm'rin uv hiem wid d« jist za wuU ?

I think measter Mare yw wid differint vw't,

Ef y«'d jist let mer gie thur a Uin pin tha vh<t.

(Yur thay cheer'd mer agane an cal'd owt vur ta play,

Bit I promish'd I'd du et ta zom vwtur day.)

Zeth I in iu wurds, I beg leeve ta kinklwd,

An I haup yw'll teake warnin be wat yu've a d?<d,

^n let tha vokes veelins be vust uv aul nawn,

Bevaur y?<'ve a lendid wat idd'n yur awn,

Vur a chap ^u may git, (ez ta day y« kin zee)

Way nat haf za murch zens as Dorrity un mee.

Hevin vinish'd I went vur ta muv vrim mee zayt,

Bit laur ! nat a minnit tha public wid wayt,

Zo midst cheers, zich ez niver wis yer'd I veel zhore,

I wiz car'd down tha strayt an rite hom ta vaur dore.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 27

, lExpairginccs ub iElogalt^.*

Uivei wid a thort thit wan,
Like mee, wid be za girt a m^n

Ez Tve tum'd owt ta bee?
A v« yurs zince, nat harly naw'd,
An now way neame aul zpred abrawd

Ez iv'ry w^m kin zee.

61ver wid a tiiort, I zay,
Thit I wiz baurn ta vrite away

Za murch, an eet za wul ; —
Ta ]am tha vokes zich cliver things,
^n then, ta zee how wul I brings

Min aulzo aun ta spul.

Bit wats moar czitryisser thin a\,
Ta think et shz^d ta mee heval

Zich mighty vokes ta zee
Es I've a zeed ; way tidd'n wan
Uv thowzins, a\ dn^owt tha \an,

Kin zay tha likes a mee.

Now ef yu uny ch«z ta \i/k,
Wen vust yu aup'n this yer b«k,

Thare starth'ee in tha veace; —
A Purnce Impairyil zort mer owt,
Mee krnin ta tul'n a\ abowt —

Iss ! flckshly twaz tha kease.

* These recollections are founded on facts, and may be literally
accepted when qualified by a foot note.

28 HUMERISS POAMS

Wan maurnin arely I wz horn,
Wen way a nack a messige com,

Ta zay thit I miss playze
Ta measter Ptzlmers hurry down;
Wul zo I did ^n thare I vown

A ginelmin et ayze.

Thick b«k uv mine — yti naw tha wan —
Ha'd got aul aup'n in ez han,

I mine et vury wul ;
Ha zim'd hadmirin way a zmile —
An vur ta think et weth a wile —
«Thic picktur uv mezul.

Ha muv'd es hat, I p^^l'd mee hare,
Drade aup ma mowth, (I zeed'n stare)

An zhet'n vury zun ;
Ha'd got a hye jis like a hawk,
Bit, laur a m«cy ! wen ha spauk

'Twiz mz/zic in tha tz/n.

Ez vigger et wis middlin ta\,

Ez mowth wiz nether girt nur zm.a\,

Ez nawz wiz mortil gran ;
In vack ef y«'ll bit uny zee
Tha girt Napoleauns picter hee —

'Th a got min tw tha man.

Zeth hee I wont ta yer a \u,
Zich purty spaykin chaps ez yu,

Ta put thare talk in pirnt ;
Ha talk'd abowt tha u and a
An lots a things, zeth I way la !

Tha moast awt yw've a lirnt.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 29

'Tiz uny vrim yer b«k, dear zur,
Ha zeth, bit cud yii tul ma wur

Thit I c«d yer et spauk ?
Iss vath I zeth, I zhorely can,
(I tich'd ez butt'n haul way ma hen)

Zeth I com owt ta Stauk.*

I let min go bit I'll be dcz !
Ef I'd a noshin u ha waz

Ontil ha went away ;
Bit stap ! I be bevaur ma tale,
Ha zed ha muss be auff be rayl,

An thenaur cz^dn stay.

Ha veeld quite zorry — that a did !
An ef had time ha rayly wid,

Go owt an yer min tul ;
Bit ef za be I'd turn tha zung
Uv Zolamin \ntu my tung

Ha'd pay ma vur et wul.

Wul, I agreed an way tha zeame,
Ha t«k an went an vraut ez neame

A pin tha cownter thare ;
An ez ha comd an talk'd a bit,
Pore Palmer zim'd t«k'd in a vit.

An maze-like zim'd ta stare.

Zich mowthes, \u niver, thit ha meade,
An aup n wide ez jaws ha drade,

Then pok'd ez vinger owt ;
Then aul ta wance et curr'd ta mee
Ha wantid mer zummat ta zee, —

Wat waz et aul abowt ?

* Stoke Canon.

^O HUMERISS POAMS

Tha ginelmin then rauz'd ez hat,
I aid'n d« tha likes a that,
Becuz mine wadd'n aun ;
Ha went owt way jaynteel stop,
Pore Palmer u wiz vit ta drop
Zeth zauffly " Ez er gaun ? "

Zeth he " way dam yer stwpid wig.
Thee diss'n naw how mort'l big

Ha ez thits jist agaun ! "
Zeth I " way wat d'ee tul aw now ? "
Zeth he " haf law yu did'n bow —

Tiz Purnce Napoleaun."

" Git owt ! " zeth I, " Tis, vath"! " zeth he,
Now uny jist htk yer an zee,

Daunt be a zimpl zaul ;
I rayd ez neame " Aw, wat a gauk !
I ax'n ta go owt ta ^tauk —

An tich'd ez butt'n haul ! "

Zeth Palmer — iss, I zeed'ee dw't !
An tride ta meak'ee yer ma vwt,

Bit, no, yti widd'n yur !
Wan thing's howiver weth a wile —
I zeed'n gie a plezint zmile

Wen thit yu went za vur.

Wul now I muss com Ui a end, —
Tha wurk ess promish'd hom I zend,

Wat com'd awt yu kin zee ;
Ef, ez I zed, yz/11 uny l?/k
Jist et tha aup'nin uv this bwk,

Yu need'n ax a mee !

BE NATHAN HOGG. 3 1

Bevaur I stap I tul'ee wat,

I've zeed tha Purnce zix times zince that

An this yer zims ta mee —
Ef zom uv owr pore stick'd up chops
Cud zee min thay wid lain wat (praps)

A ginelmin sh«d bee.

Now hevin to!e thur moar thin wance,
How vust I naw'd tha Purnce a Vri^nce,

Mee tale I'll korry vore;
An alter yu've a yer'd ma tul
Abowt anuther Purnce, ez wul,

I'll tul tha zummat moar.

Wul then, agane, et Kirt'n town,
Wen I wiz horn ta Exter bown,

Nat vury long ago,
I got intzif a korridge, thare
An zeed a boy way aulburn hare,

An veace thit waz zo-zo.

I zot down tap tha k«shin'd zayt,
An thort et h^k'd most cn^el nayt

Vur zeck'nd class avare ;
I drade up in tha caunder vlat, —
Thinks I, I'll aup'n up a chat

Way thay thare covys thare.

Tti ginelmen wiz way tha lad,
I thort et mit ha bin ez dad —
Ez hunkel praps ez wtil ;

Vur wan awm com'd ta ware I zot —
Zeth hee ta mee " Ess dree hev got

This korridge tti ourzul.*

* The 1st Class Saloon Carriage into which Nathan entered
by mistake, the Crediton functionaries, not being adnsed of
the quality of their ist class passengers, having unlocked the door.

^2 HUMERISS POAMS

"Wat au awmin?" I then rayplied —
Way dree uv'ee cant zhorely ride

In aul tha zayts ta wance ;
A zmile then com'd acr^jss ez iieace,
" Aw, now, I zed," I zee tha keace —

Yu lam thic boy ta dance ! "

I rayly thort thay wid a zplit,

An wan awmin wiz blaijed ta zit —

Zeth hee yu've " zok'd tha riddle !
Zo now yu naws aul ytt kin naw,
G«d mounrnin t'ee — 'zeth I will, law !

Rum dancin way no viddle!*

Wul, thinking wat I zed wiz trw,
I zeth, way nat no moar ta du,

Wul zoce I wish'ee wul !
Tha boy ha laf d an gied a nad
Zo did ez hunkel an ez dud —

I dud tha zeame mezul.

Wul zun tha trayn ta Exter com,
I vury quick got owt therevrom.

Wen, laur a macy mee !
A lot a vokes stud hat in han,
(Sh//d zay, et layst, twiz veefty wan

Ta wulkim thicky dree.

Thay bow'd an scrap'd an layd min tu
A Tum ware way a girt ta du,

A leb'ner wiz praypar'd ;
Bit wen thay tole mer, aw I'm daz !
U thicky boy an tu men waz

My ivers how I stared !

* There is some reason to fear that Nathan has been following
the example, in this instance, of a great literary predecessor-
indulging in "Imaginary conversation."

BE NATHAN HOGG. 33

Wul U dee think wiz thicky dree
Thit ntzdded an thit tdk'd ta mee

Wen in tha c^r I'd been?
(Twiz nat ez hunkel ur ez dad) —
Pumce Auther wiz thic litt'l l^zd

Tha zin uv our Queen.

I thort ta zee min dress'd za vine,

^n thit way gz^ld'n things ha'd zhine,

Bit laur, et wadd'n zo !
Ez \ax ez wat ha ad (2wm goze,
Ha hadd'n aun no better cloze

Thin our yung Measter Joe.

In vack ez vax ez outwird zhaw
A pin me wurd ^u widd'n naw

Thit iver yw'd a zeen —
(Wayout a bit a gwld'n brayd,
Ur vethers a pin t(3p ez haid)

Tha zin uv our Queen.

I tele thur, wen I'd dz/d thic tale,
Playze g/^dniss thit I widn vayl

A zummat moar tu tul,
Abowt tha Royal vokes Ive zeed,-
I'll now d?< wat I zed I wid —

Tis bowt tha Queen hurzul.

I nivir shill vurgit, wan day,
Wile Ittkin owt pin Plimmith zay-

Twiz back in veefty-vow'r ;
Tha guns wiz zhettin neer an var
Till, vath, I thort I'd gaun to war

Tha powd'r ad zich pow'r.

24 HUMERISS POAMS

I'd most begin ta Iwk abowt
Ta zee zom way ta vight et owt

Ez zaujers auft ta d«,*
Wen, aul ta w^nce, zich cheers arauz
Ez iver com'd vrim h?;min jaws —

I join'd in tha bal?/.

A lot uv zhips com'd steemin in —
Twiz zed thit w^n awm car'd tha Queen,

" My hyes," zeth I " lets zee ! "
I shuv'd aim ^n l?/k'd aul aroun
In haups, ez upwirds they wiz bown,

Tha g/i-ldn crown ta zee.

In vack T kain'd vrim deck to deck,
Ontil I neerly crick'd ma neck

N<2t yusd ta zich avares ;
I ax'd a ch<7p thare, playze ta gie
A noshin ware tha Queen id bee, —

Ha zed hur'd gaun down stairs.

Ha'd zeed hur crown et wax za bright
Ez if way cannels aul alight —

Wid I go long way hee ?
Twiz uny jist owt tu Mownt Wize,
A place ha zed hur alwis lize —

Ware hur I'd zhore ta zee.

Uz went zom way, ha mead a stap,
An zeth ta mee " I zay old chap —

Tis better ta take care !
1st got ort vallyble about?
Cuz ey yu ha jist teake et owt —

Thares lots uv prigs owt thare.

* It will be seen by reference to Nathan's former work that
lie was then serving his country as a Militiaman.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 35

Ha drade ez waiscote aup'n wide,
An shuv'd a watch an puss inzide,

Wul that I zeth €2 c«t !
I thort tha chap wiz cruel kine,
Ta ax ef ha shud put in mine,

An zo I let min d«'t.

Wul zztn ess raych'd owt tu Mownt Wize,
An zich a mob wiz thare, my hyes !

Ez scace wiz iver zeen ;
Tha ships wiz lyin down belaw.
An vath. et waz a purty zhaw,

Bit v;are zeth I's tha Queen ?

I turn'd, raysayvin no rayply,

" Darnation zayz'n," zing'd owt I,

" Ware's thicky vuller gaun ?
Ha'th got ma munny, an ma puss,
Likewize tha watch — a girt dayl wuss —

Vur thiclcy wadd'n ma awn."

Wul, auf I zot ta zarch'n owt.
Bit alter ramlen aul abowt,

Ta cut tha story zhort,
I niver zeed'n vrom thic day,
Tha uny thing thit I kin zay

Ez " Wit bort ez wit tort."

I stayed et hom tha next tu days,
Zeth I, " tha Queen may go hur ways,

Vur aul tha likes a mee ; "
Bit hevin yer'd hur wid unbark
Ta go an hck et Zaltrim Park,

Thort I, I'll go an zee.

36 HUMERISS POAMS

Wul up I went a mile ur tu,

An voun thit wat I yer'd wiz tr«,

Vur hunderds thare I zeed ;
Tha ginelvoks wiz stud inzide,
Wile cmss tha creek, tha tother zide,

Wiz navvys, ur thic breed.

Then zidd'nly thare rauz'd a cry,
Thit zim'd ta ayko dru tha sky,

" My ivers," yers tha Queen !
Tha vlag wiz vlyin in tha prtrk,
Twiz thort thit hur wid thare unbcrk,

Bit laur ! thay waz t«/k'd in.

Bevaur cud zay Jack Rabinzin !
Tha royal bote wiz urnin in,

Tha common vokes among;
Tha zaylers meade a bungle awt,
Et layst, I spoze twiz thare vawt

Cuz Queens cant dn no wrong.

Iss, vath ! intu tha creek thay um'd,
^n zich a zight, aw, I'll be burn'd !

Bevaur wiz niver zeen ;
Up auver a girt ruff stoan wm,
Tha zaylers waz ablayjed ta hal,

Be foce our naub'l Queen.

Purnce Albert got up be ez zul
Tha litt'l pumces d«d ez wul,

^n wen thay got up tap,
My ivers ! twaz a purty job,
Vur thare wiz aul awm in tha mob,

An ctid'n mnv a stap.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 37

Tha zaylers zing'd owt, " com I zay,
Du, vur hur Majesty meake way,"

An ulbaw'd tu en vra ;
Tha Queen hang'd pin tha Purnce's Hft,
Wile way ez rite arm ha meade shift

Hur Majesty ta dra.

Tha Htt'l Pumces scral'd along
Way difficulty dvu tha throng,

A laffin, vit ta zplit ;
Thay zim'd ta think " Laur macy mee !
Now idd'n this a mort'l spree,

Thit ess daunt auff'n git."

Wul alter a girt dayl ta du,
Thay mcnidgd vur ta ulbaw dr«,

An raych tha tuther zide;
Kinveyinces wiz stannin thare —
Dree korridges, I think, an pair —

Ta teake min vur a ride.

Thay stajy'd a minnit, praps, ur tu,
An thare I cort a purty vu

Uv aul tha Royal voke ;
Tha Queen zim'd cr?^el owt a pleace,
I niver zeed za urd a veace —

Hur cud'n zee tha joke.

Hur zartinly nad tu tha crowd,
Bit wan cud zee be how ur bow'd,

Hur did'n like et wul ;
My ivers ! m wid hev a thort-
Thit Kings an Queens id tempers ort
Like wat I got mezul ?

3$ HUMERISS POAMS

Tha yung wans t«, way Royal blid,
Dtid jist ez tother child'm wid,

Zeth I, wul girt ur zmal,
Tiz playn thit Purnces Kings an Queens,
Be jist like iny uther beens —

Bit htiman arter a\.

I thort, Hv cus, ta zee tha Queen
Like wat I ha in pickters zeen,
Way zepter, crown, an vur : —
Hur wared a bunnet meade a stra,
In v<3ck, I've zeed moar vinery, la !
Apin a dressmaker.

Wul, wen thay ad a zetl'd down,
Thay aul aw'm drauv up dm tha groun,

Ta \uk et Zaltrim howze ;
Now wance up tu thic pleace I'd bin,
Thinks I I'll meake a zhorter rin,

An cut across tha mowz.

I d?/d et, an com'd up abowt
Tha time ta ketch min comin owt,

An wfllkin tap tha green ;
An now an then up close I'd hike —
I ctid a tich'd, ef I'd a like,

Tha gearmint uv tha Queen.

Thare wadd'n moar thin Ut ur dree,
Bezides tha Royal vokes an mee.

An wen I muv'd mee hat
Hur nadded way a purty zmile,
Thort I, " way in a litt'l wile,

Hur wid'n mine a chat."

BE NATHAN HOGG. 39

Laur ! wat a change thare ez zeth I,
Ta wan tha vokes a stdiinin by —

Tha urd wiz aul agaun,
^n now hur veace wiz zuant quite —
Et wadd'n nether urd nur wite,

Bit zweet ta \uk apon.

Thay drauv away jist ez thay com,
An vur}' likely zun got horn,

I wadd'n thare ta zee;
Bit I kin zay vur aul an wance,
A vur>' vn hev ad tha chance

Ta zee tha Queen like mee.

Wul, now I hev a dz^d ma ryme,
I nivir zeed hur zince thic time,

Bit aw, I've rayd uv hur!
I naw tha change thit hur'th a zeen,
Et com'th ta labrer an ta Queen,

Zo long's thay torry yur.

Wan awmin thit I zeed com vore,
Vrim thicky barge, ez now no moar,

An til eth morrid been ;
Way veelin hart I kin bit zay,
" Wile in this wurdle hur mit stay,

God's blessins pin tha Queen ! "

40 HUMERISS POAMS

MUCKSY LANE.

a ®ost Storg.

Nat minny miles vrim Kirton Town,
(A pleace yw naw uv girt raynown,)
Thare ez a way thits niver clayn,
CaVd be tha vullidge " Mucksy Lane,"
Za awvul wet, an v«l a mucks,
Thit tidd'n vit vur pigs nur ducks ;
^n ef et waz tiz trubbl'd zo
Thit neaste tha spot thay dars'n go.
Vur yurs an yurs, I've yer'd et^toule,
Way ghosts tiz v«l ez et kin hole,
An auff way vright ma hairth a stud
Ta yer tha things thits thare a dad :
Bit vust I bleeve et ez tha keace
Ez ywzhil ta dayzcribe tha pleace.
Wul, now I think I shant be vrong
Ta zay et ez a myell long,
An vul za ncrra ez a ditch —
In vack kin meake yer Ui hans titch
Pin tap tha badges hud's a graw'd
Za thick thit hang'th acrass tha rawd,
Zo thit tha zin kin niver com,

BE NATHAN HOGG. 4I

Bit ez inti-er zhet owt thervrom ;
An vurdermore tiz vu\ a zlotter,
An dree pairts auver shu in wotter;
Zo thee mit's guess twid be a trapse
Vor ort indtid way mort'l shapse ;
Zo vury zildim, nite nur day,
Be vokes zeed wdkin thicky way,
Exzep pin times wen thay'm foce put
^n blaidg'd ta meake a zhorter cut ;
Bit dm thic lane za zhore's thay'd pass,
Thay wid zom ayvil com acrass ;
In vflck I've yerd ma granfer zay
Thit wance ha com'd dru thic thare way,
Wile bringing horn zom eggs an butter,
Wen zomthin hat min in tha gutter ;
Ha niver yerd no zite nur zoun
Till thare nex maurnin ha wiz voun : —
Zom zed ha'd drink'd, bit twadd'n tr«,
Ha wadd'n no moar drunk thin yti.
Wul, now jist et tha tother end,
Uv Mucksy Lane, thare ez a bend
Thit layd'th inUt a lot a mowze
An thare stanth up a r«in'd howze
Ware, ef a hunder'd poAvn y?/'d give,
No crayt'r, now, wid dare ta live; —
Twiz quite anuff ta yer — aw laur ! —
Thar tales thit liv'd thare yurs avaur,
Tha last now lives pin ower heel —
Tarn Chidley an ez wive an cheel, —
Ut nat ez cheel vur I shud zay
Hur wadd'n baurn in thic thare day,
I've yer'd min zay, wen vust thay went
Ta live thare, zich a awvul zent
(Bowt twulve a clock) wid zhet in dr«
Tha kriveces an kay haul tti,

42

HUMERISS POAMS

Thit Tam an hiir id auff'n urn'd

Owt dores vur veer thay sh//d be burn'd ;

An dm tha rum thare wid be zich

A nasty zmul an vum an zmitch,

An wen thare lite thay wid put tti,

Tha cannel aul zim'd burnin bl« ; —

Zom zed weniver et wid rayn,

Tha zmul wid rish up dm tha drayn ; —

Yu'W zay wen aul ma story's owt :

Twiz spurrits tryin ta stink em owt :

Now vindin this wurk widd'n sar,

Tha spurritts dtid moar wisser \ar,

An tride be knack an crake an zlam,

Ta vrighten an ta dray've owt Tam :

No z/mer wid min be en baid

An tap tha piller ress thare haid,

Thin thare wid turn up zich a rattle

.4s ef whole urgmints was ta battle ;

Anuff ta turn, ez up Tam zot,

Moast ivry drap a blid ha'd got.

An zom times in tha dayd a nite

Thay kk'd an zeed a dredful zite.

Vul in tha airt thare waz a stud,

A faymale vorm — za hard's hur ctid —

A zinging aun way zich a noyze,

Yu niver yer'd vrim human voyze,

An wen tha winder up ha vling'd,

This yers tha zong ha zed hur zing'd : —

Wy are I dwm'd ta zich des]jare,
Ta wander in tha niidnite air,
Wayowt no hundercote nur hoze,
In vflck, entier way owt no cloze.

Aw ! I kil'd mo Inv in j-ers gaun bye,

An jer I are accordinlye.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 43

Iss ! I be bown vur ta bide an stare
Dree times a wick et thick chimber thare,
An if in case iny thare dith zlayp,
Aw ! I be bowu vur ta sife an wayp,

Yur I kil'd ma luv in yers gaxin bye,

^n now I'm punish'd accordinlye.

Iss, zhore, tis a vack, wat I now zay, »

I mix'd zum puyz'n in ez tay,

An the twadd'n naw'd, niver zinco I have

Bin abul ta zlayp in mee zilent grave.
Aw ! warnin teake be wat I zay,
Niver puyz'n put in yer luvyer's tay.

No zuner ad hur stap'd hur tone.
Than auff hur pitch'd ta sife ^n grone,
An ivry minnit gied owt zitch
A dredful, awvul, zort a skritch ;
An in thic spot, ur vurry nee'rt,
HuT'd stap (ees vath !) till up cockleert.
Wul, arter Tarn id lam'd tha zong,
Ta change ez lum ha wad'dn long.
An thare tha Gost went in ta zlayp,
Vur Tarn's wive yerd hur sife an wayp ;
Zom zed et wadd'n no zich thing,
Thit varmer Bazzel's mayde wid vling
A zheet aroun hur vorm, ^n how,
'Long way hur chap hur'd crass tha mow.
An wen tha winder up thay vling'd,
Hur t'waz thit sif'd an gron'd an zing'd.
Tarn auft ta naw thit yerd tha zong,
An now wul zwear tha vokes wis vrong ;
Vur, ez Tarn zeth " zich zounds, I'm drat,
How du min try ta cownt vur that ?
Ud yer'd tha Uin thay z«n wid naw't.
Cud niver com vrim aithly draut.

44 HUMERISS POAMS

Bit this beant aut thit -^uz tha bane
Uv this yer hauntid Muxy Lane. —
Tha ghosts, thay wid'n bin za ha<\
(Tho bed thay bee), ef Zat'n ad
Net in moast cr«el, awvul zhapse,
Ezzul tz^k'd up ta drayve cm. trapse.
Bit zo a did an mecy mee !
I V(3ncy now ez hwf I zee.
An pitchvork an ez eye uv vi-er,
Aul vrizzin ez a trayd'th tha mi-er,
Wen time ha com'd a girt bleck dog.
An bulchid vore a vi-er}' vog,
An wen wen nite yung Rebin Vinch
Wiz comin dn<, no net a ninch
Ez veet c?/d wm in thay thare rucks,
Up til ez ank'ls in tha mucks,
An wile way derkniss ha wiz blend,
Tha bleck dog cort'n hole behend ;
Ha skritch'd en p?^rd way girt ta ^u.
Till Zat'ns vengs zim'd ta brayk drw,
Wen auf ha urn'd en niver step
Till ha wiz rayly vit ta drep ;
An wen ha twk ez zmel things auf,
Tha zmul a burmstoan meade min kauff ;
^n ware ole Zat'ns vengs id urn'd,
Et Iwk'd ez ef et ed bin burn'd ;
An pin a pleace (inzide ez zmels)
Ess must net neame, ha vown dree seels,
Zom zed twiz vermer B's dog " Zhip,"
Thit d?/d et— thay dezar\''d tha wip ! —
Tem's naw et wadd'n quite za smel,
Ez net ta tul a bite vrim seel.
Anuther time et dayd a nite,
Will Mugvord zeed a dredvul zite,
An ha's a chep y« may zware by,

BE NATHAN HOGG.

Vur, eet, ha'th niver tole a lie ;
I've yer'd min zay ez blid wid curdle
Ta du't — ha cud'n vur tha wurdle.
Wan nite (I've yer'd tul tha tale)
Ha'd bin ta town an drink'd ez ale,
An comin horn be thicky pleace,
Ha yer'd way zich a zolem peace,
Zom bosses cktter dru tha mi-er,
Wich tiz'd, an vriz'd ez ef a vi-er ;
Ha got intz< tha veeld ta zee.
Wen thare, ha zeed, — aw macy mee ! —
Pin l«kin down intu tha raud,
A heace an muniin coches draw'd,
Way bosses thit ad got no haid —
Will niver veel'd za murch avray'd,
Vur pin tha vust, iss vatb ! thare lide,
A humman dress'd in wit, owtzide,
An ivry stap along tha way,
Zingin abowt tha puyz'nd tay :
Tarn Chidley zeed hur thic zeame nite.
Which zhaw'd Will Mugvord in tha rite.
Tha drayvers pin tha fumt boss zot,
An nat a haid id wan awm got ;
An aul awm zhet out zich a zent,
Thit Will vaVd auff tha badge quite vent,
An thare ha lide in wan tha mowz
Till maurnin com, ta vetch tha cowz ;
Thay vown'n like a badgebog roll'd,
Moast daid an steevin way tha cold,
Thay tak'n bom, put min ta baid,
Bit bee vur days wiz auff ez baid,
In vack, ha'd zit an kick an kauff,
A zwarin thit ez baid wiz auff.
Twiz zed, both in an owt a church,
Thit Will id ad a drap tu murch.

45

46 HUMERISS POAMS

An stid a zeein wat ha zaid,
Ha'd uny jist bin picksy laid ;
Bit tw^dd'n tn^, vur wot dee think,
Ha'd uny ad aight quarts ta drink,
Uv zyder, (I beleeve ez tale )
Bezides thic single quart uv ale ;
Uny a vair allowince, that,
Way twid'n skacely harm a cat !

Wul, now anuther keace I'll tull,
Uv wat ta Roger Vlint bevul,
Bezide thic Mucksy Lane : — Nat now,
Bit zom time back, ha'd got a mow ;
Ez vokes id bin thare aul tha day,
Along way hee, a makin hay ;
An Roger thort, ta git et vore,
Ha'd stay an ptik up zummat moar.
Wul, thare ha stay'd till vury late,
Wen aul ta wance, rite auver geate,
A vigger jump'd, ha zeed'n du't,
An naw'd 'n zz/n's a zeed ez v«t ;
Wul, arter'n urn'd a pack a houns,
Thit bulchid vire, twiz playn, be zouns,
Thit graw'd tu a unaithly yul,
Thay'd uny jist comd up vrim — wul !
Bit niver mine I veel ma veace
Tn vier}' git to tul tha pleace.
Now, skace a minnit did hur Iwk,
Bevaur et strik'd'n bout a p«k,
An ez on com'd tha cuss a man,
Ha zhet ez body under wan,
An thare ha Hde, wile uppermust,
Ez zayt, uv cus, wiz com'd tu vust ;
Laur ! zidd'nly, thare tap awn val'd,
A vut za hot, thit Roger scal'd
Za bad, thit vur a midlin bit,

BE NATHAN HOGG. 47

Ha cud'n nether lie nur zit ;
,Et vollems zpauk vur min, thit hee
Cud master kurridge vur ta bee
Za ayzy, an nat lowdly cal
Direc thit ha raysayv'd tha sc^l :
Ez mwvmints widd'n sqwat a egg,
In v^ck, ha didd'n m«v a peg ;
Ontil bim bye, brave vuUer, hee
Begin ta kainy oAvt an zee,
Detamind vur ta bide ez heff,
Ontil no skiddick awm wiz leff ;
• Then up a got, an horn a scri^ld,

An tuk ta bayd, zo thit (iss vay)
Ha c«d'n rize vur Ui't dree day ;
Tiz strange wat v;/ls thare bee in live —
Now, thic thare vttlish zex'ns wive
Zed Roger'd drink'd a cupple qwavt
A zyder moar thin thit ha ort,
Lide down, an vorty winks ha Uik,
An, wile ha zlayp'd benayth tha puk,
A dreem wiz umin in ez haid,
Thit ha wiz zeein wat ha zaid,
An et tha time, thic warm thit's blend,
(A zlawwrtrm,)* sting'd 'n irt behend ;
An, vurder-moar, (hur ed, et zeems)
Com'd jist ta wurk in way ez dreems ;
An dreemin zich a curyiss thing,
Wiz wak'd thic minit way tha sting;
Bit, dang ma butt'ns, arter al,
A sting beant nort tal like a seal.
An, vurder-moar, hur can't be vrite —
How cud a blendwarm zee ta bite ?

* The Slow-worm is, by the mstic population of onr county
generally supposed to be blind.

48 HUMERISS POAMS

Now things id com za mort'l had
Tam rayly thort ha sh7<d git mad,
Wen zidd'nly ez wive kinsayv'd
A way, thay thort, ta be relayv'd :
Hur voreway zend ta Pass'n Giles,
U uny liv'd a cupple myels,
Vur hee ta com direckly, most,
Ta zee ef hee c?/d lie tha gost ;
Tha nite thit hur wiz d« ta com,
Tha Pass'n way ez v«tmin Tom,
Com'd owt ta Tam's, an thare thay bide,
Tha winder drade aul aup'n wide ;
An zhore anuff, et twulve a'clock,
Tha gost hur stud thare like a stock,
An in tha glimmer uv tha mwn,
Agane strik'd up hur awvul tun ;
Tha P^ss'n then put aun ez gown,
Tam zed ha spos'd ha wid go down,
Tha Pass'n bid min hole ez hal,
Vur twid'n be no y?^s a tal,
Ta go za close, zo then ha zed —
(^n owt a winder put ez haid)
" Yung humman, be wat mort'l rite
Dist thee com yer nite arter nite? "
Ha ax'd hur zivril times, bit, no !
Hur wid'n nether spayk nur go ;
Tha Pflss'n then stap'd hack abit.
An tole ez vwtmin vur ta git
A tub a wetter, wich ha dud,
An way et be tha winder stwd ;
Tha P<7ss'n, then ha meade a crass,
An zed, " be quick an dra et vass ; "
When zidd'nly, wayout ad«,
Ha pitch'd tha t\xh-\u\ rite owt dru.
An way zich foce ez arm ha z'witch'd.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 49

Thit aul aw't t^p tha spurrit pitch'd.
My ivers ! zich a howl hur gied,
^n auf hur urn'd way veervul zpeed ;
Tha Passn way a zolem vow,
Zed hur wiz gaun vur iver now,
An arter gwayn down pin ez nees,
Zot down an ayt zom burd'n cheese ;
Then horn ha went, an nat avrayd,
Tarn an ez wive went up ta bayd ;
Bit scacely ad they zhet thare hyes
Bevaur thav ver'd tha zulf zeame cries,
An then thare com'd a awvul crczsh —
Tha Gost, tha chimber winder znush;
Tarn an ez missus then jump'd owt —
Put owt thare hayd an h<k'd abowt.
Bit n^t a vorm wiz ta be zeed,
Tha gost thit dz/d et ad a vleed.
Twiz zed by zilly voks ez how,
Jan Bazzel's may'd urnd t« tha mow.
An thit hur vtian, hide in tha grass,
Com'd in direct an brauk tha glass ;
Bit how, I ax, cud that be tru.
Wen nat a stone com'd iver dxu,
Bezfdes vur nites long arter that
Zich noyze thit gosts c//d only hat,
Wiz yerd drw chimley, winder, dore,
Tarn veel'd twid niver stap no m^oar, —
In vack ha got in zich a vright
Thit aul ez narv wiz d?^d outrite ;
^n bee tha Doctors awders hee
Wiz blaijed vrim thicky houze ta vlee.
I've zed now thit pin ower heel,
Ha's livin way ez wive an cheel ;
I've tole tha tn/th, bit if za bee,
Y« daunt think zo jist ax a hee.

HUMERI3S POAMS

Wul, now ma tale I must kinclwd.
Be zaying wat wiz aiter dziid ;
Tm wit-wiches vrim Exter Town
Wiz caVd ta lie ole Zat'n down ;
Thay dud zom things an got thare pay
yln then quite zartm went av/ay,
Thit thay'd a lide a\.\\ ayvils down;
Bit macy me unt/^ this day
Tis prwv'd twiz niunny drade away,
vln if yu'd wish ta zee tha zite,
Jist in the lane bit zlayp wan nite;
If thicky thing yw'll uny du
Yu'W think aul I've a zed ez tru ;
Wich hevin zed I zay, — ad« !

Jfteaster f?ogg in a Eurlteg ISatfj^

I zaid avaur thit I wid give,
That ez ef time wid let mer live,

Wich, thank tha Laurd, at hath,
A zort a noshin onta yti,
Uv wat a vrend an me went dru,

V/ile in a Turkey Bath.

Nat veelin auver wul wan day

A vrend a mine zeth, " Wat dee zay

Ta teake a Turkey Bath ? "
" A Turkey Bath," zeth I, " wat's that? "
Zeth hee " Et lessen'th down yer vat;"

Zeth I, " Nat I, no vath ! "—

BE NATHAN HOGG.

" Way aiv'n now I be za thin
Thit like a rishlite I've a bin

Vur aighteen munths ur zo !
D'ee think I went ta zwet ta nort.
An drippy like a bladder a mort

Hang'd be tha vi-er ? Aw no ! "

Zeth hee, " Now daunt be zich a v«l !
A chop way worn I went ta sk«I

Ad wan tha tother day ;
An wen ha com'd out arter that
Ha zed ez how ha cud jump, scat,

Auver a rick a hay."

" Ef that's a vack," zeth I, " wull vath ! "
I'll go an ha a Turkey Bath;

Vurnashin sayz ma wig !
Wen harviss com'th an I go hom,
Way thicky jump, I'll vright'n zom

An want min think ma big? '.'

Wul auf ez zot, ma vrend an I,
Ta ware tha Turkey places lie,

Pin tap a David's heel ;
Ess went int« a geard'n thare,
Ware watter play'd up in tha hare.

Out dru a pipe a steel.

Thic pipe wiz urnin aul aroun

An drade tha watter tap tha groun.

In a moast purty way ;
Zeth I, " Wat meak'th 'n turn abowt
An dra tha watter in en out ? "

Zeth hee, " Wul, I shwd zay

51

52 HUMERISS POAMS

Tha vuller's turnin aw'n inzide ;
Tis tap a thicky pipe y«'ll ride,

Tha vust thing thit yw'Il du."
Zeth I, " Aw ez et ? I'll be 6a\ !
Ef yu ketch mee up thare ta va\

In zich a aup'n v« ? "

I zeed'n laff, zeth he, " Com aun,
Twiz uny jist a bit a vun."

An wen ess drade up ni-er,
A chap com'd out an bee ez way
Ha tz^k'd ess vur (zo I shz^d zay !)

A naub'lmin an squire.

Ess went in zide an told'n how

Ess waz com'd up — ha gied a bow —

Ta ha a Turkey Bath ;
" Iss zoce ? " ha zed, way out ta du,
" Thare's dressin r«ms vur both a yu."

Zeth I, " Laur, ez thare vath? "

Wul, in ess went, twiz vury nayt.

An drade me things down pin tha zayt.

An zun id got noan awn ;
Ess tide a apr'n roun ma waste,
An went outzide wen, way girt haste,

I voun ma vrend wiz gaun.

Out com'd tha chap an shaw'd ma vore
Intu a r«m way hzt'dn viore,

An tole ma tu zit down ;
So down a pin a chare I zot
An veer'd, et waz za mort'l hot,

I sh«d a val'd ta groun.

/

BE NATHAN HOGG.

Bit z«n ess got yews'd ta tha hait,
An laynj'd quite nice back in tha zayt,

A raydin aw tha nuz ;
Ess zun got in a blessed yet
An then my eyes ! down urn'd tha zwet

In big drisps moast purfz^z.

I zun wiz blaijed ta zayce ta rayd,
Tha dmps urn'd down ma veace an haid,

^n iv'ry uther zide,
Pin taY> tha paper, til et \u\Cd
Ez if yii ad a bin an t«k'd

An got thic paper vried.

Ez vur mezul, ess zwet za vest,
An thort thit long et cud'n last

Ef thit tha hait got hi-er;
Ez vur ma vrend ha'd zwettin been
Ontil ha b^k'd a long zixteen

H(2ng'd up bevaur tha vi-er.

Wul zun tha vuller thit wiz put
Ta \uk ta us, wiz blaijed ta cut,

An auff ez dress ha vlings ;
An wen ha com back ware ez zot,
Ha zed tha kay ess cd vurgot

Uv ware ess keep'd our things.

Ha didd'n think wat ha wiz bout
^n com'd ta mee an hold'n owt —

Zeth I, " Bee y« za green
Ta think I bant like yu a drade, —
Thit natur ith a bin an meade

Zom pokkits in ma skin? "

53

54 HUMERISS POAMS

Ha hang'd'n up agin tha wa\,
Then hee, ess zul turn'd tu ta va\

A zwettin way ess tu ;
Aw ! niver zhure wiz zich a reace,
Et layst in iny aithly pleace,

Uv zwetin dr« an dr«.

Wul twenty minnits thare ess stop'd,
Ontil anuff ess ad a drcp'd,

Ur wot tha chap thort vit ;
Then in anuther r«m ess went,
I thort I shwd a val'd down vent,

Ez down ess tride ta zit.

Tha chare wiz graw'd za mort'l hot
Thit, vrit'nd zore, I quickly got

Pin tap ma legs agane ;
Axi Iwkin roun mee vrend ta zee,
I quickly zeed thit alzo hee

Wiz zufferin girt payn.

Ha urn'd out in tha tother pleace,
An laur ! wiz meakin zich a veace,

Vur hee wiz scal'd tha wiss ;
Ha zed ha tort the skin wiz brauk,
An then no zzmer id ha spauk

Bevaur ha'd gin ta twiss.

Wul, wen zom waz a drade,

An both tha zaytz wiz cz/ler meade,

Down in em then ess zot ;
Zeth I, " Ole chap lets ha a drink !
How long now wul et bee, dee think,

Avaur ess gits urd hot?

BE NATHAN HOGG. 55

Vur in a vair way ess he vur't ;
Way, arter this, a vuller's zhirt

Want zit pin tap ez back ;
An aul tha nayt things thet ess wared,
Wen ess com'd in, et may be zwared

Ull vit ess like a zack."

Wul, aul to wonce I gied a \uk,
An thort I rayly shud a t«k

An vaVd auf vrom mee zayt.
Thare waz mee vrend a awvul vu —
Green pink, an yeller, urd an biz; —

Zeth I, " Yur ! ! stop tha hait ! ! "

Zeth both, " Wat ez tha metter way ? "
" Way dammet stap tha hait I zay ! ! !

Be blend, ur kiss'n zee?
Ha'th got tha Kolra safs a nit,
An uny wait a litt'l bit

A day'd man ha'll bee."

" Laur? " zeth tha m^n, ?/ ad stap'd vore,
" How yuWe a vrighten'd ma be zhore —

I skace kin mtrv a stap ;
D'ee zee thic culler'd winder thare
Wul W(2t yu zee ez bit tha glare

Thit pin yer vrend ith drap."

I veel'd raylayv'd, pirtickler wen
I zeed tha culler'd panes, an then

Zot down ta zwet wance more ;
Vur I beleeve thit, way tha vright,
Tha draps id stap'd thare urnin qvv'ite, —

Ytt laffs, bit thay ad zhore !

56 HUMERISS POAMS

Wul, zun agane, za big ez pays
Thay urn'd, I'm zhore, and didn' zayce

Vur haf a nower ur moar ;
Ma vrend (vur ha wiz d«d tha vust)
Wiz tole ez how thit plaze ha must

Ta tuther rum step vore.

Wul, in ha went, I voller'd ztin,
An thare ez w^z in thicky nim

Vur twenty minnits zit ;
Thiz wiz tha u(m ez zwet in vust,
Vur (zo tha vuller zed) ez must

Ta cu\y bit be bit.

Tha vuller zed ma vrend wiz dud,
Way ap'rn auf then up ha stz^d

Za nakid's ha cud bee ;
Then pin ez back, up tap a binch,
Tha vuller rub'dn inch be inch ;

Twiz mort'l vun ta zee.

Wul, wen pin tap ez veet ha got,
A pipe way watter cole an hot,

Wiz vi-erd irt at ez back ;
Laur, jayly cry ! bevaur cz/d zay
" Jack Rabinsin," ha rishd away —

I thort mee zides wid crack.

That vuller then urn'd arter hee,
An zed, " Now, zir, this mus'n bee,

Ur ulse t'll meake he bad."
Ha tuk'n back, an way zich foce
Gid'n anuther colder dose,

Wich zim'd ta draive'n mad.

BE NATHAN HOGG.

" ^h ! boo ! aw ! zs-s-sh ! ! " out loud a cride,
(I raily thort I must a dide !)

" Yttve tuk away mee breth."
" T'll dz^'ee gz<;de ; com long a mee,
Tha nex a qwarter-pairt went bee

Za had," tha vuUer zeth.

Ha tuk min in anuther pleace,

^n shet tha dote thay had'n skeace,

Bevaur my vrend zing'd owt ;
I yer'd ez voyce com dn< tha wal
Za lowd ez iver ha cud ha\,

Thinks I, " Wat bee min bout."

I vury zun tha zaycrit naw'd,
Tha vuller zun com in an draw'd

Ma up pin tap tha binch ;
An wen, ez I've dayscib'd, ha d^^d.
Then down pin tap ma veet I stud

An zwar'd I wid'n vlinch.

Ha tak tha pipe an vust let owt
Zom warmish w^ztter aul abowt

Tha heels, an back, an haid ;
Zeth I, " I rayther likes this yer —
Twid aivn meake a cat ta pur

Tho watter makes min vray'd."

I hadn' scacely 'ad that thort
Bevaur tha vuller id a brort

Tha pipe way aul ets foce ;
An then, my ivers, did'n ha zlotter,
Vrim tail ta tap nat, tha cole watter

Laur jay ! Twiz awvul, zoce ;

57

58 HUMERISS POAMS

" Dammet ! " zeth T, " wy daunt'ee stop ! "
I thort I rayley must a drop

Vur vury want a breth;
Bit, howsimiver, I hold aun,
An wen tha watter waz aul gaun,

Ont« tha chap I zeth,

" Now, hark ta mee, I bant agwain
In thicky rum ta zuffer payn —

I've ad anuff owt yer ;
I yer'd ma vrend zing owt jist now,
An kick up a moast awvul row,

Zeth hee, " I'll tuU'ee, zir !

" Tant minny genelmen kin stan
A drap a waiter like a mun;

Yti've stud et mort'l wul !
Thares uny now a 'ditchy ' bath.
An arter that yu'U com owt vath

Vresh ez no tung kin tul."

Wull, in ess went, an then ha shet
Et layst up twenty qwarts a wet

Ez cole ez cole cud be.
Zeth I, "Y» want, I zee et wul,
Ta turn mer tu a conkerbul,

Ef nat, tez murch ta mee."

Ha rub'd ma doun, an then ha tost
A whit sheet roun ma like a gost,

Ta be no vurder mal'd ;
Ha went aun, zo I voller'd hee,
Ontu a mm (now less me zee)

A Friz-me-daryum cal'd.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 59

Wul yer ess zot zom time ta dry,
An veel'd zich comfirt com, aw my !

I c«d'n understffn ;
I vancid Gip wiz nat mee dogg,
An thit I wad'n N^jthan Hogg,

Bit zom murch stronger man.

Ess went an dress'd, and veel'd tha wile
Vit vur a walk uv twenty mile,

An playvul ez a cat ;
Et did'n vlicker like a vleame,
Vur ITcintenid just tha zeame

A vortnite crter that.

Mtt f icftter tuH ht %iQ\it.

Yuve zeed thic pickter tap me huk !
Wul, thicky wan in ink wiz t?<k

An vorm'th a hansim zite ;
Bit, Laur a macy ; yu shud zee
Thic pickter thits a twk be mee,

Way, wat d'ee think ? — Tha light !

Bit stop, I be bevaur me tale,
An wid'n vur tha wurdle vail

Ta tul thur how vacks stud ;
Et laist za var ez wat I naw,
Vur tid'n auf thay likes ta shaw
How thit zich things be d«d.

6o HUMERISS POAMS

WuU, then, yer goth ! tha t'other day
A vrend a mine zeth, " Yer, I zay,

Now ! sposin yz/ shud die ? "
" My hyes ! " zeth I, " wat duee tul —
Way, I be veelin crewel wul —

Why, dw'ee ax now, wy ? "

I awn I veel'd zummat avraid —
Jist vancy me among tha dayd

Thit veel'd za mort'l wul !
Ontil ha zed, " Now, hark ta wat
{An inwardly dayjest et, Nat !)

I now be gwain ta tul."

Zeth hee, " w^nce moar, ez Ive a zayd,
Zipposin now that yu wiz dayd,

Way nether chick ner cheel,
Ta zav thay hansim vaytyers an
Way uther girt-men vur to stan —
Wet wid tha wurd'l veel?

" Now, jist in iny winder l«k,
Y^^'ll zee aul girt men ha bin twk

Exzeptin uv yerzul ;
Eet arter aul in iny pleace,
Thin thine thare id'n a purty'r veace,"

Zeth I, " Ha rayzn'th wul ! "

" Mee vrend," zeth I, ez down I zot,
" Wat yu've a zed shawth y«'ve a got

A hayd thit's dinged aun wul ;
Tez tiu mee vaityers — nat a line —
Bant, wan awm, uv a hordney kine,

Altho' I zay't meezul ! "

BE NATHAN HOGG. 6 1

" Ez vur tha wurd'l vath. ! I veel,
Nat hevin nether chick nor cheel

Way vaytyers like thare dad ;
Ta layve nort uv tha likes a mee
(In keace I shz/d'n morry'd bee),

Tiz zarvin voks tu had.

Ta marra maurnin, playze tha pigs,
Out in ma bestest close I rigs

This yer nayt vorm a mine ;
An then ta Angels vore I'll jogg
Vur hee ta teake mee an tha dogg —

Tha pickter wui be vine ! '"

Nex maurnin com, an dress'd za nayt,
Ess went up in tha Higher Strayt,

An et tha shop ess stap ;
Ess striteway went in d\u tha dore
When a moast purty mayd step vore

A kertchy vur ta dxap.

Twiz zartin bee tha way hur Iz^k'd
Az ef hadmirin) thit her tuk'd

Met vur a Laurd er Zur;
I dx'd hur ef za bee I c«d
Ha Gips an me awn pickter d?/d,

" Aw zartinly ! " zeth hur.

Hur vur a minnit went away,

Wen her com down an zeth, " I zay,

I'm zorry vur ta keep
A ginelmen like y« za long.
Bit up stares thare's a riglir throng —

Up aight ur mine awm deep."

62 HUMERISS POAMS

Zeth I, " Wul I daunt metter that,"
And then I aup'nd up a chat,

An tttk a glimpse aroun ;
" Way laur ! " zeth I, " u wid a thort,
Zep pickters, vur ta zee nat nort,

Vrim zaylin tu tha groun ? "

Chuck vu\, ez wul, tha winder waz,
Zeth I, " Mee deer, now I'll be doz !

Yul yewze up aul the lite ;
An wid'n et bee a purty lark
Ta layve tha wurd'l in tha dark

An turn tha day ta night."

Hur zim'd ta think this mort'l c«t,
Tride nat ta zmile, but cwd'n du't,

An then hur laff'd owt rite;
Ez murch ez, zo I thort, ta zay
" Ha ttzlk'th in a moast cliver way

About tha dark an lite,"

Wul, crter I'd a htk'd about

An ad zom girt voks pointed out —

Tti minny vur ta tul ;
Her ax'd ef I wid go up stair —
Zeth I, " Mee purty, I daunt care,"

Zo then hur ring'd tha bul.

A veller com'd thay cal'd a page ;
" A page," zeth I, " way wat's ez age ?

Ha'th got a hanshint Iwk ! "
Hur laff zo thit her cwdn't stap —
" A page ? " zeth I " wat thicky chap ?

Moar like a vu\ graw'd bwlT! "

BE NATHAN HOGG. 63

Ha shaw'd mur up intu a ram?
Zich tiddivation an purfam

I nivir zeed avaur ;
I zot way hat atween ma nees,
Wile Gip wiz moast avraid ta sneeze ;

Et waz za vine, aw laur I

Tha chop thit shawd ess up, zeth hee,
Yu want yer pickter twk'd, I zee.

" Iss zhure ! tha dog ez wul,"
Zeth I, " how kin em teake a vu
Uv Gip an me, or eet uv yu ? "

Zeth he, " Now, want'ee tul ? "

" No, pin me zaul, I want, me man ?
I zeth, and hold'n out me han

And gied ez aun a zheake ;
Ha whispered law an zeth ta mee,
" I'll tuU thur moar thin thee wiss zee

Bit daun't tul vur my zeake !

" Ef yu mist naw, in zummer days,
Thay bottlt'h up tha zinny rays

Until thay've villed em vul ;
Then cork'th em up most mort'l tight
Zo thit there ez ziffishent lite

Vur winter days ez wul.

" Wul then thay dra tha shadder in
Tha middle uv tha bottled zin,

An then dra'th owt tha cork ;
Tha shfldder then rish'th owt pin tap
An pin a peece a paper drap,

An then they've din thare work.

64 HUMERISS POAMS

" Yer go'th, I yer tha Angels trayd,
A comin down vrim auver hayd,

Now zit still ware yw bee ;
Bee zshore yu keep yer mowthe a shet
An nat let out a zingle bit

Uv wi2t ywve yer'd a mee."

A ginelman way beard p«rfuz
Com'd in an dud tha " How de dws,"

An zed " plaize voller mee ! "
Another story up ha went,
An, aw ! I zmel'd a plezint zent,

Ez quick I voller'd hee.

I got up tap, an thare I zeed
Kinarys uv tha purtiest breed —

I niver yer'd zich thing;
An, ez I stap'd '\ntu tha pleace,
Thay zim'd ta zay, " Aw ! yers a keace !-

Tez Nathan ! Let ess zing ? "

An zo thay did in fust-reate style,
I h^kin round mer aul tha wile

Ta zee tha purty zight ;
Zes I ta Gip, an tu mezul,
A vuller zsh?^r muss hik up wul,

'Ef nat ha idd'n vright

Tha burds, tha plants, tha vurnitur,
L«k'd aul za gran, thit I zed, " Yer,

Yu Gip ! Zit zide a mee ; "
Vur hur {yu naw tez like hur cheek)
Zim'd as hur ad bin thare a week

An homly zim'd ta bee.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 65

Wan zide uv ware I vust went in
Thay keeps, thinks I, tha bottled zin,

An zo I ad a peep ;
An thare I zeed tha measter teake
A bottle an jist gie a zheake

Uv wet ha thare did keep.

Ha zeed mer kking, an, zeth hee,
" Et idd'n auf'n ess let's zee

Tha voks wat ez be bout ;
Bit ez y« zims a kmid m^n,
An ez I naw'd yer Brither ]an —

I wul, vur zeake a hee.

Yu zee ez keepth out all tha zin,
Bit wat 6tu yeller kin git in,

Vur that's tha uny light;
An ef twiz other culler'd glass,
Tha zort a light wid niver pass

Ta bring yer vorm ta zight.

Wul then, ha zeth — " Now l?^k dee zee
An this acktinism bee,

Vur now I teake a pleate ; "
" Uv kus," zeth I, " I zee it qwite,
'Tis wat yum hactin, now, aul vright,

Yu need no vurder steate."

Ha'd got a zmal plate in ez han,
An then ha put min in a stan,

Thay cal'd a zilver bath;
" A Turkey Bath I've ad, thinks I,
Bit now I, yer, in zilver lie —

I'm gittin up, iss vath ! "

66 HUMERISS POAMS

" Wul, com outzide, an now zit down '
An daunt put aun a zingle vrown

Wile I be hocussin ; "*
Thinks I, " wat du er main be that,
Ha's gwain ta put, ef nat I'm drat,

Zom puyz'n in zim gin.

Bit vust uv aul, I sh«d a told

Ha zshaw'd a thing thit wid stick hold-

New-maddickf twaz ha zed ;
" Aw, wul ! " zeth I, " that's vury wul.
Bit tha old-maddick vur mezul, —

Wat dig'th tha Moret'n rid."t

Wul, az ess zed, ess went out thare
Ware vust ess went an t?^k a chare —

Zeth he " Zit ware y« bee ;
Be zure yu daunt now stur a stump,
Nur gie a wink, nur meake a jump,

Ur a picktur y«'ll bee ;

" Jist put yer haid agin this thing,
An tuther zide tha vace jist bring —

Iss ! now yw'm vitty meade ; "
Zeth I, " Tha last time I wiz told
Ta put mee hay'd in zich a hold

I ad a tttth a drade."

* Focussing. f Pneumatic. J A well known potato.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 6}

Wul thare I zot, an zo did Gip,
When aul ta vance her gied a skip,

Ta ha zom other b/k ;
Tha konsekins uv this yer rin,
Wiz thit thay c«d'n point tha zin

^n zo hur wad'n tuk.

Ez vur mezul, ha zed I waz

Tuk purty-wul ; bit aw, I'm daz !

Et (zrterwirds wiz shawn,
Thit stid of wan nauze I ad tu,
Way vower eyes (mowthe aup ta vu !)

I'd muv'd an gied a yawn.

Another pleate ha went an got,
An Gip an mee aul proper zot,

Zeth he " Yu'm yer aul vright ;
In thicky dark rum I'm agwain
Ta git tha devil up* agane,

Cuz ha want com bee light."

" Cry jay ! " zeth I, " let's go down stairs.
Daunt let min naw uv my avairs,

^n wen ha's gone zend down ;
Ef thit mee pickter I'd a naw'd
Tha devil wid a com an draw'd,

I'd stayed et home, I'm boun ! "

Ma spurits then ha did appayz,

An zed " Now zit yer mine et ayze,

Ha wont com out ta yu ; "
Bit till ha haup'd tha dore agane,
Yu cud ha kill'd mer way a cane,

I zsh«ke zo, dm an dru.

* Develope.

68 HUMERISS POAMS

Ha zun com'd out, an in a case
Tha nigmative* et wcnce did pleace

Ta zMcky up tha light ;
Wile this wiz din, ha zeth, " Com zee
Tha way ess dith et aul, way me,

Com aun an zee tha zight ! "

Ha shaw'd mer vrim pleace to pleace,
An put awn a most zmilin veace,

Ez ef ha shawd a D«k ;
Altho I did'n ware no crown,
No dowt thit wen ha shaw'd mer roun,

Ha thort like wan I l^^k.

Wul, arter zeein lots a things,
IntM a Tum merzul ha brings,

Ware zich a purty may'd
Wiz tiching up a riglar gent —
(Ez pickter I shtcd zay) — way paint,

Thit b«tivul wiz lay'd.

An in another pleace a chap
Wiz roUin aun, an diddn' stop

Tha time thit I wiz thare ;
Wile dr?^ tha thing, ha tum'd about,
Tha pickters went, an then sheen'd out

Like hoil apin tha hare.

* Negative.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 69

Thick minnit doun anuther zwul
Com'd way a pickter uv mezul —

"Wat dud za zun? " zed I.
Wul zo ha ez — a purty zight, —
Tha dog an me t^^k aul be light —

" VVurraw ! " zeth I, " my heye ! "

Wul, now I've tole thur all tha zight
I zeed wile ess wiz tuk'd be light,

An now zoce if za bee
Yu want ta zee a honzim veace,
Yu better go tu Angel's pleace,

An thare yu can zee mee !
Nat uny mee — that's Measter Hogg-
Bit yu kin aulzo zee tha dogg.

STfja IStfnton ffiost.

In auder tu zhet vore ma rime
Naw, vrends, thit wance a pin a time,
A Gost appeer'd in Kent'n Town —
A litt'l pleace, zom zeb'n mile down,
Vrim Exter, ware wan Tuckett dwult
U aiv'n Gosts ta nort c«d mult ;
An et us nod, ur wink, ur kauff,

7© HUMERISS POAMS

Ole Zat'ns zul wid quick urn aufF;

Ur pr«ps, tha plainer wurds ta put,

Tha vury devil eszul wid cut

Bit vust uv aul ta kleer tha keace

I mit ez wul dayscribe tha pleace.

Tha main-pairt ez a long-ful strait —

(No metteer ez ta yeards ur veet)

An haf awt wul, pin zarch, be vown,

Meade uv porrish, bur-yil grown,

Ware vullijers kin zware bee hosts

Thay've yerd an mit way rayal Costs.

7've yerd ole granfer Bickvord zay

Thit wance, a pin ez homwird way,

Jist et tha zolim midnite how'r

Ha yer'd a voyce zay vrim tha tow'r —

" Now Granfer, meake haste horn — d'ee yer !

Thee hast no rite away vrim hur."

An wen ha got hom yer'd tha larm

Thit ez ole dumman'd brauk hur arm.

An wan time urdlier thin that

Ha zeed a large tu hayded cat

A pin a tumstone stud upvrite,

An holdin owt ez veests ta vight ;

Ez Gran'fer stttd thare, like a stone,

Ha yer'd tu voyces zay — " Com aun ! "
Ha'd bin a gude man in ez day —
But " vite way Costs," zeth hee, " laur jay ! — "
Ha did'n care ta ha a scat
Wen thare wiz nort a tal ta hot.
Wul, then, I've yerd ole Churry* Hares,
U dud a trade in grocer)- wares,
Zware thit wan nite, wen gwain ta bald,
Ta tother zide ware waz tha daid,

* Charitv.

BE NATHAN HOGG. 7 1

Hur rayly thort hur must a dide

Ta zee, jist ware hur ole man lide,

A lite aul hlu an whit aszend

Ez if ets hight wid niver end ;

Ez zun ez hur begind hur pray'rs

Hur Jan's voyce zings out — " Churry Hares !

luuk in tha geard'n, gie dree nocks,

An, wen yti yer ma ca\, a box,

Wul, Churry deer, ta aize ma zaul,

Spring tu thy vut up dru a haul ;

Thares veefty poun thit I'd a zave

Bevaur I went ta me zilent grave; —

I shud a told'ee et tha nick-

A-time bit waz tuk'd auff tu quick."

Jist then hur yer'd a clap a thinder ;

An in her vright shet tti tha winder

Tha Hte went out, hur went ta baid

An yer'd no moar uv tha ole man daid.

I ax'd hur how about the nocks,

An if hur voun tha munny box ;

Hur tole mer way a zorravul veace

Hur'd gied dree nacks bit twad'n tha pleace.

In vack hur'd n^ck'd tha geard'n auver

Bit cud'n tha hydid guld dayscover ;

Eet, strong in vayth, ta tha day hur dide,

Hur wid'n beleeve ez Cost id lide;

Hur miss'd tha spot thit exack ha neamed.

Bit et wad'n hee thit waz ta be bleamed,

Vur, tha vorty yur thit hur wiz ez wive,

Ha'd niver tole hur a lie in ez live,

An za zshore ez hur ole cat wid purdle.

Ha wid'n du et in tother wurdle ;

Bit I'll nack an neck, tha ole zaul zed,

Vur et layst et'U tul tha ole man dayd,

The et dith no aithly g«d ta mee ;

72 HUMERISS POAMS

I honnerd tha lass vvurds zed be hee.

I've tole thur aul bout Churry Hares,
An how th'ole dumman ad hur cares,
An now I'll gie a kease ur tu
Ta zhaw wat Costs an Goblins dw ;
An ez yu'm in a hurry'd way
I'll tul tha tale uv Vanny Bray.
Now V<7nny waz a quiet zaul
[7 burn'd up hud insteed a kaul,
Becuz tha wan wiz got vur nort —
Tha tother, ez hur zed, wiz bort ;
Zo uv tha tu hur 'd rayther vix
Apin tha kwse uv pickin sticks.
Time waz wen ginelvokes wid give
Tha pore abowt tha chance ta live,
Dr« winter, vree vrim laygil harm
Vur pickin sticks ta keep min warm,
Ontil the Cownty Pleecemen com
An tuk tha comfirts vrim yer horn.
Hud pickin in tha gud old time,
Wiz, honisty bit now tez krime,
Brort in bee zich ez Lady Raull —
The Laurd ha macy pin her zaul ! —
I yer'd a pore hz^dpicker zay,
U tu tha pur'zn vown ez way,
Becuz ha'd tuk ontu eszul,
T«penner'd wat tha badgers vui.
Uv kuse a la wul com in zun
Ta zend zich vellers tu tha mtm,
Ware wan pore chap, zo ess be told,
Ith in thic disimul dwullin roU'd
Vur hevin, wen twiz cole an windy,
Pick'd up a stick ur tu pin Zindy; —
I'd zend min, if et waz my keace,
Stright t« tha mun ta pr«v thur keace ;

BE NATHAN HOGG. 73

An, in zich zma\, meade up, ofvences

Jist meake min pay thur aun hexpenses. —

Bit stop ! I'm urnin auff yz^'ll zay

An wat about old Vanny Bray ?

Wul, Vanny wad'n ta be dud

Owt uv hur ktis uv pickin hud ;

Tha Pleecemen n«'d hur, bit " No Go ! "—

Hur'd zmul min vur a mile ur zo,

An zo vur yurs hur sticks hur scrap'd

An vrom thare tender macies scap'd.

An hur minz^vers thay wiz zich

Twiz zed thit Vanny w^zs a witch.

An being zich a rummy crony

Must ha, uv k«s, a girt dail munny.

But thares a Pleecemin u wan day

Laid hees girt veest tap Vanny Bray,

This Pleecemin wadd'n dress'd in hXu

Way butt'ns urning aul down dxu :

Ha ha'd nat no kudgil in ez han

Way wich to meake ofvenders stan!

Ez trayd wiz misher'd, varm an zlaw,

Ez zlightest tich a nack-down baw;

A conkerbul waz iv'r}' breth,

Thick Pleecemin's name, me vrends, wiz Deth.

Aul zilent roun hur he'd a gaun —

Hur niver yur'd min zay muv aun !

An zo it ez vrim day ta day

Ess lives aun in a careliss way

Twiz vur this zulf-zeame careliss way

Tha Pleecemin Deth tuk Vanny Bray.

Tez tr« hur got int« a vix

Bit nat vur pickin a vu sticks; —

Wat waz et then's tha queshin gib'n

Thit keep'd pore Van vrim gwain ta Heb'n;

Vur hur wiz zeed, ur ulse thay lide,

74 HUMEKISS FOAMS

In her ole houze, tha nite hur dide,

An et her winder, iv'ry nite,

Vur wicks thare vfaz a dark urd lite,

An twulve o'clock, za zaffs a gun,

An zomtimes up za late ez wen,

Hur at hur winder wid appeer

Ez if hur'd rauze up vrim hur beer ;

An thare hur'd stay, vul haf tha nite,

Wrapp'd up in a most awful lite.

Wen aul ta wance hur'd vlash away,

Ez Cockleert wid zshet vore ets ray.

Wan nite, jist arter hur wiz gaun,

Jan Morrish way ez nite-kep aun,

L«k'd in tha rum an zmul'd a zmul

^n vur wicks arter wad'n v;ul ;

An, wen ha com'd owt vrim tha dark,

ylpin ez nite-kep waz a mark

Uv wich yuWe niver zeed tha veller —

Uv kws twiz Brimstone cuz twis yeller.

Wul zim. tha nz^s got aul abraud,

An iv'ry nite tha midd'l raud

Wiz dring'd bee zich a haiger host

Uv vokes ta zee tha Kent'n Gost !

A Methadee pass'n ad a pray

Ta draive por Vanny's Gost away.

Bit nat a bit a yus wiz that

Vur arter aul thare, eet hur zot.

Twiz zed hur wid'n laive hur purch

Cuz Pass'n C. warn't in tha church.

Wan day tha darter uv pore Van

Ta Exter com ta zee tha man

Cal'd Tuckitt, an ti nawd tha way,

Twiz zed, a hunder'd gosts ta lay.

Thick man, I've zed, wiz zurnamed Tuckett,

An wance id voun Van's darter's buckett;

BE NATHAN HOGG. 75

Ha gid hur zivril litt'l stoans,

Tide in a hag, an zed Van's boans

Wid nack agin hur kaufBn lid, —

That's if za be hur darter did

Zay " Picksy, Wicksy, Rum, Turn, Tee ! " —

Twice vur aich stone, — no metter dree.

Tha spurrit then wid yur tha boans,

An, arter gie'n a vu groans,

Hur vorm strite vore, Hke zmauk, wid curd'l

An strite hur'd meake vur tother wurd'l.

Hur tride tha wize man, horn hur com,

An, vrom hur pocket, tuk therevrom

Tha stoans thit I've a tole ta y«

An then begin'd ta tul min dru;

An' ez hur vinish'd " Rum, Tum, Tee,"

A lot a vokes, ez wul ez she,

Yer'd ole Van's voyce zing out quite loud.

An zeed hur vorm roll, like a cloud,

Irt auff, on niver zince thick nite

Hev vokes a zeen zich veervul zite.

Zom zed tha mzm way k«ryiss lite

Wiz tap tha winder sheenin brite ;

An thare wiz other vokes thit vow'd

Twiz nort exzep a vleetin cloud,

An pin tha m«n a mwvin pass

Drade down ets shadder tap tha glass ;

An thit tha rain com'd aun, thick nite,

An vrom thick time tha kwryiss lite

Vrim that zole kauze cd zays'd ta bee

An nat vrim Wicksy, Rum, Tum, Tee !

76 HUMKRISS POAMS

Efja ^xtcr Saujers.

Laast Zinday mornin' up ta Exter I goes

Vor ta zee brither Jan in 'is saujerin' clothes ;

Zo I zwacks up an' down an' all the town roun',
An' ta laast up tap Nor'n'ay the hosebird I voun',

Fol de rol lol, fol de rol lol,

Fol de rol liddle lol, fol de rol, lol.

La ! Jan was zo alter'd in 'is saujerin' dress
I should'n a knaw'd Jan if a 'adn' spok' fuss ;

The kep o'n was leather so cousse an' so large

An' 'is burches was made o' the coussest blue sarge.

Chorus —

Now into the ranks they was order'd to val,

They was strite as a line, they was 'pon my sawl !

The music strook'd up, an' the cap'n cried " March ! "
An' they all vaced about an' walk'd intu the church.

Chorus —

Resolved was I tu zee St. Peter's dru-out

Zo I gie'd a chap a shillin' to shaw me about;

'E shaw'd me the organ, the bones an' the bell.

An' a 'underd things more that gude Laurd I can't tell

Chorus —

BE NATHAN HOGG. 77

As it graw'd towards aivnin I yer'd the vokes zay
That up pin tap Nor'n'ay the band it would play ;

Zo I zwacks up pin Nor'n'ay and when I got there,
Why Lor ! you'd a thort 'twas some rayl* or some fair !

Chorus —

Vor up come tu gurt men wi' tu gurt steel pans.

And' there pin tap Nor'n'ay they took up their stan's

'An they made jis a row wi' their rickety rock

I'd a made a better noise 'pon mi granny's ole crock

Chorus —

The aufficers was wi' the ladies a walkin'

They'd a little a drink'd I could zee by their talkiii' ;

The ladies wear'd veathers an' ribbins pin tap.

You'd a thort aich maid's 'aid was a milliner's shop ;

Chorus —

Zo I zes to brither Jan, " If this be the way
You vokes up ta Exter du spend the Lord's day

An' if it be true what our passen dith tell,

I'll be dall'd if you baint on the right road to ! "

Chorus —

* Eevel.

NOTE.

Two of the greatest peculiarities in the Devonshire
Dialect are the pronunciation of the u and a, as in the
Scotch "g«de" and the English "cat." The "u"
and " a " not italicised are pronounced as in " full "
and " fate." The next nearest appoach to u is eu in
the French word " peu" and, strange to say, it is
not met with in the dialect of any other county in
England. " Th " is almost always pronounced as " th "
in "thine," "f" as " v," "e" as " i," and "s" as " z."
The idioms of this " most interesting form of English
speech," as that great linguist. Prince Louis Lucien
Bonaparte terms it are too numerous " to be dwelt on
in the brief space of a " Note."

GLOSSARY

A, of, have
ab'A, above
adi<, to do, ceremony,

adieu
agaun, gone
agin, against
agvrayn, going
aight, eight
ails, eels
ayzy, easy
ayt, eat

alongzide, beside
anuff, enough
arely, early
orter, after
atween, between

aun, on
aut, awt, of it
avaur, before
aw'niin, of them
aw's, of us
ax'd, asked
azide, beside

Bayst, beast

br;lHn, calling

haXu, row

ban, band

bang, to beat a sound,

a noise
banging, great

bant, beant, am not
bekase, because
bim bye, bye and bye
bin, been
bit, but

blaijed, obliged
blid, blood
bort, bought
bout, about
bral, brawl
brauk, broken
brekses, breakfast
bul, bell

Cabical, capital
caunder, corner

8o

GLOSSARY.

carr, carry
cheel, 'child
claj^n, clean
clipper, a knock
cockleert, daybreak
com'd, came
cort, caught
crayturs, creatures
cud, could
cwd'n, couldn't
c«t, acute
cuz, because
coukerbul, an icicle

Drot et, ods rot it
paps, image
dorter, daughter
deeve, deaf
dimmet, dusk
diss'n, don't you
dud, done, did
dra, dra, to draw
dr«p, to drop
draut, throat
dunnaw, don't know
dyver'd, faded

Ess, yes

eet, yet

aykl, equal

er, or

ez, ess — his, us, we

Firnt, front
foce, force
fulty, filthy
fust, first

Gawkim, a

fellow
gied, gave

stupid

gie, give
gilhal, Guildhall
girt, great
girtly, greatly
gwayn, going

Ha, have
ha, he
hof, half
hflid, head
hal, to draw
handid, handed
hannel, handle
harly, hardly
hat, to knock
haup, hope
haul, hole
hikes, go

hinkling, inclination
hist, hast
hoce, hoarse
hollar, to cry out
horn, home
hwd, wood
hulkin, lubberly
liummau, dumman,
woman

Iny, any
irt, right
ith, hath
iv'ry, every

Jist, just

Kaynin, looking
karrin, carrj'ing
kend, kind
kindiddled, enticed
kiss'n can'st not
kort, caught

kort, court
kws, course
kwt, acute
kuzz'n, cousins

Laur, low, lor, Lord
lauss, lost

Ma, my
macy, mercy
man'd, man would
manijed, managed
mare, mayor
mer, me
inezul, myself
miny, many
mort'l, very
much, to smoothe
mucks, mud
murch, much

Nack, knock
nat, not
nauble, noble
nauze, nose
naw, knowledge
naws, knows
nort, nothing
Norny, Northernhay

Ort, anything

Pakin, strolling
pasnips, parsnips
penner'd, penny-
worth
pwches, mouths
pheasants, peasants
pin, upon

pillamy, pillem, dust
platter, plate
purty, pretty
puss, purse

GLOSSARY.

8l

Quardlin, qaarreling

Rayfuzil, refusal
rayls, revels
raymid, stretched
rauze, rise

Saff, safe
sar'd, serve
scra'ld, crawled
skace, scarce
skiddick, a scrap, or

small portion
shet, shut, shot
shwd, should
stop, stop
steev'd, stiff
stuer, dust
stwd, stood

Ta, to

tap, top

thit, that

thort, thought

thur, thee

tidd'n, 'tis not

tide, tied

thrapse, to walk about

tn, to, two

tul, tell

tiimmil'd, tumbled

twoad, toad

Ull, wiU
nlse, else
uny, only
ur, or
urd, red
urdlier, earlier
urch, rich
«rn, to run

urning, running
us'd, we had
uv, of

Vack, fact

val'd fell

valin, falling

vantysheeny, showy

varder, further

vath, faith

vaur, before

vaut, fault

veefty, fifty

vier, fire

vin'd, fined

vippence, fivepence

vlid, flood

voks, folks

voller'd, followed

vrim, from

vi'ight, right

vrites, writes

vrizzin, frozen

vu\, fool

vuller'd, fellow had

vulty, filthy

vun, fun

vung, vang, find, take,

gather
vur, for
vurgit, forgot
vury, very
vussled, hurried

Wack, knock
wa eking, great
wan, one
wance, once
wap, thrash
wat, what
way, with
wayout, without
wid, would

weth, worth
whacker, great
wiz, was
wiss, would'st
whit, white
wurdle, world
wul, well
wulvare, welfare
wur, were
wuss, worse

Teller, yellow

yer, yur, your— here,

hear
yer'd heard
ywshil, usual
ywm, you are

Za, so

zayce, cease

zart, soft

zartin, certain

zaw,'saw

zed, said

zee, see

zeed, seen

zes, says

zhapse, shape

zich, such

zide, side

zim'd, seemed

zims, think

zin, son, sun

zlappin, sleeping

zlipper, slippery

zmitch, smell

zom, some

zot, sat

zummat, something

zwn, soon

zwant, soft, pliable

zwetting, sweating

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